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Well Howdy Doody!

How are you my sweets? I am just dandy and have been very busy of late - so much to tell!

I'm not going to lump everything into one post so here's a quick topliner...

My holiday in Italy was just lovely. The pissing rain, thunder and lightning - not so much. I think there were two days that it didn't rain at all but I still had to wear my hat (I bought on the first day) the whole time. Pretty damn chilly. It was still a great holiday. We saw lots, we slept lots and we ate lots. Well, I certainly did. Pizza, ice cream and featured heavily. I think I may have cried with sheer unadulterated pleasure when I devoured Kinder ice cream. It was filled with huge chunks of kinder chocolate. Insane.

It was also really nice to hang out just the two of us, TB and I. Lots of hand holding and kissing in public (apparently that's the done thing in Italy!) and just getting along brilliantly. 

The Plan, you remember - the one where I was going to go hell for leather with the healthy eating and exercise until the morning I went on holiday - well, it wasn't so much of a plan and more like a notion I maybe had for 17 seconds. I'm afraid it did not happen. In fact, if anything, the reverse did. I started eating with gay abandon several days before we went on holiday and that pretty much continued until last night (despite going to the gym yesterday morning). But, today is Wednesday and this morning the scales and I were reunited. It's been 19 days since my last weigh in and I've put on..... 7lbs! Yup - half a stone has lumped on. Oops.

I was in denial a little bit, thinking I had got away with still being in the 12stones but when 13stone 2.5lbs flashed up there was no escape. And then to add insult to injury - I saw this picture of me taken at the weekend. You can practically tell what make of pants I am wearing!

So what am I going to do about it? Well, how about this crazy idea; I'm going to STOP FAFFING ABOUT. It's time get get serious. I know what to do. Not only is that eating the right foods and working out but it also involves cutting out sneaky mouthfuls and tastes of things that have no place in my gob. It's back to tracking and logging. Dull - but necessary.

I'm heavier than I was at my first 2012 weigh in - not cool. I want to get the hell outta the 13s asap and down down down into the 12s. There are so many things coming up (no holidays!) so it's time to bust some moves.

The plan

Or more correctly... THE PLAN (also known as Stop Fannying Around). The block capitals represent a refreshed me. A me with some motivation! I know... where the chuff did this come from?

My post on Friday was all about mindful eating for the rest of the weekend. That mindful eating didn't go as well as I might have hoped. Friday and Saturday were.... okay. Just okay. Sunday? Oh dear. Not good at all. Not one bit. Not only did I eat a lot of unhealthy foods, but I ate a lots of them. My portions were massive.

I woke up on Monday morning and was still wiped out from camp with no idea of what damage had been done. Thoughts of dragging myself to the gym swiftly got binned. Instead, I stayed in bed and came up with.... the plan. The plan is the introduction of a new (temporary) weigh day. I go on holiday three weeks on Friday. I'm giving it my all from now until Friday and then we shall see what the scales have to say.  I then have three weeks to get into Fresh Fat.

I'm expecting the scales to be no higher than 12stone 12lbs on Friday but I'm hoping for less than that. Even if they are 12stone 12lbs, that gives me three weeks to lose 5lbs. This is all totally do-able. I just need to stop fannying around. I want to feel great on holiday and I could feel fricking amazing by simply dropping less than half a stone.

It's day three today and I'm feeling good. I'm on plan. I'm organised. I am determined.  Bring it!

Weigh in

What the frick? That's three weeks in a row. THREE WEEKS, people, that I have put on weight.

You might expect me to be tearing my hair out or at least chopping off a limb (a sure fire way to lose a pound or two) but I'm actually quite calm. I did only put on a quarter or a pound but that's not the point - the numbers are going the wrong way. I don't know if I'm calm because this whole situation is so ridiculous that I have gone to another place in my mind (I think that's called crazy town) or if it's simply because nothing surprises me when it comes to this losing weight malarkey.

I know I went a bit mental with the cakes at the weekend but I know how much I ate - and considering how much exercise I've done, I know that's not enough to justify what is going on. If I ever am in a place where I need to maintain (at this rate - NEVER going to happen) I would like to think I wouldn't have to knock my pan in five times a week at the gym. That's what I just did  - and I gained!

The only hope I have is that the numbers were skewed by my period which is on the cusp of arrival (welcome home TB who has gets home tomorrow after a week away) and I am feeling especially bloated and big boobed.

Bloating or no bloating, what am I going to do. Well, um - at the risk of repeating myself, I'm going to carry on trying. After weigh in this morning I went to the gym and then had fruit for breakfast. It's business as usual. I'm going to have a great week (NO CAKES even if they are instead of lunch or dinner) and carry on.

Starting Weight: 183 pounds
Current Weight: 179.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: plus 0.25lbs
Total 2012 Weight Loss: 3.75lbs


I've decided I'm not going to bang on about exercise and all that malarkey too much and make sure I'm blogging about the fun things in life too. It's a huge part of my life but I'm not about to let it take over. I've been inspired by the gorgeous Linzerello who has started a new blog about her outfits and rockin style (you can check it out here.) to make more of an effort. And without further ado - here we go.

