No Surrender!

Just a quick follow up to my weigh in.

I did a killer 45 minute spin class tonight. I then ran for 10 mins, non stop, at my fastest speed this year. I've been trying to run for 10 mins straight towards the end of a work out to try and build up my stamina for the triathlon.

Tonight was the first time I did it.

In your face scales. NO SURRENDER!

Weigh In

Just as well I made a list of non scale victories last night as the scale is a total bastard.

After a week of eating brilliantly and working out at a very high intensity on 4 occasions, well, 4.5 actually , I have PUT ON 0.25 of a pound. WTF? Okay - so it's such a tiny gain that I've practically stayed the same but none the less - what is hell is going on?! Is it really too much to ask for four weeks of weight loss in a row? I would seem I am physically incapable of it.

I am totally pissed off but after years of battling with the scales, nothing surprises me anymore. Therefore, I am choosing to ignore the numbers as I know I feel a small difference in my clothes and I know I am feeling stronger and fitter. Still confused though and have been thinking back over where anything could have been improved upon... Okay, so I drank wine on Friday night and Saturday's evening meal wasn't very healthy and on Sunday I picked at crisps. Oh, and there was full fat margarine on my toast on Sunday morning.  And that was it! Christ, what kind of life need to be led to see results?

Okay, rant over. I am annoyed (d'ya think?!) but this is were I let myself be beaten time and time again. I'm still around half a stone away from where I usually hang out and so if it all turns to shit now then I'll just be allowing a cycle of gain to exist.

I'm going to have another great week, carry on kicking arse at the gym (and on the bike), eating lots of the right things and barely few of the wrong. Changes that I will make are; no wine and keeping a note of syns.

Onwards and downwards.


Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 196.25 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: plus 0.25 pound
Total Weight Loss: 8 pounds

Speedtrain coming through

Shitting hell. Who the fark decided life was going to go radio rental (mental - do try and keep up). I've got all these posts (okay, two) carefully composed in my head and there ain't no time to write them.

I've had three new business enquiries come through all today and two of them are definite go-ers. The other I have to write a proposal for so it's all systems go, and yer granny's systems too. I actually don't know how I am going to do all this work and I am panicking a bit. Yes, that's why spending time blogging. I know, I know!

Apart from taking my car to the garage for an MOT and service first thing tomorrow I've got a whole day at my desk and so I'm going to have to beast on as much as I can before trotting off to spinning at 5.30pm. See, that's part of the problem. Going to the gym takes up valuable time. I was out this evening at a voluntry thing I do and so I HAD to go to the gym at lunchtime today. I'm off up to TB's on Thursday afternoon and so I'm trying to cram as much exercise in as possible while I'm at home. I also cycled to my thing tonight which was 25 minutes each way.

Once I've wrapped this baby up, I need to call my mother and then I'm going to do work for an hour and then it'll be time to do the dishes and then hang the washing up and then go to bed. Oh, and speak to TB as well. So that'll be another 11.30pm bedtime. And then tomorrow morning I get to weigh myself! Lucky me!

In prepartation for possible bad times on the scales tomorrow I've made a note of some  non scale victories to keep me in good spirits (not the kind I'd like).

• Sleeves on a dress I was wearing the other day felt looser around the tops of my arms
• Tummy definitely looks and feels flatter
• Mum said my cheekbones are more prominient and my face doesn't look as round
• Belt is doing up a notch tighter
• Feeling fitter and stronger when exercising

Onwards and downwards!

Ch ch ch changes

On Saturday night a few of us were out for drinks including Skip and his girlfriend who is also my friend. This was the first time I've seen them both since they've officially been an item.

I knew I was likely to see them and I was a bit nervous about it. There is nothing to actually be nervous about but it's that way where you think to yourself 'just be relaxed and act naturally' and then you feel a bit uptight. I was with TB and there were plenty of other people there too so it wasn't like the four of us were sitting facing each other, forced to make pleasantries. I chatted away to both of them, making the effort to make them feel I was fine with what's going on. I can imagine she would have been a bit nervous too as the whole set up is pretty fucked up. I suppose that's what happens when you have a group of friend that are adults and single. Stuff happens.

All in all I was pretty much fine with the whole scenario.I won't lie to you, I did have one eye on them most of the evening and I was careful not to ask any questions that would illicit an 'us response'. So that's that really. Life moves on...

