Friday, 28 March 2014

Skinny love

Yesterday I had an interim health screening with my PT.

When I first met him in early Feb my body fat was measured as 40%. You may recall I was shocked and a little sceptical about this number.  Considering I was feeling pretty fit and the slimmest I had ever been, it seemed pretty high.

Well it is no longer 40%. It is now 33% Check that out! I've dropped 7% of body fat in 7 weeks! How good is that! I am so chuffed about it. It really does show that the scales are not to be trusted. I know I'm always going to place stock in what they say but that figure has really helped me to try and have a bit more perspective.  I must remember this next time they don't play ball.

So all in all, I'm feeling flipping fantastic. I was working out with the female personal trainer yesterday and I was talking about my fitness progress. As I said, "I'm really proud of myself", I could feel the words catching in my throat, and tears pricking at my eyes. Those words aren't flippant. They are not throwaway, I am proud of myself. God, emotions are running high!

Speaking of tears... we have our wedding reading! And it's thanks to Seren! Thank you so much, my love. After you suggested Invisible Kisses I read the poem. I loved it but when I watched the youTube clip of Lemin Sissay reciting it, I  couldn't hold back the tears. I knew it was the one. When TB got home I told him that I'd found our reading - our hours of searching were over. He read it, watched it... and agreed. Just like that! Thank you, thank you! I am so delighted with it.

Thursday, 27 March 2014

Weigh in

Someone phone Downing Street. Get Obama on the phone. Text Putin, for crying out loud. Something major has happened... I've lost weight two weeks running!


The last time this happened was mid January. I am cock-a-bloody-hoop. COCKAHOOP, I tell you.

Joy joy joy. Unadulterated joy. This morning I weighed in at 12stone 0.5lbs. I lost 1.25lbs! I definitely felt like I had lost this week but to have it show  up on the scales, for once, was an incredible feeling. Pow POW.

I've started having all bran for breakfast and I've tried to add more into my diet, more fruit and also some wholegrains here and there.  I might also have had a few squares of the fudge I made for my the office. Okay, I also had two squares of sticky stuff (sort of homemade rice krispy squares - think melted butter, toffee, syrup and marshmallows). But I'm down with that as...

Exercise wise, this week has been the opposite of last week. I think I've done more than ever. This is because I've played badminton twice as TB is getting right into playing as part his weight loss plan. He's lost almost a stone and a half! What is it with men and how easily they lose weight?! Not annoyingly straightforward for them at all! He looks so good though and I'm so proud of him. It even  looks like he's going to have to get his kilt taken in for the wedding. 

Here is the rundown:
  • Thursday: PT session and spinning
  • Friday: Gym workout with interval training
  • Sunday: 1 hour badminton singles
  • Monday: Nothing
  • Tuesday: Half hour swim
  • Wednesday: 5 mile run (new all time fast pace!). 1 hour badminton singles. 
It's pretty obvious what my goal is for next week. 11's. Ha! Feels weird (good weird) to be writing that. I could be in the 11 stones next week. Bonkers. 3/4 of a pound is what I need to lose to get me there. Sounds like nothing. It is most definitely something.

2014 Starting Weight: 12 stone 9.25lbs
Current Weight: 12 stone 0.5lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 1.25lbs
Total 2014 Weight Loss: 8.75lbs 

My fudge, some wedding dress lace and edging (wheee!), feeling slim in my usual workout attire.

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Cup runeth under

Boobs. They're great, aren't they. Who doesn't like boobs.

I've always been a boob lover. I used to go to my Granny's House every day for lunch when I was at primary school. I vividly remember reading The Sun everyday. I could not wait to check out page 3 and see what that day's boobs looked like. Would mine look like that? How big are mine going to be? And most importantly, when will I get them?!

My boobs could not come quick enough. I was so excited to get them. Especially as my mum has got a great set. Oh boy, was I in line for a right pair. Primary school finished and that summer, aged 11, I got my first bra - a AA cup from Marks and Spencer. Not that I had anything to put in them but c'mon, I was going up to the big school and crop tops were not going to cut it.