 

I've been wearing this dress for a couple of years now. It's a Primark number and has a lovely scoop neck at the back too. It's a bit big now as it always falls off my shoulder but a cardi, or jacket fixes that. I just bought the jacket the other day. It's a touch too short for jeans without a longer layer underneath but perfect to smarten up a dress. I was just off to a meeting so popped it onto sharpen the whole thing up.

Dress: Primark (£16.99 I think)

Belt: Can't remember

Jacket: H&M (14.99)

Leggings: H&M (£3.99)

Hopeful but unconvinced

Dinner last night was relatively healthy. Well - it was healthy; a nice veggie curry and brown rice. What wasn't so great was the half a cupcake and fair few matchmakers I scarfed. I did do my 2.5mile walk as planned though and so all was not lost.
Today has been a sterling day and all that remains (apart from a power of work) is spinning and grilled pork chop and veg for tea.

So how am I feeling about tomorrow? Well... unsure to be honest. I'm expecting a loss of some description as I mainly stuck to my eating plan and worked out quite a bit. What might derail me is the ice cream situation of Thursday night (oops) and Saturday's few slip ups. 

Here is the week of exercise. Let's hope it was enough.

Wednesday: Gym workout. 4.6 mile cycle
Thursday: Spinning. 4.32 mile cycle
Friday: 7.26 mile cycle
Sat & Sun: Nothing
Monday: 2.16 mile cycle. 2.5 mile walk
Tuesday: 2.16 mile cycle. Spinning.

Hello stranger

Cooooeeeeee!
Well hey there! How the HELL are ya? What the devil has been going down?  Me? Oh, you know - all the usual shenanigans. I was at a wedding at the weekend at which I was a bridesmaid. So much fun. I felt really lovely in my dress and the pics are pretty flattering too - which was a relief considering I've not exactly been sticking to the diet.

Ummm, what else?... Oh yeah, In general I've been eating like a total mentalist that is trying to put on as much weight in as short a time period as possible. Disappointing behaviour that has left me feeling pretty sick fed up with myself - and literally sick, at times.

BUT.... the fog is lifting. I've got a clear run of a whole week with no plans for drinking or crazy nights out - and lots of time for exercise. I've pretty much done what I know always works for me - and that is to make a plan. I know exactly what exercise I am doing every day until Monday. I know exactly what meals I am eating until Saturday lunchtime. I follow the plan; I tick the boxes.

I didn't take part in the weekly weigh in today as I'd put my mortgage on the fact I would have seen 13stone something. No thanks. I do not want to see 13 stone ever again. I'm going to get back into the groove for a week and then I'll see what is going on.

For the moment - it is one day at time.

Weigh in

Okay - we have a number. And that number is 0.5. I'm half a pound down from where I was two weeks ago.

I have no idea what weight I was last week - it might well have been up on the week before - so I am happy to take the half pound off. This means that today I'm sitting at 12stone 10.75lbs. That's just 3.25lbs off my lightest ever and 2.5 off the two stone mark.  That is nothing! I could lose that in a few weeks if I keep the focus.

Not only am I back to working out 5 days a week (well, until next week went work life and social life go totally mental - have I told you I am going to see Erasure?!) but I'm back to the simple meals of fish and pile of veggies for dinner, fruit for snacking and lots of coffee. I know the coffee thing isn't really that good for you but I love it and it helps distract me from other food.

I felt pretty wobbly last week (physically wobbly, not mentally) especially around the tummy area, which is not usually my problem area but I'm glad to say I'm feeling better this week and I feel confident about pushing on and waving goodbye to those pesky 3lbs that just won't take the hint!

Now, I want to chat about something completely unrelated. Strippers. I know, where did that come from? I'll give you one guess. TB.

Last night (a Tuesday night, no less) TB called me at 2.30am. Totally shitfaced. A few after work drinks escalated into a very boozy night and he was hammered. He then reveals he had been to a strip bar. Not a big group of boys, just two of them. And he paid one of them £10 for a dance. I know his mate and I know it would have been his idea but still, I'm not happy about this.

Normally, I don't give a shit if my boyfriend goes to the strippers - if it's part of a big group and a lairy boys night out. When there are just two of them on a Tuesday night - and he pays for a dance... Well, I just think it's a bit seedy. Not to mention the fact I am watching the money like a hawk at the moment and he is giving £10 to a stripper. That is pretty unrelated as it's his money and he can do what he likes with it - it just infuriates me.

I have no doubt in my mind that he would cheat on me. Ever. In fact, while there is no way I would do it to him either I do think I'm the higher risk of the two of us. There is no risk - at all, but if I HAD to name one of us, it would be me.

I just don't like it though. I think it's seedy and sad and it doesn't make me feel that great about myself. He knows I'm not happy about it - I made this clear when we were speaking last night. I'm not going to bang on about it today when we speak when he is sober as I don't want him to not tell me if he goes, but I do need to tell him how it makes me feel.


Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 178.75 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 25.5 pounds
PS) Think these stats were all wrong last weigh in - sorted now.

It was the night before weigh in

Back to the old routine.