TB and I also experienced a pivotal moment in our relationship this weekend. Well, I suppose it's more a rite of passage. This event can really bring out a person's true colours and has been known to result in blazing rows. Yes, we went to Ikea. I've been working from my dining room table and slowly but surely my back is getting sorer and sorer. I mentioned to TB that I needed to buy a desk and it was him that suggested going to the Scandinavian superstore.

Off we trotted yesterday and with little fuss picked out a desk, brought it home and assembled it! Okay, TB assembled it while I made him juice and faffed around. I knew he would put it together no problem (he's an engineer) but it was how well we got on in the shop that I was impressed by. I looked at a lot of desks, he had measured a lot and I had made up my mind which one was best. He wrote down all the particulars and we were good to go. Then I changed my mind. Instead of just standing and waiting for me, he made suggestions, discussed the various options and helped me make the right choice. I couldn't wish for someone better to have by my side.

Okay! I did end up shouting at him in the car as he proceed to point out every car that braked or had their reverse light on as I tried to navigate our way out. I can drive perfectly well, thanks! Bloody back seat driver. Ach well,  no one's perfect, eh?

Some words

So so busy with work, tidying the flat, diving off to meet old colleagues for a few after work drinks and I need to buy some new pants from M&S as matter of urgency (it's got to a very bad place in my knicker drawer) so this is a mad mental update.

• Work is very busy and it just keeps coming. I actually want it to slow down for summer!
• Still totally on plan with me diet. 
• Belt is comfortably doing up in the next hole along.
• Kicking arse at the gym but not going to be getting a workout for three days on the trot.
• Need to get outside for a long run. Dreading that a bit.
• Cannot wait for a drink tonight.
• TB arrives tonight for the weekend!
• Life is rocking at the mo.

Have a rip snorting weekend my darlings. Out! x

Weigh in

It's been an odd weigh in. The ultimate result is a loss of 1.25lbs. I'm pretty happy with that. I really wanted a 1.5lb loss as that would take me into the 13s and I am bit miffed it's not more as I have worked so so hard. It is on the back of two really strong weeks though so I'll take it.

What I am particularly miffed about is the flaming rigmarole I had to go through to get that number. I've got a set of fancy dan WW scales that not only tell you what weight you are but they also do body fat, bmi and water %. The instruction book tells you not to jump on and off them, taking several readings because they are so sensitive that if you are in a slightly different position they will give you a different reading.

Right.... okay. I get that but there is no way I am ever taking one reading and one reading only. How many of you only stand on the scales once? I'm willing to bet very few. I probably get on and off at least 4 times and that all depends on what the consistency of the numbers are. Today they were all over the frickin place. 14stone. 14 stone 1lb. 14 stone 2lb. 14 stone 1lb. 14 stone 2lb. 14 stone 2lb. 13 stone 13.5lb. 14 stone 1lb. 14 stone.

Eh?

So I'm not really too sure what the hell is going on. There is no way I have put weight on.  It's not possible. I'm going to take a sort of average and have stuck with 14stone dead on (yes, the very first reading!).

Regardless of what the scales are saying I feel a bit slimmer, especially around my middle and my waist. I'm doing all the right things and so I just need to keep on keeping on. Looking back over my number crunching spreadsheet, which logs all my weigh ins from June last year, three weeks was the longest I was actually consistent and lost weight. That's truly awful. If I carry on doing what I'm doing and lose something (anything!) next week then I'll have hit a four week run.

Onwards and downwards!



Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 196 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.25 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 8.25 pounds

Good day at work, darling?

I had a great weekend with TB. His flatmate was away and so we had the place to ourselves. All in all it was pretty quiet and laid back which was just what I wanted. After two weeks of being apart all you want is some alone time - with no interruptions!

It was just so good being together and to be told nice things that you want to hear. I love him so much and I have really missed him. Yesterday when he was at work and I was working from his flat I did some washing for him, tidied the kitchen and made the tea ready for us to have that evening. I know, I'm a (stepford) mug. I was up early though and that's the joy of working from home, you can fit in things like that.

I like looking after him (okay, maybe not so much the washing) and when I told him this he told me he likes looking after me too; doing things for me and making sure I'm okay. That makes me feel so good. That is a big part of what love is, for me. Doing things for someone else that make them feel good and makes their life easier. And that goes for anyone in my life that I love- my friends and my family.


I really made an effort to stick to my diet over the weekend and I would say I did that about 85% of the time. There were a few slip up that were unplanned such as a picking at bread and crisps yesterday, and a few that were like the wine on Saturday night. I didn't say anything to TB about really making an effort but I think he's pretty much got the message. I bought a few things from the supermarket including some cold meat. I knew he wanted the chorizo selection and just as I was leaving he said: "Get whatever meat you like'. I brought back two types - his cured selection and a packet of lean ham for me. 'I bet that one jumped right out at you', he said, pointing at the word lean, on the cover.

