Thursday, 29 January 2015

Bumpy Ride

Finally, there is a more than just a tummy that looks choc full of Christmas pies. It's taken me well into my fifth month, but at last, we have a bump.

I won't lie, I've been excited and searching for the bump since the day we found out I was pregnant. I've been searching hard. And although my shape changed and I filled out a bit, there really wasn't much to see.  Maybe because I'm not a skinny wee thing, or maybe because I have child bearing hips, or maybe it's because I'm 5ft 7 - but really until about ten days ago, if you didn't know there was a baby in there, you wouldn't know. You know? In fact, I started this post yesterday and since then, actually overnight - there has been some serious growth. No wonder I was flipping knackered yesterday!

I work alongside a girl who is also preggers and is just two weeks behind me. She is very tall and is maybe a size 22/24. Because our pregnancies are pretty much at exactly the same time, there is nothing that happens to me that hasn't happened to her. And I have to confess, the way she is constantly rubbing her 'bump' confuses me. There really is no bump to speak of - just her tummy that was there before. For some reason I find it really disconcerting. It takes very little to annoy me at the best of times but all this exaggerated rubbing of what is essentially - just tummy - is about to send me over the edge.

And then there is the touching. I had no idea I'd feel like this but I am totally freaked out by anyone trying to touch the bump. The first time it happened was before Christmas when there still really wasn't much of a bump to speak of, or cop a feel of. I was just leaving the office when a colleague I really don't know that well, came towards me with hand outstretched asking if she could touch 'bumpy'. She was coming at me to feel what was was very little than my normal jiggle. Emm, how about no? I actually stopped her and said: "I'm not really into touching".  I'm sorry but her hand was going to be just a few inches above my pants. I think not. I'm not okay with that. On Tuesday the receptionist at work who normally sees me with my coat on, saw me without my outer layers on. She is such a sweet person and before I knew it she had a little rub. Everyone is just excited and happy for me,  which is lovely but the touching is just too much.

You would never touch someone on their tummy that wasn't pregnant. It's just not okay. Similarly, it seems to socially acceptable for people to say things like: "Let's have a look at you" and blatantly look at your tummy. The other day at work someone commented they thought it looked like the bump was getting bigger. The next thing someone from the back of the room said: "Let's see!" and the whole room turned to scrutinise my shape. It's like your are suddenly fair game for people to comment on, as if you're not an actual person. And the bump that they all saw got waved away with: "That's nothing, that's not a bump." Right, okay, thanks for that. I'll just go back to feeling like a total frump then.

And breathe - I just had to get that out my system. I'm being over sensitive, that combined with my usual tolerance level of zero is making me extremely short tempered.

Despite all that I am feeling really positive and excited. Our kitchen renovations have romped on apace this week - the worktop is in and half the tiling is done! Tomorrow the hob and the sink get plumbed in  - I will no longer have to cook and wash up in the spare bedroom! Whooo Hoooo!

Thursday, 15 January 2015

Ranty pants

I am SO glad the new year is here and some of my most favourite bloggers have been inspired to get back into sharing their plans, thoughts and goals.

This is the reason why I started blogging, as a way of sorting through my thoughts and to keep me mindful about healthy eating and exercise. Those are the kind of blogs I love to read and find inspiring. I've been lucky enough to follow some people for years and keeping up with their lives means a lot to me and I love reading about what's going on. To get that kind of peek into someone's life is a privilege and I often think about these ladies when I'm going about my day-to-day.

What I don't love is opening up my blog reader and seeing post after post which quite frankly, bore me to tears. For example...
  • What's in my handbag
  • Make-up reviews
  • Holiday posts
  • Weekend away/places to visit posts
  • Product reviews
  • How to...
Boring with a capital B. It used to be you couldn't move for blogs that were about actual people's feelings and insights in their lives. Now it's all tutorials and consumerism. I'm a 34 year old woman, who could not care less about what is in your chuffing handbag. Does anyone? At ALL?

And paid for product reviews? Okay, do it once or twice with something relevant to your blog, but not once a week. If I wanted to read an advertorial I would buy a magazine.

It's my own fault though, I'm following these blogs. I think it's time for a refresh. If there are any good blogs out there that you reckon I should take a swatch at, please do let me know.

Monday, 12 January 2015

Packing it on and in

It's been another weekend of DIY delights. As well as sanding down and filling this door, I've painted radiators, painted walls, wielded pollyfilla and done a load of general house snash. You know, the usual washing, hoovering blah blah blah.

We're now in the fiddly job stage which I hate. Kitchen units going in makes a big difference quickly. Prepping this door for painting took flippin ages and there ain't much difference to see. It WILL look superb when it's done but right now - dullzzzzzz.

This was all broken up by going out for dinner with friends. I find that if I drink a small glass of red wine really quickly it feels amazing! The excitement. My liver must be loving me right now. 5 months off the booze... it must wonder what the hell is going on.

I saw my PT on Thursday for the first time in about two and a half weeks. I'm still finding it no problem at all to do everything. The workout isn't hard mind you. 10 mins on the x-trainer, a series of weights (split squats, leg presses, triceps, shoulders) and then various strengthening work (bridges/dead bugs). I was really keen to see him though as my lower back is really beginning to hurt. When I was at my fattest I used to have a sore lower back quite often - well here it is again! Last week when I spent two days sitting at my desk it was pigging agony and I had to do some stretches in in the stationery cupboard! So I've got exercises to do at home. I NEED to make sure I do them as I've got another four months to go  - and by that time I will be huge so it'll be sore even when I do have the baby!