Tomorrow is weigh in - the first in two weeks. I have no idea what number I'll see on the scale in the morning.  14 days ago I was 12 stone 11.25lbs. If I'm the same again I'll be quite happy. I got back on track last week and I'd say I'm operating at about 85% of the intensity I was - before my wobble.

The weekend was not the healthiest. I was on a hen weekend and there was a lot of wine and there were a lot of cupcakes. And a few other naughties. I hadn't eaten a whole lot during the day on Sunday and so when I got home I got stuck into some filthy supernoodles. Oh, they were so good and cheap and nasty.

On a complete aside let me say, I am so glad the hen weekend is over. I'm a bridesmaid (not the chief bridesmaid I might add) and pretty much organised the whole thing from beginning to end. What a fricking nightmare. Why can't people just do what they are told, send me what they are supposed to send me and generally stop questioning me! Never again. I am never organising a hen do.

So here is the exercise run down for the last week...

Wednesday: 10 mile cycle
Thursday: Spinning
Friday: 35 mins weights workout
Saturday/Sunday: Nothing
Monday: Gym workout - resistance, 2.2 mile cycle
Tuesday: Spinning, 2.2 mile cycle

Choo choo

I think I'm back on track.

My eating is pretty damn shit hot (apart from a bit too much sugar - as per usual) and I've had three really good workouts three days running. Some of the bloat from the weekend's face filling episode has gone down and I feel more in control. Oh control how I love thee.

I'm planning meals and trying to be as organised as possible. So far, so good. I've got 5 hours on a train tomorrow as I head off for a hen weekend but I know what's for brekkie and lunch. Dinner will be eaten out but it's about making the sensible choice. One choice at a time.

I'm a bridesmaid in three weeks time. I don't want to let myself down on the day by wishing I could have done more.

E = Mc Fatty

The title of this post should be 'Weigh in'. Should. It's not. It's not because I couldn't face the scales this morning. For the first time since March, I've dodged a weigh in. 

After my mini meltdown on Friday I proceeded to stuff my face for most of the weekend, culminating in a toffee frenzy on Sunday night. Hmmmm. Not good. Monday morning rolled around and I started the day well. Fruit for breakfast, scrambled eggs (no toast) for lunch and cold meat for dinner. Yeah, that's not much for dinner but I was driving and that was the easiest thing to eat  - alongside the best part of a massive back of mint humbugs. Whoops. I was buzzing on sugar, let me tell you. Distracted, edgy, tired but not relaxed.

I was visiting my friend 50 miles away who has just had a baby. I was heading home and I saw the turnoff on the motorway for my parent's house. I took it. I needed some mummy loving and so I headed to the family nest.

After blethering with my mum and dad for a while, mum and I soon got down to the serious nitty gritty. I didn't quite give her the full version of what I posted her on Friday but I did allude to the fact that I was worried about being left behind. She didn't give me much of chance to dwell on that and cut me off with a "Don't worry about that" - and moved onto what positive action I was going to take. Okay then - no time for self doubt or pity then.

But it's the positive action that I'm struggling with. I've definitely put on quite a few pounds. I can feel it when I'm running; I can feel it in my clothes. I'm not sure of the extent of the damage but it has been done, I can promise you that.

The problem has been having a firm plan of action, for food and exercise,  and actually sticking to it. Real life has gotten in the way, work is really busy and my social life too. I've got things happening in the evenings, more time is spent in front of my computer and I've just not had the time to dedicate to the weight loss journey. Dedication is what is takes for me to lose weight and it's that all or nothing attitude that has worked for me. A formula works because of the exact ingredients. If one ingredient changes then it's game over. That's what it's felt like for me. My magical blend has been tampered with.

Well, get yer lab coat and pop on those safety specs on because I'm cooking up a new formula.

So I'm struggling to exercise five times a week at pull pelt? I now do 4 and really really push myself for every minute of those. Plan, plan, plan. Get cooking, prepare meals, take a bag of carrots and some cold meat to the office to snack on during the day. Limit the treats - especially during the week. I know what to eat, I know what not to eat. I just need to think and act accordingly.

The next weigh in will be on Wednesday 5th October. I've got a hen weekend to negotiate between then and now but I can do it. I will do it. 

Onwards.

Good vibrations & positive vibes

So it's Friday and I've almost got three good days under my belt. I was out for dinner last night and while it wasn't the healthiest of meals I made the best choice I could, didn't have any wine and said no to pudding.

I've also had some really good workouts. I was planning to sneak another one in later today but my ankle (zzzzz) is playing up and so I think my 3 mile cycle (to the office and back) and some push ups and leg raises at home will have to suffice.

Looking at next week's diary which is choc a bloc I am really struggling to fit in many workouts. From weigh in to weigh in I used to manage 5. At the moment it's down to 4 and one of those is not as strenuous as it should be. This week it's only going to be 3. Not good. I'm going to have to watch the weekend eating like a hawk so that I make some sort of compensation.

TB is coming to mine for the weekend and on the menu tonight is chilli packed with veg. He is having his with nachos and cheese. I am having mine with a sweet potato. I might even go crazy and have a piece of broccoli. I know - INSANE!

