Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Weigh in

What the frick? That's three weeks in a row. THREE WEEKS, people, that I have put on weight.

You might expect me to be tearing my hair out or at least chopping off a limb (a sure fire way to lose a pound or two) but I'm actually quite calm. I did only put on a quarter or a pound but that's not the point - the numbers are going the wrong way. I don't know if I'm calm because this whole situation is so ridiculous that I have gone to another place in my mind (I think that's called crazy town) or if it's simply because nothing surprises me when it comes to this losing weight malarkey.

I know I went a bit mental with the cakes at the weekend but I know how much I ate - and considering how much exercise I've done, I know that's not enough to justify what is going on. If I ever am in a place where I need to maintain (at this rate - NEVER going to happen) I would like to think I wouldn't have to knock my pan in five times a week at the gym. That's what I just did  - and I gained!

The only hope I have is that the numbers were skewed by my period which is on the cusp of arrival (welcome home TB who has gets home tomorrow after a week away) and I am feeling especially bloated and big boobed.

Bloating or no bloating, what am I going to do. Well, um - at the risk of repeating myself, I'm going to carry on trying. After weigh in this morning I went to the gym and then had fruit for breakfast. It's business as usual. I'm going to have a great week (NO CAKES even if they are instead of lunch or dinner) and carry on.

Starting Weight: 183 pounds
Current Weight: 179.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: plus 0.25lbs
Total 2012 Weight Loss: 3.75lbs

I've decided I'm not going to bang on about exercise and all that malarkey too much and make sure I'm blogging about the fun things in life too. It's a huge part of my life but I'm not about to let it take over. I've been inspired by the gorgeous Linzerello who has started a new blog about her outfits and rockin style (you can check it out here.) to make more of an effort. And without further ado - here we go.

I've been wearing this dress for a couple of years now. It's a Primark number and has a lovely scoop neck at the back too. It's a bit big now as it always falls off my shoulder but a cardi, or jacket fixes that. I just bought the jacket the other day. It's a touch too short for jeans without a longer layer underneath but perfect to smarten up a dress. I was just off to a meeting so popped it onto sharpen the whole thing up.

Dress: Primark (£16.99 I think)
Belt: Can't remember
Jacket: H&M (14.99)
Leggings: H&M (£3.99)

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Trash talk

So when I titled my last post "Can't Stop" little did I know that it was a prediction. Once I started, I couldn't stop eating my own cakes!

Here is how they looked all on display...

And then do you know what this is? That's the left over cakes thrown in the bin, taken out of the bin, put in the sink and covered in washing up liquid and water.

Yes, I took the bag of cakes out of the bin and started eating them. It happened. I ate pretty much a whole cupcake before I stopped myself. I knew the only way to make sure I didn't eat any more was to make them inedible. I know that might sound drastic to many people, but those are the kind of people who don't get it. They don't have this... thing, this fucked up relationship with food. 
So who knows what will happen on the scales tomorrow morning. Yet again I've exercised loads and my meals have been great, but I've let myself down over the weekend and last with picking inbetween. Not enough that I would expect a gain from it though. My period is due and my boobs are like two water balloons so that's going to help matters, I'm sure. Quite frankly if I put on weight again tomorrow I won't be surprised. I'll be furious, but not surprised.

Just to recap - here is the exercise for the week. It's not as if I'm slacking!

Wednesday: Gym workout. With sprints. 70 mins
Thursday: 8 mile cycle. 45 min Boxercise Class
Friday: Nothing
Saturday: Nothing
Sunday: Gym workout 70 minutes
Monday: 30 mins spinning. 10 mins running intervals
Tuesday: Some new bootcamp class

Friday, 24 February 2012

Can't stop

Just wanted to check in and say... look at my amazing cakes! 
 Kthanksbye. x

Thursday, 23 February 2012

The icing on the cake

This is day two of 'no nonsense'.

Which really just means being in tune with myself. Eating what I know I should eat, rather than what I feel like or I 'think' is okay. It's not a million miles away from where I was before but it kinda feels right being more strict. I do love a boundary!