I'm glad that he doesn't make me talk about it or question me. Or try and give me tips but just gets on with it. That is a pet hate of mine, someone who realises you are trying to be healthy and lose weight and then they proceed to give you their pearls of wisdom. How about shut up and eff off! Why do they assume that they know more that you or that you've not tried what they are suggesting. Mind yer own beeswax and piss off! Sorry.... bit of a rant there.

Last night we went to play badminton. I'm not too bad and can hold my own. TB's not played since he was at primary school (insert suitable joke about him not being long out of school here) and so I was expecting to win. And I did. Totally kicked his arse! Because the level of playing wasn't so high there wasn't quite as much running around but since we played for an hour and a half straight I think we more than made up for it. TB was the one that wanted to play on so he could try and beat me.

So tomorrow is weigh day. I'm going to have an early tea tonight and then hit the gym for my (put on a dramatic voice here please) last chance workout. This means that in the past week my exercise will have been...

• A spin class
• 1 hour gym workout
• 14 mile bike ride
• 1.5 hours of badminton
• 1 hour gym workout

Mon the scales!

The gauntlet has been thrown down

My poor thighs. My poor aching thighs.

I've really worked hard at the gym this week. Every day this week. Yup. I have worked out five days on the trot. Ooft. I have really pushed it. I'm only one and half pounds away from getting into the 13stone bracket. I want it so much that even when the sweat is dripping off me and I am spent, I've pushed on for another ten minutes.

Today I was going to do a slightly more relaxed session. The sun was shining and so I decided get my bike out and go for a wee cycle. I got my tunes on and 14 miles later I was back home. Oh yeah - 14 frickin' miles. No wonder my thighs feel like a lead weight. As for my backside.... don't ask.

There is also another reason I wanted to get my cycle on. I'm going to sign up for The Cairngorm Adventure Challenge (CAT). Apart from the fact it's the word cat (love it!) it's a difficult challenge - 3km canoe, 25km bike ride and then a 5km run. Oh my. Oh my oh my.

This is really going to test me. I wanted have a goal that will make me get my backside in gear. I'll exercise because it's helping me toward this goal, not because I just should. It's not until September though so I've got time to really get my fitness up. I don't just want to complete it, I want to kick ass!

PS) Thanks for all your feedback on moving in with TB. Loving the positive vibe. I'll tell you this though, he's got to ask me; I'm not bringing it up!

Home sweet home

I'm going to let you in on a secret.

I'm hoping that TB and I will move in together this year. I know, it sounds quick doesn't it? The thing is, it's hard being this far apart. Okay, I know it's not really that far but it takes 2 and a half hours to get to each other and when I head to his on Saturday, it will have been two weeks since we've seen each other. That's a long time.

We've both had busy weekends and then this week he's been working late, I've been out and about we've barely had a chance to catch up over the phone. I miss him. We ended up having a really stupid fight on Monday night and we hung up on each other - over nothing. We made up the next morning but we've both noticed there does seem to be a pattern there. After about a week of not seeing each other we both get a bit annoyed (more grumpy on my part) and we ended up bickering a bit. I actually cannot wait to see him. I know that when I leave on Tuesday morning I'll still feel like I've not had enough of him. I don't want to speak to him, I just want to be with him.

While my clients are based within an hour of where I live now, I work from home and only see them face to face once every few weeks. I could still easily do this if I moved to TB's area. He has to be where he is for work. In fact, that's the only place he can be for it - ever, unless he goes abroad (I'd be up for that too!).

Right now, he rents a place with his flatmate. In August, that will have been a year. I'd take a guess that come August they will have to decide if they want to renew or not. That seems like a logical time to think about next steps!
 
However, in reality, I don't think that will happen. There are too many practical elements that need to be addressed. I own my flat. I'd need to rent it out and that takes time as not only would I have to find people (don't think that would be too hard). I'd need to move all my stuff out and make sure it was in good order (I've got a lot of photos on the walls - hello pollyfilla). Can you tell I've thought about this?!


And then there is my biggest concern, my cat! I was just looking at him last night while he was stretched out on the couch, thinking how much I love him. Right now he's sitting on the window ledge next to me purring away as he peers out the window. We've been together since he was 6 months old and he's almost 9. He's my boy. My big grumpy, fluffy, gorgeous boy. I'd want to take  him with me. That takes planning. Careful planning. And if that was a total no go then the back up options (mum and granny) take even more planning!