If I'm mindful I can keep have a pretty healthy weekend. Barbeque tomorrow - to which I will take chicken to have with salad, and in the evening we've got my cousin's wedding reception (cheers for the all day invitation). My mum will be there which is a bit like having some sort of insurance policy. I'm not planning to go anywhere near the buffet but if she's there I know even thinking about sneaking a sausage roll would be as offensive turning up in a big white puffy dress. We (TB) are also driving to all these things and so while I could drink I'm not going to knock the booze back while he is stone cold sober.

I'm also wearing the pink dress I wore to the wedding I went to in August. I know I look good in it and so I'm quite hoping for a compliment from my bruv and sister in law. You can but hope. I saw another friend last night who I've not seen for months and months and she didn't utter a peep about me looking any slimmer either. I actually don't mind at all. I know I feel pretty good and that's the main thing.

The plan for the rest of the weekend involves walks by the river, coffee shops, charity shops, films, lots of sex and a bank holiday Monday.

Have a wonderful weekend my darlings - and get sloshed for me!  x

Weigh in. Wolf!

It was that time again this morning... scale time. It's pretty obvious I wasn't looking forward to it after all my bleating and wailing in yesterday's post.

I did that thing where I was dreaming about weighing myself, a sure sign I am worked up about it. In my dream I had somehow managed to find a setting on the scales that meant I got my reading in stones, pounds and ounces. Anyhoo.... I feel like the chubby girl that cried 'the cake is finished' or some such food and fat related metaphor;  I lost 3/4 of a pound.

Sorry, I feel like a fraud. There I was banging on about how I had lost my way and get I still managed to lose something. I was convinced I was going to gain but what do you know, I'm still edging down. And of course, now I am wondering how much I could have lost if I had stayed on track. But enough of those what if thoughts. I'm just so glad that things are moving in the right direction. Yes, they might be moving very slowly but the fact that they are moving at all is a bloody marvelous thing.

I'm not quite back in the positive mind set 100% but I am definitely getting there. Of course, the loss this morning was a farking huge help but last night's workout really got me going. Off I popped to spinning - which was SO hard. I'm still struggling with my fitness a bit and I also felt a bit emotional in the class during some of the longer stand up sprints (I have since realised that my period is due so that might have something do with the OTT emotionals). After the class I thought, 'I know my ankle is still swollen but it feels pretty much okay most of the time, I'm going to test it out on the treadmill'. And so on I popped.

I kept the incline at 0% and tried out 8.6kmph for a minute. It felt okay. I kept going. 30 seconds later I upped my speed to 10kmph for a quick blast. My ankle still felt okay. I took the speed down and walked for a minute. Everything was okay. Could it be that I can actually run? To make sure I tried again and this time I kept going until I hit the 10 minute mark! Can you believe it?! I am so so pleased.

I won't lie to you, my ankle does feel a bit twingy today but nothing too bad at all. My normal routine would be circuits tonight and a 7 mile cycle but I've covered almost 10 miles today on my trusty wheels as I nipped about over town on various errands. And so I'm going to call it a day at that. There is still quite a lot of swelling and so I do need to be careful how much I push on.

I've had a really great day foodwise and I feel motivated to stick to it and push on for another week. The mojo (oh yeah, I ate some of them at the weekend too) is coming back. And thanks for your comments. It really does feel great to you've got people rooting for you.

I've got friend coming over for take out sushi tonight which won't break the diet bank and I'll just say no thanks to wine. One choice at a time. I chose to be in control.

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 177.25 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.75 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 27 pounds

Toiling

I knew this day would come. It’s always been in the post, I just didn’t know how swift the postman would be.

I’ve lost my dieting mojo. Big sigh. I actually just did a massive, shoulder dropping sigh.

I’ve not totally lost the plot. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not inhaling everything that’s not nailed down. I’m not making trips to the supermarket to buy a pile of junk to eat. I’m not secret eating.  But things are not what they used to be – or need to be.

I predominantly blame this stupid, swollen ankle of mine. It would seem that I’m going to have to take it easy for more than just a week or so. It’s still as swollen as ever and rotating it round to a certain degree is impossible. This means running and lunging are still out. I do a lot of lunging as part of my general gym workouts and I know they make a difference. It also means no bodypump, no circuits, no general running. That’s a lot of no’s.

There is still a lot I can do, cycling, cross trainer, spinning, squats, ab work, upper body weights, lower leg static weights - all at a slightly less intensive level than I would like to be doing it. But I’ve not really being doing them.

I just feel so.... unmotivated. I picked at food over the weekend and somehow found myself merrily chomping on chocolate biscuits without a second thought. There were lots of other minor misdemeanours (fudge, meringues, fairy cakes) – the worst of which was eating a kebab at 11pm on Sunday night for my dinner – oh and a bit of chicken and veggie pakora.

So really nothing too major. Really not major at all but compared to my positive and focused attitude, I feel a million miles away. If I ever slip up much I feel like I get right back on track with a sterling day of eating really healthily and keeping portions down – and a really hard and sweaty workout.  