I've sort of been weighing myself most weeks and things are naturally on the up, but they aren't as bad as they could be! Pre-christmas I was about 13stone 12. After Christmas I was 14 stone 2. 4lbs on in two weeks is pretty good going - especially as it's about a pound a week you're recommended to gain at this stage. This week I've pretty much stayed the same. I'm happy with that.

I'm really only working out about once a week though, and I'd like to up that. Even twice would be good. I've been stuck waiting in for various tradesmen and deliveries last week and today - and the evenings are spent on the house. Excuses though - maybe I could venture for a swim tomorrow straight after work...

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

2014 - What a belter

Well here we are, a new year. Another, new year. Isn’t time a funny thing. It can seem so far away… next month, next year, five years away. And then… it’s here. A place we could barely imagine is suddenly our reality.

I can remember so clearly a conversation I had with TB back in 2011, about marriage and babies and the thought that I would probably be waiting until I was 34 for those things to happen seemed forever away. But here we are, in no time at all – and I have everything I could hope for.

2014 was a pretty big year for me and because of so many wonderful moments, it does seem like it was quite a long year.

Safe to say this was one of the two biggest events of my whole life! Organising and planning our wedding was definitely hard work at times and there were several occasions where I would have gladly punched various people, but the end result was a weekend that was more than I could ever have hoped for. From the relaxed ceremony filled with laughter and tears, to the hilarious speeches and a dress that I am still in love with, I could not have asked for more.

But that was the wedding. The marriage? Well, the marriage kicks the wedding into a cocked hat. We’re almost 9 months into our first year and whoever said the first year is the hardest is the hardest, must have been in a shitty marriage. Our first year is amazing. If it’s possible I love him even more and every day I can’t wait for the end of the working day so I can see him. I am so lucky and so excited to spend the rest of our lives together.  You may now be sick.

I’ve had a good year workwise – on par with my best yet and say I that purely relating to fiscal matters. As a freelancer it’s mostly all about the money. I really enjoy what I do but one eye is always on the bank account. You see there is also the small matter of maternity pay, or lack of. As I am self employed I only get government statutory. I’ve always known this so over the past 18 months (yeah, I was erring on the side of caution) I’ve been saving like a maddie so I will be able to take a good six – nine months off when the baby comes.

Fitness and Body Image
I could write an essay on this one topic. Overall, I have felt amazing this year. Size 14 jeans and running a 10k in 1 hour. Hoo Ha! I am so proud of myself and my dedication which saw me feel and look the best I think I have ever. For once I felt good about myself all the time. Getting dressed to go to any event no longer filled me with dread about what to wear. Being slimmer and fitter made me feel more confident and I was more relaxed about things as a result.

I also loved the challenge of getting there. No, not the weeks when I was faced with temptation and scoffed a load of naughties, but the weeks when I forced myself to run longer, faster and as a result I could say “I just ran 4 miles”, which made me feel invincible. I promised myself I would run a 10k before my wedding and I did. Forget the time it took me;  I love that I made up my mind I would do it – and I did.

I’ve ended the year in a totally different place. Being pregnant has affected me more than I thought it would. I thought I could keep up the exercise regime and really stay on top of things. Yes, I’m still exercising and plan to for as long as possible (albeit it just one or two times a week) but my body is changing and I need to adapt to that in a more drastic way than I thought I would have to.  I’ve definitely not been as strict with my eating as I should have been and over the last few months I’ve been very good to myself. Anything I’ve wanted, I’ve had. I learned a lot this year though – mostly that I can be consistent with my eating and I do eat a very healthy diet. I’m looking forward to getting into that groove again – which has already begun to happen this year.

Ever since the first time we went to view our house, we knew doing the kitchen up was a must. Nothing to do with style but the state of the manky, 30 year old pine cabinets. But not only did we decide to do it up, we’ve knocked a wall down through  to the dining room and created a super amazing dining/kitchen space. WE (but mostly TB) have been working hard on it he’s almost finished putting the cabinets in! I am beyond excited for it to be finished as not only will it look SO good,  I won’t have to wash the dishes in a basin in the spare bedroom anymore. Hello dishwasher!

As soon as we finish the kitchen it’s all systems go with our bedroom – which only has 1/3 of a laminate floor thanks to sorting kitchen electrics from above. Won’t be sorry to have that replaced though!

I’m really lucky to have many wonderful, female friends and I was lucky enough to see a lot of them over not just the festive period but throughout the year, what with my hen do and the wedding. But it struck me the other day when catching up with one of my closest friends that I now only see a couple of times a year (whereas we used to live in each other’s pockets) I miss having a close friend that lives near me. I’ve got a packed social life and I can’t fit all my friends in as it is, but sometimes, when you’ve got an hour – you just wanna pop over to  your pal’s and have a right good chin wag.  God, I want it all, don’t I?

Hand in hand with getting married, the best thing to happen to me in 2014, is getting pregnant. I am getting so excited for it and I can't wait until we get to meet our baby. But I am also not excited for people trying to touch my bump - which is still pretty small and jiggles like any normal tummy. I am also more than happy to have time to crack on with all the DIY and decorating! 

Over the past few weeks I've been feeling it move all the time which is kinda weird, but exciting! Last night TB managed to feel it kick for himself, following instructions from me to 'push your fingers in here, harder!'

Let’s finish with some pics from the last few weeks.