On the exercise front I want to make sure that I come away from every workout feeling like I have pushed myself further than before. I don't want to feel comfortable. That doesn't mean beasting myself for an hour (although that is what I do!). It more like making sure I'm not just going through the motions of the same beasting workout. For example, I swapped my last 10 minutes of spinning for 10 minutes of sprint intervals. They totally killed me  - I was panting like a rabid dog! That's what I'm talking about.

My challenge for this week is about to descend though. It's TB's mum's birthday party and I just called her. Hang on while I digress.... I just called Mummy TB on the phone! That was a milestone. It's her birthday party tomorrow night and even though TB is away with work and can't go, I'm still gonna go along. I thought it might be a bit odd going without him but his cousins and other people I've met before are going and so I think it would be weird if I didn't show up.

It was a bit funny calling her for the first time. When she answered the phone I said "Hi, it's Love Cat." And I was all ready to follow up with "TB's girlfriend". Luckily I didn't need to! She is just so lovely and I'm heading down to her house tomorrow after lunch to help her and Daddy TB set up for the party - just the 3 of us! I am really close to my family and I love the fact TB is with his family too. They have been so good to me and I'm very lucky.

Anyway... the upshot of the call today is that I am about to make and decorate 50 cupcakes to take to the party. Buttercream icing - now there is a challenge. Must get repeating my mantra of 'mindful, mindful, mindful'.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Weigh in

Another week. Another weigh in. Another gain.

1.25lbs on. Well done me.

As you can imagine I am not exactly enamoured by this turn of events. I started a post all about the injustice of it all. About all my hard work in the gym, at boxercise, on the bike, this past week. But I stopped. It's not fair. That is true, but bleating on about it isn't going to change the fact the numbers are going up.

So what am I going to do. Well, realistically - what else is there to do, apart from keep on keeping on. I'm not about to give up, nor am I about to get radical. I'm going to get my head down for another week, doing what I usually do - but with a few small changes.

Admittedly there were quite a few slip up and hand to mouth movements that shouldn't have occurred over the past week. Not 1.25lbs worth, certainly , but none the less, they were there. I need to stop that. From now on there will be no sneaky crackers, no handfuls of crisps, no chocs.
TB jetted off with work this morning and will probably be gone for around a week. I'm going to use that week to get back to eating meals that I know are winners. Smaller portions, protein, fewer carbs. More fruit. I'm also going to a new spinning class and a new boot camp class.

On the positive side - I feel pretty good. The waist of my jeans are really loose, I'm feeling pretty toned around my shoulders, arms and lower legs. I am definitely no bigger. I need to adopt the winning mentality of a winner and focus on my victories. I will not let negativity see me slide back into the 13 stone range.

Starting Weight: 183 pounds
Current Weight: 179.25 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: plus 1.25lbs
Total 2012 Weight Loss: 4lbs

Monday, 20 February 2012

Costal Capers

Inspired by the lovely Lesley over at Live to Slim I took some pictures on Saturday when TB and I were scrambling about over some big boulders when we took a walk along the coast. Well, we walked for about 10 minutes on the way there and 10 minutes on the way back. The rest of the time jumping from one rock to another.

You can spot TB his wee red jumper.  It was actually pretty hard work. Lots of lunging and hauling yourself up onto wee ledges. It's times like that I'm so thankful I'm not lugging around a couple of extra stone while I try and enjoy myself.

So the exercise is still going brilliantly - as is my ability to dive head first into the biscuit tin. Yesterday was not a good day. I may also have some confessions involving garlic bread, mini eggs, a corneto and some moam sweeties. I just hope that all my gym work and other healthy choices can save the (weigh in) day.

Friday, 17 February 2012

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

With jammin! Just a wee Friday jape for you there. One of my personal faves too.