So yesterday, I was feeling annoyed about the kebab action and the weekend of slackness. I stuck to fruit for breakfast and a chickpea and tomato veggie thing for lunch. I then went home, had a healthy tea and proceeded to sit on the couch and demolish the best part of a bag of sherbet strawberries for the rest of the night.  No gym action, just a shit load of sugar. Nice one. Nice one you bloody idiot.

I’m letting this ankle situation get to me. It’s thrown me off track, my routine has been knocked off course and I’m losing focus. When I was in London, barely in control of what I was eating and dealing with the unknown did I let that stop me? NO. Completely the opposite. I saw a challenge and I kicked arse.  Why am I letting this time be any different?

So, I’ve had a few days of dodgy eating and I’ve not exercised as much as I would have liked. That is not going to suddenly make me gain half a stone. Keeping in this frame of mind will make that happen though.

I need to get back into the groove, yes – a slightly different groove – and get the chuffing hell on with it.  I still look the same. I’ve maybe put on a few pounds but that is a mere blip – not a tidal wave.

It’s nearly the end of the working day and I’ve had a great day so far. I’m going to have some fish and veggies for dinner and then I am going to spinning. I do not want to weigh in tomorrow but I am going to do it and I am going to deal with it.

It’s not as much as I should have done but here is the exercise run down.

Wednesday: Upper body weights and side leg raises in the flat

Thursday: 4 miles on bike. 40 min spin class.

Friday: 3 miles on bike, 10 mins cross trainer, 25 mins of weight machines and squats

Sat & Sunday: Nothing

Monday: 5.5 miles on bike

Tuesday: Spinning

Some chitty chat

I ain't got no time to do a proper update, innit. And so here is a quick blast.

• It's TB's and my 1 year anniversary tomorrow! He's coming to mine tonight and I am going to cook us a lovely meal. I am excited!
• I am loving being in an office with people. There is lots of great chat and I am getting loads done. Admittedly, loads is actually lots of hen do organising and emailing friends, but it's getting done!
• The ankle is not good. I've been pretty active and I can feel it hurting later that day/night and it's still very swollen. I've really cut back on the exercise i.e. Wednesday's seven mile cycle and circuits class were replaced yesterday with nothing at all and yesterday I only did a 40 minute spin class. I think I need to get back on the icing. Gonna do some weights on the machines at the gym later today interspersed with some cross trainer action. I know Furious G was looking for some chat on weights. Will get round to this next week, I promise.
• I am hemorrhaging money right now. Dentist fitted a crown yesterday - £280. Bang! Car engine packed in. £800. Bang! Wedding presents - £100. Bang!
• Work is picking up! Got a new gym client, a proper bodybuilding  gym! How exciting is that?! It's feck all money but it's money.
• Eating has been going pretty god damn well but not exercising does not help. Example: Wednesday I did nothing and I ended up eating two meringue nests with creme fraiche (low fat). Not a big deal at all. I mean, we're talking about 150 cals but I would normally have worked out and not eaten that, so it's a double whammy of negativity. Must watch that from now on.

I've also got something very very exciting and also quite scary that I shall be revealing next week. No, I am not up the duff.

Have a wonderous weekend my lovelies. x

Enough crap thank you very much

I'm not expecting great things from tomorrow's weigh in. In fact, I'm not really expecting anything at all apart from a big fat stay the same.

I've missed out on two workouts thanks to my stupid ankle which is still really swollen. It's fine to walk on and to cycle but it does twinge a bit and stairs are a bit more tricky. I went to the gym last night and did 30 mins cardio (bike and cross trainer) and some squats and chest presses but that's about it thanks to the gym shutting early because of some sort of bank holiday rubbish.

I also had too many treats at the weekend. Picked at some chocolate, ate an ice cream float, choc ice, crisps.... I'm going to spinning tonight which will no doubt be another killer as my fitness is down the pan.

It's unreal how quickly you lose it. I've lost my ipod (raging) and so I was sans tunes last night and I could hear myself wheezing away on the cross trainer. I also could only find a 5kg medicine ball for my squat things. Just as well the 6kg was no where to be found. It was so hard!

My boobs also feel bigger and I've had a couple of spots this week, odd considering this is typical PMT behaviour but mine ain't due.

This past week has actually been a royal pain in the arse. Not only did I fuck my ankle, struggle with the diet at the weekend and realise that I lost my ipod shuffle on holiday but my car has packed in too. It's currently getting fixed to the tune of around £700. This is not good. Funds are running very low and I simply don't have this amount of cash spare. Who does? It's going on a credit card and that's where it will have to stay for the foreseeable. This has to be the most expensive month in the history of mankind. Hotels for hen do's and weddings to pay for, wedding presents, travel to weddings, travel to hen do's, baby presents.... people, stop doing life things that mean I have to spend money on you!

There is some good news though. Push aside all the negativity I've just thrown at you (if you can) cause here is the good news...the next six months or so are going to be interesting as I'm working from a desk in the office of a company I used to work for. My old boss is going on mat leave and they are letting me use the space for free. I think it'll do me good to be around more people and I'll hopefully pick up some more work this way.  Although it has meant a whole load of food planning on my part as I can't just wander from my desk into my kitchen at 3pm and have a think about what I might want to prepare for that night's dinner. It's not that much of a major change as I was already pretty organised it just means there is no room for error from now on.

