Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Come home Dave

I actually cannot think straight. 18 days to the wedding and...
  • I am on the verge of totally losing the plot food-wise. I want to eat. Lots. And have done on several occasions.
  • Dave the Cat went missing at 8pm last night and hasn't been seen since. I'm beside myself.
  • The best man has shingles.
  • I bought and can fit into a size 14 pair of jeans.
  • I've had two dreams about the wedding and me not being dressed in time/missing the whole thing.
  • I have a mega proposal to write and then 100 miles to travel to present it; before going away Thurs - Monday.
  • My wedding shoes are too tight. I  seem to be unable to order shoe stretch spray and have it delivered to my house. This is stressing me out.
  • The house is a tip
  • I wanted to try and run a sub-hour 10k before the wedding - THERE IS NO TIME.
  • I am stuck for ideas what to get for my bridesmaids that isn't jewellery.
  • I don't know if I'm sure about our first dance song.
  • If it rains the wedding will not be as good as it could be if it was sunny - compulsive long range weather forecast checking is not helping.

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Several thousand words

This is it. This is the run up - the real period of excitement before the wedding. 

Holy crap. How did this happen so quickly! TB and I are now, pretty much doing little else except wedding planning. Well, not so much planning - we are doing. The time for long winded discussions is past - it is time to buy that card, order those tables, stock pile that booze, make those place-names and pay that money. Oooohhhhohhhhhh- the money. Let's just not even. 

Since the wedding meltdown (which I have yet to tell you about) I am feeling a lot calmer and a lot more excited! It does help that the list is being ticked off at a rate of knots. In between that I am feeling mostly normal with a side portion of intense emotion. Almost just had a wee cry at my desk when my colleague said: "What's lovely is that everyone there on your wedding day is so happy for you.". I cannot take this! Too much, too much.

I can't even remember what actually happened over the long weekend (there is no room in my brain) so instead here is a selection of pics from my phone.


*Dave in the back garden eying up a birdie
*Poached eggs for brunch
*Sorting material for bales to sit on at the wedding
* Tomato, lettuce and coriander from the neighbour
*Wedding signs and barrels prepped for holding booze
*Our local junk yard. Acres of total rubbish
*More wedding signs
*Total change of heart about the jar decoration to this version
*Photo frames for our table plan
*Freshly cut grass and the first barbecue of the year

Thursday, 17 April 2014

Weigh in and MIA

Hallloooooo Blogland!

I've not posted for two weeks. Two whole weeks! Apart from the fact I am mega busy, the reason is... I just couldn't be bothered. Lame, right? I just kinda lost my mojo. I've hardly been tweeting either. Nothing is wrong and there hasn't been one incident that stopped me, it just seemed like a hassle.

And the more time that passes, there is so much that I'd love to share but then it's like when you've not spoken to a friend in ages and you think, "Where do I start?". In particular, I'd like to talk about my wedding meltdown (boy, that was fun), my hen do (that WAS fun), green smoothies, running personal bests and of course - weigh ins. Today was indeed a weigh in day and that's what's given me the impotus to get my finger out and get back in the groove (which I have missed).

Last week was my post hen weigh in. As you can imagine I drank a LOT over the weekend. A lot of prosseco and other fizzyness - which isn't normally my bag. I ate more than normal but I didn't really have that much. Until... I came home on the Sunday armed with leftover cake, much of which was cake I had made and it was seriously heavy on the buttercream (I love you buttercream - run away with me!). I got home and that's when the eating of cake really began in earnest. Oh dear. So come weigh day it wasn't that much of a shock to see a gain of 2.25lbs. In fact, it could have been a lot worse. That took me back up to 12 stone 2.5lbs.

Although I was fully informed about the gain i.e. it was for a good, cake eating reason, I think it affected me more than I realised. There were lots of pics taken over the hen weekend and of course, as soon as I got home on the Sunday I got right in about some self-scrutinising. A bit of self stalking, if you will. What do I look like from that angle. My legs look thin there. I look small compared to x person. I look big compared to x person. Those jeans aren't as flattering as I thought. Where have my boobs gone. And so on....