And why am I wittering on about jam? Cause I made some more- of course. My jams and preserves book has come up trumps once again and this time it's with banana jam. Not strictly a jam, this bad boy is addictive. All it is, is bananas, sugar and a little bit of lemon juice - all boiled up together then papped in some jars. It maybe doesn't sound that amazing but if, like me you love bananas and anything banana flavoured (think banoffee pie, banana bread, banana milkshake - can you see why I'm overweight?) then this is the jam for you.

I think I'm going to have to start calling it a sauce as it's just so sweet and delicious that I don't think calling it a jam is fair. When I was making it I was constantly liking at the jelly pan (my big pot that I boil it up in) and now that it's in jars - I cannot stay away. I had some yesterday on toast (a little post brekkie snack  - oops!) and it is just too good. What I'd really like to do with it is warm it slightly and have it over vanilla ice cream, with some toffee sauce.  It's pretty much just like a pudding in jar.

I couldn't get that middle picture to turn the right way round - but you get the sugary, sweet gist.

In other diet and exercise news... thing are going well. Not 100%, but well. Exercising is the bomb. I cycled to boxercise yesterday so that was a nice 8 mile round trip and it definitely was easier than when I last did it 2 weeks ago - even though the ride home was after some horrendous Russian twists and it was chucking it down big style.

My eating is a bit ropey though. Meals are fine. Great, in fact. It's the handful of crisps, the 6 boiled sweets a day, the wasabi peas, the cracker with banana jam.... just all those little sneaky extras that are throwing things off course. If I had lost weight on Wednesday I am sure my head would be more in the game but I know I don't quite have that laser focus that I need to have.

Today is only Friday though and I've got plenty of time to get a grip and really tighten things up. A few small changes could make a big difference and it's only me that can make them. C'mon woman. Don't let yourself down.

A quiet weekend likes ahead with hopefully a nice walk somewhere. Have a lovely one, where ever you are. x

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Weigh in

The morning got off to a shaky start. I couldn't find any clean socks for the gym, I broke a nail, TB's trousers split (although that was highly amusing), we were late leaving the flat and the scales and I had an almighty fall out (the reason for being late).

Last week I was 12stone 8.25. I got on this morning and was faced with 12. 9.75.  Not happy. In fact, raging. I usually step on and off around 10 times, recording each weight as they can vary by a pound or so, so I always go with the most common number. The readings (just the pounds) then went like this; 10.25; 9; 10; 11; 13 STONE! What? So annoyed I can't actually put it into words. 

The entire thing was a total farce. I have no idea what I weigh and I do not get what the hell was going on. Suffice to say that what I do know is that I have put weight on. For the sake of having a number to give me an idea of where I am I've gone with 12stone 9.75lbs - a gain of 1.5lbs. It doesn't really matter though - as the whole thing was a total joke.

I'm confused as to how I've put weight on. I know what kind of week I've had and a weight gain is not justified. I may be heavier but there is no way I am bigger. The scales can have their little hissy fit; I know that the numbers are not a reality that I am going to worry about (once I have finished ranting). I've been here before and it's bigger picture time. I'll keep on keeping on. And maybe this is an opportunity to look at where I could make improvements. That handful of crisps each day- that needs to stop. The portion sizes, are they too big? A choc ice three times a week isn't really on.  So it's heads down and let's see what next week brings.

Even though weigh in has been and gone for this week here is my weekly workout chat. It's very gym heavy as I missed boxercise and I was late to my spin class thanks to heavy traffic so just did 30 mins on my own.
  • Wednesday: Gym workout. 65 minutes
  • Thursday: Gym workout 60 minutes
  • Friday: Gym workout 70 minutes
  • Saturday: nothing
  • Sunday: nothing
  • Monday: Gym workout 65 minutes (increased t-mill speed)
  • Tuesday: 30 mins spinning
Thanks for the work comments on my last post. I'd love to do part time freelancing and part time secure employment but my industry isn't quite like that. It's kinda all or nothing. I think I'm going to put my CV into a  recruitment agency that deals only with my sector and see what that brings. No firm decisions but I'm just testing the water.