So in anticipation of staying the same here is my weekly workout list.

Wednesday: 35 mins of circuits class
Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun: nothing
Monday: Gym workout, mostly cardio, 1.4 miles on the bike
Tuesday: 5 miles on the bike, spinning

Croatian Comedown

TB snorkels while I enjoy the moment.

 
What a holiday. What a holiday! Crotia is absolutely beautiful. The weather was scorching hot, around 30 degrees everyday, the water was the clearest I have ever seen and the scenery was breathtaking.

Two of my best mates (Aunty and Glamour Puss), another friend, and TB and I, arrived on Thursday 11th into Split and 3 hours later after a mammoth bus journey (we thought it was only going to be an hour and a half) we ended up in Zadar, just a few kilometres from the small village which was hosting the music festival we were there for. The first thing that hit me, along with the heat, was the realisation that it was so hot that shorts were my only option.

I kinda knew that was going to be the deal and so I'd mentally prepared myself for it. While my legs are a sturdy pair of pins and some people might be horrified if theirs were anything like them, they are mine and they are the best they have ever looked so I was actually feeling quite good about getting them out. And out they came, for almost all of the holiday! So much so that I even wore shorts when we went out at night sometimes. I know! Unreal and unheard of.

One night when perched on a wall near the dancefloor, TB was standing next to me, his hand resting on my thigh. "It's lovely being able to touch your bare leg" he said. It felt pretty good too, being there with him - the two of us together and me feeling relaxed, confident and happy.

The whole holiday followed in the same vein. Relaxed, great times. I stuck to my own holiday rules of not being too bossy or blunt and to be a good holiday companion and I think I pretty much rocked it. There were no fall outs and the most cross word between TB and I was when I abruptly woke him up from a nap and he was grumpy about not being gently roused from slumber! Pampered prima donna, that he is.

In the back of my mind I thought I might do some exercise on holiday (other than dancing, swimming and walking to and from the beach/festival site). I had my trainers and gym clothes with me as I took them London en route - so that was no excuse. Instead I found other excuses such as: it's too bloody hot, I'm hungover, I'd rather sit on my arse and sunbathe, I've been up all night and am only capable of snoozing on a sun lounger, I'm too busy drinking cocktails. You get the gist. So while I sweated like a piggy it was only because of the blistering heat and not because of an evangelical set up lunges. Oh lunges, I've not missed you at all.

And then there was the eating and drinking. Let me point out two key things that I pretty much had no choice over. 1. Diet drinks do not seem to exist in Croatia. Yes, you can buy a diet coke in a bar but there is no way you can buy a drop in any shops. So I could have stuck to rum and diet cokes when out and about but, and here is point 2. Beer is the cheapest thing to drink. Cheaper than water! What choice does a person have? None! So there you have it, I chugged back pints of beer and full fat fizzy drinks. I could have coupled this with salad eating to try and balance things out but no, I had pizza. A lot of it. I had pasta, risotto, fried cheese, ice cream, bread and full fat milky coffees. Oh and I smoked like a lum.

Oh wait, one day (at the beginning of the holiday) I ordered grilled chicken. Fried chicken arrived with a side of chips. Do you see what I was up against? Do you?! I decided there was no point worrying about it. I ate what I wanted. And I loved it. I got home last night and this morning, I'm right back into fruit for breakfast and an omlette for lunch. Back to the routine.

12 days off the diet is not going to totally ruin all my good work. It's not the holiday that's the problem. It's the before and after. The "Oh well, I'm going on holiday on Thursday, I might as well treat myself and start gorging four days beforehand" and the "I'm home from holiday but I'll just eat what I like for one more day." One more day. One more day. A month later and it's still one more day. One more day is tomorrow - and a stone later. Don't delay. Take control now and make the moment count.

A whole stromash

Thanks for the lovely comments yesterday about my pics. Just for the record, there is still a lot a junk in my trunk (and general leg area) under the dress. Those floaty layers and the leggings are hiding a multitude of sins! Someone shoot me I almost wrote syns and I'm not even doing Slimming World. Brainwashed, I tell you.

So yes, feeling strong and quite athletic but still got quite a way to go. I'm a size 12/14 on top which is great and I'm really happy with that. On the bottom I'm a size 16. Waaah! I still get a thrill writing that. I'd love to get down to a 14. Even thinking it could happen seems like an impossible dream but as soon as I get back from holidays I am right back on it.

Recently I've seen a lot of people that I've not clapped eyes on for months and months and some others that it's been more a case of weeks. The reactions to my slimmer figure from these various people have been so so varied. People I was with at the weekend who I've not seen for ages said I was looking tiny and asked me how I did it etc. So quite a big response. My best friend (who is having a baby in just a few weeks. Too much excitement!) simply said I was looking the best I've looked for ages. My brother and sister in law who I've seen maybe twice since March (when I started to lose weight) have said nothing. Not. A. Peep.