The months turned into years and before I knew it, I was 16 and sporting a full set of... B cups. That was all! A b cup! Where were my massive bajungas?! Despite sporting the same massive backside as my mother, I somehow had missed the boob gene she had been graced a plenty with! What the chuff? The b's didn't last too long though as aged 17, that's when I started to pile on the pounds. And the lard isn't fussy, it goes on all over so my B-cups soon became a C. And then a D. And then a DD. So great, I had bigger boobs. I also had bigger everything.

Then it all kinda happened in reverse. As I've lost weight over the past 8 years or so (Holy Crap - has it been that long I've been doing this?!), I've lost some great bras as they are just too big. To be honest, I was happy to get back down to a D cup, and a full C was just peachy. I thought to myself that the B cup I once sported (can you sport a boob size?) was just because I was so young. Wrong. All my bras are now too big. And no one likes a baggy bra.

Every time I glance down I can see my little baps nestling in my bra. Just resting in there like they are in a wee hammock. I don't think I'm quite a B cup but I'm not a kick in the shirt away from it! This is not ideal. Apart from the fact I no longer have any cleavage, I need to go and buy a whole load of new bras for my wee totties! And sports bras too. At least any boob I do have is grade A boob. I just hope it doesn't become A cup, boob.

PS) Thanks for all the wedding reading suggestions. The search continues...

Monday, 24 March 2014

Read it and weep

I really don't feel like blogging at this precise moment in time but purely to try and perk myself up, I am.

The client I alluded to my in last post continues to make my life difficult and some negative feedback has really got to me. An hour ago I felt great, really positive and now I've totally gone into myself and have zero motivation. I keep finding myself staring off into space.

It's horrible how one comment can really hit you hard and have such an impact. I talk a good game but I'm terrible at taking criticism. Hmmmm.

Anyway, it's done and I'm not going to think about it any more. Instead I'll talk about.... wedding readings. TB and I having two readings at our wedding.

As the whole weekend is going to be quite a DIY affair and we'll need a lot of bodies to help get things set up, TB is having five ushers - and a best man. We need bodies, we've got bodies! However, I am only having two bridesmaids. My oldest friend that I spent every school day with from the age of 5 to 17 and my best uni pal who I was on the same course as and lived with for 4 years. They are both still my best friends and I am so lucky to have such incredible women in my life. 

So when it came to choosing who would do our readings we ended up picking two friends that are more kinda on my side of the friends and family divide (not that there is a divide!). One is a best friend that if I had had more than two bridesmaids, would have been right up there. TB and I have holidayed with her plenty and she is doing a lighthearted humorous reading for us. The other is my sister in law. I love this girl so much. She is a peach. We're going to ask her to do a more poignant reading. The problem is, we can't find the right one!

I would love any suggestions anyone might have. We don't want (and can't have) anything religious (humanist ceremony). We don't want a rhyming poem. We don't want anything too long (or too short) or that has been done to death - I'm looking at you Velveteen Rabbit and Captain Corelli's Mandolin. We toyed with the idea of the lyrics to Chaka Kahn's Ain't Nobody. Trust me, it's amazing - Google it! I love it but I felt it wasn't quite emotive enough. At the moment the front runner is Edward Monkton's That Still and Settled Place. I feel like crying when I read it.

In that still and settled place
There's nobody but you
You're where I breath my oxygen
You're where I see my view
And when the world feels full of noise
My heart knows what to do
It finds that still and settled place
And dances there with you

Thursday, 20 March 2014

Weigh in

Crikey, I am SO blinking busy.

Too busy actually. So busy that all I've done is work, work and more work. This has meant that in the past week the only exercise I've done has been one PT session. That's it! One of my clients is being a total boot and because she has ignored set deadlines I am having to squash a whole lot of work into a very small time frame - so my life has not been my own for the past week.