And as the week went on and more pics appeared on Facebook, it continued. As I looked at the pics I mostly thought to myself, wow - you look so thin! Amazing! I was bloody chuffed. But it was as if I was looking back at an old me. I can see the pictures and I know it's me but when I am present in the moment, like right now, I look down at myself and I don't see that person. My internal self, the right now me doesn't realised what I look like unless I am looking in on myself outwith the moment. Does that make sense?

Sort of validating that feeling was the voice in my head saying "of  course you don't look like that. You were over 2 pounds lighter in those pics. You'll never look like that again now that you've put on weight this week."

WTF? How messed up is that, but it's true. I am finding it hard to live in the moment, appreciate where I am and enjoy it. As of right now I am going to make the effort to do just that. Let's stop and smell the roses, people!

So that was last week's weigh in. This week, I was mostly very good but Sunday was not good at all (chocolate and biscuits, ooh err) and thanks to running around to the dentist, wedding dress fittings, nephew cuddles and granny chats, I also missed two workouts - spinning and a gym workout followed by intervals.

Based on this I was not confident this morning. However, the scales were very kind to me...2.5lbs off! That means I am 12stone BANG ON. I actually saw 11stone 13.75 flash up but it was fleeting and 12stone quickly took its place. I'm bloody happy with 2.5 off though so I will take 12stone and I will do a small dance of joy about it. Yippeeee!

2014 Starting Weight: 12 stone 9.25lbs
Current Weight: 12 stone 0lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 2.5lbs
Total 2014 Weight Loss: 9.25lbs

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Weigh in

A quarter of a pound off. It may be the smallest loss possible (on my scales) but it's a loss! So that's me 12stone and a quarter of a pound. Oh man, those 11's are so close I can smell them - and they smell like warm caramel!

I'd LOVE to get there for next week as it would mean I'd hit the 11's for my last wedding dress fitting. I have to confess I'm not hopeful as I plan to drink a shitload of booze this weekend as I get my send off from my hens! Wheeeeee!

Exercise this week comprised:

  • Thursday: Spinning. PT workout
  • Friday: Gym workout and 20 mins of intervals
  • Sunday: 1 hour of racketball
  • Monday: 5km run (fast)
  • Wednesday 5km run (fast
In general I am feeling goo-oooood! Apart from the fact I bought a 34 B bra and it fits (with even a little room!) my size 16 jeans are all too baggy around the waist and top. I bought a couple of size 12 tops off the peg today and they all fit perfectly. So I'm just gonna keep on keeping on and enjoy life.

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Daylight Saving PB

The clocks have gone forward and what better way to make the most of the lighter evenings that being outside. I do enjoy me some outside time.

I'm not able to go swimming tonight as I'm meeting a friend to get a manicure (oh yeah,  living the life of Riley - and some dodgy green nail varnish destroyed my nails some months ago and they are still wrecked) so last night I made the decision to pop out for a quick run.

I got home from work, prepared some aubergine for roasting, popped it in the oven and then headed out for a 'quick' 5k.  When I say quick, I mean fast. Normally a run for me involves getting into a good rhythm and plodding away. Admittedly that plodding is getting slightly faster but last night I decided to really try and go for it. I threw myself around my little 5.17km circuit as quickly as I could go, hoping for not much more than 30mins. I did it in 29mins and 22 seconds! A new all time record - and it was outside with a few hills thrown in for good measure.

It felt good. Really good. What also feels good is this weekend it's.... my hen doo! I cannot actually believe it's actually here! I am actually getting married and I am having my very own hen do. I'm living the moments I day dreamed about for so long.

Unlike TB, who has been quite involved in planning his 4 day and 3 night extravaganza to Berlin (!) I only know that I've got a weekend in Scotland and I've to pack a swimming costume. That's it!  I don't know where it is or how I'm getting there!

*4.30pm sun
*Exhausted Dave
*Wedding sign making