Starting Weight: 183 pounds
Current Weight: 177.75 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: plus 1.25lbs
Total 2012 Weight Loss: 5.5lbs

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Working 9 - 5

How many people wish they were their own boss? How many wish they could work from home? How many want to chose who their clients are and who they work for?

Tick, tick and tick. All those things apply to me. I've got it pretty good, right?  I'm very lucky. I'm a sort of freelancer who works from home - offering a service to various different clients (no, I'm not  a prostitute). I've worked for various different agencies but about two and half years ago I decided I had enough working for a total dick head and decided to go it alone. I was gonna cut out the middle man and take all the spoils for myself! I'd be working from home so there would be very few overheads and I'd be living the flexible lifestyle that so many desire. It was the perfect plan.

And it has been so good - mostly. I really like my job and I'm pretty good at it. I love the fact that my decision is final. I have total autonomy and I don't have to pander to someone senior that I don't agree with. If I'm approached to do work for a company that I don't like/understand/agree with - I don't take on the work. Simple as that.

I work when I want to work. Okay - the work has to get done but if I want to take three hours for lunch, and I've got the time - then I do it. If I want a cheeky afternoon off? Why the hell not!

I think the flexibility has to be one of the best things about working for myself. It's meant I've been able to see more of friends that are on maternity leave, see more of my family as I can meet my mum and gran for lunch if we are all free. It's also been a huge plus point for TB and I. Living two and a half hours apart for the first year of our relationship was tough at the best of times but the fact I could head to his on a Thursday night, work from his flat on a Friday and then head home on a Monday morning - was fantastic.

And being master of my own schedule has undoubtedly played significant role in my weight loss success. It's given me the time that I've needed to make it a priority. Yeah, I work out five times a week - for at least an hour at a time - but that's because I've got the time to do it. I don't have a commute, I don't have pointless internal meetings, I don't have to be at my desk 9-5. I have extra time - and I am so thankful that I did.

So what's the problem? Well, there are two big problems. Firstly, working alone. I love it but as soon as I am back in an office environment I realise how much I miss it. I love being part of a team. And I like being around people. Being on your own all day long, most days, is not good for you. You think you're okay. You convince yourself that you like it. And while it's okay some of the time, it's not good all of the time.

The second problem? Money. Of course. Most months I earn quite good money but all it takes is a couple of months hard going and it ruins me for the rest of the year. I'm just about to come to my financial year end and I earned less than last year. I'm going backwards. This is not good. I have a credit card bill that doesn't seem to be getting any smaller. I am constantly watching the pennies and hardly spending any money on myself. I am almost 32 years old, this is no way to live my life.

I think I'm going to have to get a job.

Monday, 13 February 2012

Weigh in

This post is called 'Weigh in' but that's only because I've yet to tell you about last week's weigh in, not cause that is all I'll be bleating on about. I know... you're excited.

First up - I know my posts have been, well - totally non existent. There is a reason and it's not that I've been too busy holding cream cakes in my hands to type. Very long story short; my car broke down a week ago - when I was over 100 miles from home. Luckily I was in my old city and I got towed to garage I used to go to. My car took a few days to fix and without boring you with the details about me bunking over at friends and getting the train to meetings in other cities and ending up getting the train home from a totally different city- the upshot is I was sans laptop for most of last week as I left it at my friend's while I was schlepping about to different meetings.

I used TB's mac for work but I don't want to blog all over his computer - especially when this bad boy is meant to be on the down low. Well, he knows I blog but it's not for his eyes.  I did tap out a mammoth update when I was on the train back to pick my car up (hello 2.5 hours and £25 later, grrrr) but blogpress on my iphone appears to be a complete piece of shit and it lost the whole thing. Refer to my post on Saturday. I may also have mouthed off on twitter (@_love_cat) about that too. Mucho sorry for the potty mouth (well, not really. I bloody love to swear!).

So I've got various juicy topics I want to cover off and share with you all but I feel like this housekeeping post is necessary. To this end, here is the general health and diet chit chat from the past week. Let's start with the weigh in.