On top of that I was helping at an event all weekend. Which was good in that I was active and pretty much on my feet for two whole days. But it's not exactly the equivalent of a run or even some swimming.

And then there was a bit of a chocolate incident on Monday. And on Tuesday. Let me explain... I was running  a sweet making activity at the weekend. I made 3 batches of fudge, 6 batches of sticky rice crispy squares, 6 batches of truffles and 3 loads of jelly sweeties. That meant I was surrounded by chocolate, butter, toffee and sugar. Oh, and condensed milk. Can you imagine?  CAN YOU?!. However, during this time, I exercised caution, so much caution. I had the odd mouthful of fudge and couple of bites of sticky squares all weekend - and that was it. Well done me!

But then, we got home with all the left over ingredients. Do I need to go on? Let's just say we're a couple of large bars of white chocolate down; down my pudding chute. With this in mind, and the lack of exercise, scale time was not an optimistic place to be this morning. How wrong I was. 12 stone 1.75lbs. Yeah, I KNOW. 2.25lbs off and into FF. What the hell?

I am confused. How is that I do less and eat more, but I lose weight. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's like some sort of black art. I talked it all through with my PT this morning and while I'm sure he knows his stuff, he's not actually got a real answer for anything. There was a lot of chat about body types, water retention (as I've increased my water considerably) but nothing it was all pile of vagueness.

I'm already mentally on to next week as I have no doubt whatsoever that the number will ping back up again. It might not be by much, but I bet it will. However, I'm back on the exercise wagon (PT and spinning today) and the the 100% healthy eating is in full flow so I'm going to do what I can to try and avoid it. 

There have been a couple moments in the past few days that have been a bit of a reality check. I was watching some vacuous programme on the telly and a fit LA type who clearly worked out and looked after themselves thought that working out 5 times a week was a lot. I work out five times a week. I suppose that is a lot, it dawned on me. What gets me is though, is that I don't look like most people who work out five days a week. Why is it such a serious fight to lose weight. So much effort, such tiny rewards.Which leads me on to the next 'ah....' moment.

I got the analysis back from my PT of the seven day food diary I did. So um, turns out Seren was right. For the amount of exercise I am doing, they don't think I am eating enough. Oh. Specifically more fibre, iron and potassium is needed. I rarely eat grains, pulses, pasta or bread. That needs to change. I've already swapped my melon for bran flakes. So I'll give it a bash, eating just a little more and more robust foods.

Lastly, when I was spouting forth about my shitty weight loss to my PT this morning, I said: "For crying out loud, in two and a half months I've only lost half a stone. Yes, I've upped my water and built muscle...." Oh yeah, I've lost at least half a stone of fat.

2014 Starting Weight: 12 stone 9.25lbs
Current Weight: 12 stone 1.75lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 2.25lbs
Total 2014 Weight Loss: 7.5lbs

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Weigh in

Thursday mornings are fast becoming my worst moment of the week. I spent the rest of the week being positive, upbeat and dedicated only to find I have put on weight, yet again. 3/4 of a pound on.

Hello 12stone 4lbs. Again.

What the actual chuff? What the hell is going on? I know there were a few things over the week that I shouldn't have had  - some wine, a few handfuls of crisps and nuts, 6 winegums and a dozen boiled sweets. But come on. Every meal was healthy balanced. Oh yeah, and I worked out, just a few times.
  • Hour of interval training
  • Spinning
  • Gym workout
  • Gym workout and 15 mins of intervals
  • 30 min swim
Some people work out a few times a week as it allows them to eat a lot more and indulge. I work out a lot, have a couple of tiny things and BAM - weight goes on. How is this possible? Let's not even talk about fair. I can't even go there.

The reality of the situation is that my last wedding dress fitting before I pick it up is (one hen weekend and) four weeks away.  Four weeks. I've got four weeks before this dress is altered for the last time. Now is not the time to falter. Now is not the time to drink wine and eat boiled sweets. If it takes me being 100% perfect to lose weight (in addition to working out like a demon) then now is the time to do just that. Four weeks of total perfection - here we go.