Normally this would annoy me but I've actually to come to a conclusion (although it's pure conjecture). The people closest to me see me. They see the person that I am; a friend, a sister, a sister in law. They see me and my personality. I'm not just a person that happens to be overweight. That's not what come to mind when they think of me. They think of the person I am and all that encompasses. I'm sure they must notice some changes in me but how much I weigh or what size of jeans I'm wearing does not define me.

In other news. TB is getting on my nerves. He's staying at his parent's this week as he's working out of a different office. We normally speak on the phone for around half an hour each night just before we go to sleep. This has been earlier as he's been going to bed at the same time as his mum and dad. That's totally fine, no issue there, What does piss me off is that he can't really speak at that point as the sound travels really easily in his folk's house. The phone goes and all I get is a whispered 'Hello, how's it going' and after five minutes we have to end the call cause he can't really speak. Or the other reason is that he's tired. Fair enough but how about you call me earlier in the evening!

I just feel like there's not been the closeness that we normally have over the phone. I called him earlier tonight to ask a question about my car (which has been playing up). It rang out and so I left a voicemail. A few minutes later I got a half arsed text back which was useless and pointless. Cheers for the call, doll. Don't go out of your way, will you. In fact, I'm not even asking him to go out his way - just speak to me for a few minutes!

At this stage in the relationship (and earlier in fact) I can feel myself going from a carefree, independent and sometimes hard to get girlfriend to a needy, whiney, slightly pathetic girlfriend. Okay, admittedly that is a gross exaggeration but the other day I heard myself saying "Do you love me?". Gaaaaah! I'm not that person! An irritating girlfriend character in a tv programme TB and I were watching said that very line and he turned to me and made a face that said: "see, only whiny girlfriends say that".

So for those reasons I've been trying to be a bit more relaxed and that also means not calling him. I'm off to London tomorrow and we'll not see each other until Wednesday night and I'm planning to keep up the laid back-ness till then. Sounds pathetic I know, but... well, there it is.

Okay, onto weighty matters. Weigh in is tomorrow and I am not feeling confident. Not confident at all. I've missed out on a couple of workouts because I was away and I also ate lots of biscuits and sweeties. My only saving grace is that I barely drank. This is my low week for weighing and the last three low weeks have registered 0.5lb, 0lb and 1.5lb on!  So we shall see what we see.

In the meantime here's the exercise run down.

Wednesday: 9.3 mile cycle, circuits
Thursday: nothing
Friday: 10.3 mile cycle, bodypump
Saturday: bit of incidental lifting as we lugged camping equipment about
Sunday & Monday: nothing but lots of stomping about in wellies
Tuesday: Spinning
Wednesday: 8.3 mile cycle, set of lunges and squats
Thursday: Gym workout (40 mins cardio, resistance - mostly lunges and squats with weights)

Finally, here is a picture of my serious sweaty betty bod after tonight's work out. Can you see how my top is properly saturated with sweat? Lovely. 

Who the hell knows

So tomorrow is yet another weigh in. I have no idea what to expect.

I've really pushed myself with my workouts and tonight at spinning, dear god, it was brutal. But  (yup, there is always a but) I drank far far too much on Saturday night. Admittedly I ate jack all but.... well, who the hell knows. I'm wearing clothes that I've unearthed from the back of the wardrobe so I've got nothing to use as a measure.

I gained an unexpected 1.5lbs last week so I'd hope that I'd lose those that at least. I just don't know. All will be revealed soon enough. I've got a mental couple of weeks coming up before I go on holiday which has been the milestone I've had in my head for getting down to a certain weight but until I see what the hell is going on tomorrow I don't know if I'll make it.

I just hope the following exercise was enough to keep me going in the right direction.

Wed: Circuits and 6.5 mile bike ride (with very heavy bag!)
Thurs: 2 miles on bike, gym workout (40 mins cardio mixed with lunges, squats, abs)
Fri: 5km (8.8kmph)
Sat & Sun: Nothing
Mon:  Circuits and 6.5 mile bike ride
Tues 6 mile bike ride and spinning

The bigger picture

I've had such a boring few days that I think I've bored myself into a near catatonic state.

At the end of the last week I could feel a cold coming on and I was pretty annoyed about it - mainly because it would impede my exercising  plans. I went to the gym on Thursday as I wasn't feeling too bad at this point. On Friday I felt like crap and sacked off the exercise and a night out with friends too, opting instead for some quality sofa surfing. The next day I still wasn't feeling much better but I was feeling a bit anxious about what it would mean taking another day off working out - and I'm on a six day week this week. I did a bit of googling to confirm what I already suspected - if I felt fine from the neck down then  there was no reason why I couldn't work out.

Going to the gym was the last thing I felt like doing but other than that I was actually just sitting on my arse so if all I felt sleeping and not much else afterwards, then fine. Off I trotted on both Saturday and Sunday and the Sunday workout even ended up being boypump! I went to circuits last night which wasn't that great. Apart from the fact there was lots of sprinting (hate it!) I strained a muscle during the warmup in my left thigh which meant I couldn't squat or lunge and running was  rather tricky too. It's still a wee bit sore today so I'll just have to watch I don't overdo it at spinning tonight.