So the chances are it's not going to happen this year. The thought of doing the journey back and forth for another six months at least does not fill me with joy. Especially as right now I am feeling peeved with the whole long distance thing. But then I need to think about it like this.... If the time comes when I do move away and it's to be with TB, I'll never live here again. I love my flat. I love living where I do. I'm close to all my friends and family. I know and love the city I live in. I've got the comfiest couch in the world! Flea bag pussy cat is happy here.

Weigh in

 Hello my little chickadees

Today is a good day. The sun is shining, I have booked flights for a week in the South of France and I lost 3.25lbs when I weighed in. Yes, you read that right three and a quarter pounds! Boo yaaaaaa!

What the frick is that all about? Earlier this year, shifting an ounce was a gargantuan challenge but somehow, in two weeks, I've lost half a stone! Back of the net! I've altered my stats so that my starting weight was the heaviest I've been this year, rather than what I was at the first 2011 weigh in.

While my body is mystery to me sometimes, there are three things I did this week that no doubt made a difference.

1. No alcohol. I had a weekend off the booze and not a drop passed my lips all week.
2. Stayed on plan. Yes, Thursday of last week was a shitter of an eating day and Friday was dubious but after that I did not deviate once. Clean eating, loadsa fruit and veg, not so many carbs.
3. Exercise. I worked out on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Hard. Sunday was body attack (something new) and on Monday and Tuesday I totally mixed it up at the gym. I've been doing the same thing for far too long, in the same order. I did the same stuff but for different lengths of time, some extra weights and pushed myself just that bit extra.

I would like to point out that I didn't see TB at the weekend. Yes, that most definitely helped. It is harder when he's around but I need to concentrate on this result to help me stay focused (going to his from Saturday to Tuesday morning).

I've got 7 and a half weeks before we go on hols to France. There is a half stone there (and possible more) for the losing if I really want it.


Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 197.25 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3.25 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 7 pounds

Stand down from your panic stations

I am an idiot. What a complete tube.

So the thing I was expecting to arrive still hasn't arrived  - and then it dawned on me. Last year I got the coil fitted. The kind I got makes your periods lighter. In fact it makes them so light that they often fade away to nothing.

Yup, the answer was that simple. And the reason I was so tired was because that was the time I would have had my period. Thank goodness I didn't get all worried and convince myself there was a bun in the oven.

Mother knows best

My mum has got a dream to run her own B&B. She loves to cook and look after people and boy, does she do it well. I think she should take tweak her dream slightly, inject it with a helping of her bossiness-  and run a boot camp!

After my weigh in on Wednesday I went a bit off the rails. I had a good result and was feeling really positive and was giving it all 'yeah - game on!' to myself. But then, my enthusiasm petered out. Why? Well, I don't know - do I?! I seem to be veering wildly from being totally resolute to planning a trip to the shops to buy some chocolate, which is exactly what I did on Thursday. I had been working all day at an event and had not managed to resist the free cupcakes, canapes and chocs on offer. When I got home the idea of buying some chocolate popped into my head. Once the idea is there - that's it, the seed has been planted and before I know it, it's a fricking oak tree.

Friday was a lot better. Not amazing, but quite good. Saturday I went to my folk's for the night -where Wondermum set me straight. We had a bit of  chat about all things dieting and while that didn't necessarily fire me up, it did get me thinking. On top of that, I was fed. Fed only what she chose to let me have. I arrived mid avo, only having eaten a chicken salad. Dinner was Tuscan bean soup (homemade) and then I had some melon later in the night. That was it. That was all I was allowed. Sounds harsh, eh? I know. I know!

However, it was exactly what I needed. A day of frugal eating to remind me that I don't need to panic about food.  Sometimes I worry that I'm going to be hungry, and use that as an excuse to overeat, not to the gym - and just generally give up.   So Saturday was a corker and today has been the same. I also went to my first ever body attack class.

I'm not a fan of trying new exercise. It takes me a while to get my head round it and then an even longer while to actually try it. I was meeting my friend at her gym and the only class that suited the time we were there was attack. I did not want to go. I moaned my face off about it, even as we were entering the gym. However, onwards I plodded and was soon starjumping, lunging and superman jumping. Yes, that's right superman bloody jumping. I ask you...

So I'm feeling a lot more focused. It also helps that I've got a short-ish term deadline. I'm only going on holiday in 8 weeks to the south of France. Yeah Baby!