2.75lbs off. Booo YA! I am so happy about this. I worked really hard last week and didn't drink or have a pudding when out with a big group of gal pals at the weekend. I feel it is deserved and I can feel a difference in my clothes. In fact  - without clothes, I can see a difference. This means I am back to 12stone 8.25lbs. That is exactly 2 stone lost since my heaviest last year and I'm just 3/4 of a pound off my lightest ever. I am very excited and the thought of getting into fresh fat is really great.

Exercise was a bit limited last week as I missed spinning because I was still away from home. I also missed boxercise as I forgot I didn't have a car to get there and while I'm well up for the 8 mile round trip on my bike - it was too wet. Instead I went to the gym and just kind went a bit mad. I'm fearful of doing the same thing too much, and my body getting used to it so I just picked something and did it. Some kettle bells, some rowing (ugh), some upper body free weights, some spinning. Nice. And very sweaty. I must be careful actually, that I wear my slightly padded sports bra with certain t-shirts. Nipple alert!

The other exciting development from last week is that TB is heading away with work for 10 days or so. This could potentially be a very big part of his job in the future - and more than likely he will be away for up to three weeks at a time. That's all good and well but not only does it mean you don't see each other - but when he's away he isn't able to use his phone. He will have Internet access but 3 weeks without speaking is not really ideal. I know he's excited about it though as it's all really good for his career so overall - it's good news. It just means that I need to get my finger out and get my own groove on the go in my new city. This weekend I'm gonna get on top of lots of organisational jobs that I need to sort out and it also means another weekend without too many temptations of the buttery, boozy, sugary, bready, delicious type. 

Starting Weight: 183 pounds
Current Weight: 176.2.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 2.75lbs
Total 2012 Weight Loss: 6.75bs

Saturday, 11 February 2012

No no NO

I have just written a massive post. And the stupid blogpress app has lost it!

So angry.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone. It's magic!

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Weigh in

I weigh myself in the morning, post pee and totally starkers. I think TB was highly confused (or maybe amused?) when he blearily eyed stumbled past the kitchen this morning and saw me standing dead still and as if I had a poker up my arse.

I'm quite successfully getting into the habit of going to work with TB, 3 mornings a week as I get a lift along the road to my gym. It means I get up early and am at my desk for 9.30am - workout done, smug face on. It does mean I have to get up at 6.55am though. Ugh. Do not like. It also means that weigh in is occurring terribly early. I'm much more a fan of a 9am weigh in. I just feel that an extra couple hours must mean that your body has had longer to process anything you consumed the night before - if you know what I mean.

This is all a very long pre-amble to the most lovely news that I lost 1.5lbs this morning. Yay! I am pretty happy with that and am now 12stone 11lbs. Last week was a blip and I am still on course to have an amazing year. I mean, I'm only 3 and a half pounds away from my lowest ever - and 2 and 3/4 away from the two stone mark (lost since March last year).

I'm exercising lots right now but I'm feeling strong and like I did when I was totally on my game last summer. If I can have a week like this one but with a few tweaks here and there I'd love to lose the same again next week.

Although TB asked me what I was doing this morning when faced with a very naked me standing in the kitchen like a total weirdo, he didn't actually ask what the outcome was. I like that. A lot. He doesn't really care - which feels so good. I did push him once into admitting that he fancied the thinner me more. I think that's pretty obvious though. I also think he's trying to be a bit more healthy - which is quite a surprise. He revealed that for the past few weeks he's been walking for half an hour at lunchtime. He also plays badminton for two hours on a Thursday and tonight he's back to five-a-side. I'll have to watch out; I'm feeling him healthy meals and I bet he starts to lose weigh and faster than me!

This is totally unrelated but I wanted to share my joy that Sheryl Yvette replied to one of my tweets! It was totally inane, but she replied!

 Also, it's really cold today and so the fire has been on. Look at the size of this brute, surrounded by toy mice.