So how do I feel about tomorrow's weigh in. Optimistic but quite frankly nothing surprises me when it comes to the scales. Based on how I feel, and my diet and exercise over the past then I'm expecting a loss. However, when I did my recap of some my dieting years I realised just how much of a slave to the scale I was. I can't let that happen again. There have been some brilliant non scale victories today which reminded me it's all about the bigger picture.  My mantra tomorrow morning will be 'bigger picture'.

And finally, a quick exercise recap:

Thursday: Gym workout
Friday: Nothing
Saturday: Gym workout
Sunday: Bodypump
Monday: Circuits & 7 mile cycle
Tuesday: Spinning and 2.5 mile cycle

Keep on moving

Tomorrow is weigh day and so as per it's time for a quick exercise recap.

• Wednesday: 2 mile bike ride and 30 day shred
• Thursday: Gym workout (with upped weights)
• Friday: 5km run interspersed with squats/lunges/stair runs/press ups
• Saturday and Sunday: Nothing
• Monday: 3  mile bike ride. Gym beasting (1 hour 20)
• Tuesday: 7 mile bike ride. Spinning

Apart from Wednesday (when it was too wet for circuits) I am really happy with that.  I've upped my weights at the gym and am now running at 9.8kmph. Friday's run was tough going but I kept at it and mixed up the exercised with running. I'm sneaking in an extra cycle this afternoon which will hopefully make up for Wednesday when I also should have done 7 miles but only did 5.

How am I feeling about weigh in? Not sure. I don't feel any slimmer but that's normal as I normally only notice a change every few weeks and it was just 10 days ago I felt a difference. I definitely feel stronger which is great, but as the weekend had a fair few dubious food choices... who knows. On average I've been losing over a pound a week. To keep that average up I really need a good loss tomorrow but at the moment I'd be happy with half a pound.

Just give me a loss! Please? Right - best be off on my wheels.

Mixing it up and messing it up

Leaving five days between posts really isn't good enough. I need to get my (chubby) finger out and get blogging more often. Not that I think you are champing at the bit to hear what's been going on! It's more that I forget loads of stuff that I wanted to say. All of it probably utter guff so consider yourselves off the hook.

So what has been happening? Well, this week has been a real mix up diet and exercise wise. Let's have a quick exercise review (as per).

Wednesday: Circuits class and 6 mile cycle

Thursday: Shovelling and wheelbarrowing sand and gravel

Friday: 3km run (8.75mph) and back garden work out

Saturday and Sunday: Nothing

Monday: Gym workout & 7 mile bike ride

Tuesday: Spinning and 2 mile bike ride

That's 5 workouts in 7 days which I'm pretty happy with. The two new things that I did were my outdoors circuits class and the shovelling. The circuits class was really good. It was great being outside and by the time you warmed up, then did sprints/skipping/side steps between two points with either jumping jacks/lunges/squats at either end, and then circuits followed by more sprints - the hour had flown past. I need to do a separate blog about it as while I liked it and I'll be going back for more (as I they came in a block of 10) but I do have some reservations about how hard you are worked and technique.

As for the shovelling. - not my idea. I was staying at my folk's on Thursday night and because I was there I was going to go to zumba with my mother. However, this got bumped in favour of shovelling four cubic meters of sand and gravel. They are doing some garden work and they bags (which came up to my waist) needed transported to the other side of the garden which meant shovelling the sand and gravel into a wheelbarrow and tipping it out about 30 meters away. It was pretty hard work - as you can tell from my sweaty knees. Please tell me other people get sweaty knees! I also did some lunges and squats to finish off. That's my dad in the other pic. He's 6ft 4 (and bending over in the pic) but you get some sort of sense of scale.

 While I've been pleased with the exercise front I've not been so great on the food front. I made soup this week which I've not had for ages so that mixed things up a bit but the weekend was problematic. I was at a barbeque on Friday and Saturday. I got totally smashed at both of them. I actually only had one very small burger on Friday and a bit of chicken so that was probably less calories than I would have but the booze... ooft.

Saturday was pretty much exactly the same but I did nibble on a few crisps too. Sunday was where I made my poorest choices of the week. It was getting late on into the evening and TB and I were driving back to his from where the barbecue had been (quite a few hours away). We decided to stop off  for dinner but it was getting late and we were in the middle of nowhere with limited choice. I was hungover and very hungry so when TB suggested going to a Chinese restaurant that we knew was open, I just went with it. Hmmmm - I should have pushed for something healthier but, well - I didn't. There's more... I had a big custardy pastry thing too. That kind of cake doesn't even feature in my top ten of cakes, or even top twenty and so why did I eat it?  I have no idea. It was there for the shoving in my face. I decided I wanted it. I ate it.

I'm annoyed with myself but yesterday was a really good day as is today so there is no point in dwelling on it as I got right back on track. I've just got spinning tonight and then once again it's weigh in tomorrow morning. I had a great loss last week and so who knows if after my dodgy weekend the scales will be kind to me. Digits crossed.