2014 Starting Weight: 12 stone 9.25lbs
Current Weight: 12 stone 4lbs
Weight Loss This Week: +0.75lbs
Total 2014 Weight Loss: 5.25lbs

PS) Thanks for the wedding advice. Baconsandwichgate sounds horrific! I'm actually a bit all over the place thinking about it today. Plan B continues to be an issue - bigger than I realised.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Wedding planning committe breaks bride

I am having a small FREAK OUT about the wedding.

The weekend started on a high note when I went to my dress fitting. It turns out I LOVE my dress. The veil is amazing and it's all just... flipping amazing. So happy. So so happy. Now that I've seen it without pins and it actually fits (although I feel a separate post about back fat is required - ugh) I am excited to wear it and I felt properly like a bride when I had it on.

Almost all the wedding invitations are out and I've been getting great feedback about them - this wedding train is a-rolling! Whoopppeee!

And then, TB went to view the wedding venue on Sunday with my parents, his parents, my brother and his wife (and my nephew!). It was a pretty tense affair. Decision by committee is not a good idea. Apart from the fact people kept asking me things which I had just that second explained and has to repeat all over again, there were a LOT of opinions flying about the place.

We have three plans for the wedding.  Plan A, it's dry and we get married outside. Plan B, it's not quite 100% dry but not definitely raining and we have a canopy shelter thing erected. Plan C, it's raining for sure and we use the marquee.

TB has an idea for a canopy thing we're going to erect for our Plan B. He explained it a little and my dad's face was a picture. A picture of  'No, that's never going to work.' So then TB ends up giving one word answers and I feel like I'm caught in the middle as everyone else starts piling in with their thoughts. Aaaaaargh! What do you do when you totally trust your dad's opinion which is that your future husband's idea won't work - but you also have total faith in him?! Rock, meet hard place.

I ended up snapping at people and getting generally annoyed with being questioned - and then questioned again, mostly by TB's dad who heard everything I said the first time and then asked me the same thing 3 actual seconds later! At one point I honestly thought he was joking as I had actually just explained something at length and then he asked me again! I even said: "Are you being funny?" Give me strength.

TB and I need to decide what we want and how we're going to make it work with the help of everyone around us (which we will need.) But the wedding is... less than 10 weeks away! My palms actually started sweating when I thought about that just there! We spent 3 hours last night trying to find a reading that we like - and we still didn't find it! We're both away this weekend and have friends visiting next weekend. Aeeeee- too much to do. I also need to stop reading wedding blogs - these women are not real and must have WAY too much time on their hands to paint old ladders and look out wedding pics of their parents and grandparents, which seems to be the thing to do! We will not be doing it.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Weigh in

Plain sailing and a down ward trend for more than a week was never going to happen, was it? Don't answer that.

3/4 of a pound on this morning. Ach, fine. The numbers are not playing ball and after last weeks tremendous loss, it's not really a shock. I know I'm doing all I can. I know I'm feeling great - and so onwards with the ping pong battle I shall go!

My PT sessions this morning was not enjoyable. It was pretty much an hour of 20 second full on sprints with 40 seconds recovery. Holy mamma - it was hard going. After the second time it feels like you're trying to run through toffee. Mmmm toffeee.

Then at lunchtime I went to spinning which was tough going as my legs felt pretty much like lead but I went and the week is off to a flying start. I actually had a bit of a 'moment' in the class. The music was pumping and for some reason I could feel my eyes pricking with tears. I was so close to properly having a wee cry and I had to really concentrate on shaking it off. Emotions, endorphins, hormones... who knows.

Okay, I must be off as tomorrow I'm out at about all day - gym, hair trial and wedding dress fitting (oh god, I hope I like what I asked for/they've made) and then we're having a family weekend at ours so I need to get changing beds and cooking so I'm not stuck in the kitchen the whole time. I'm about to rustle up:

  • Spicy sweet potato and chicken stew
  • Healthy cottage pie (cauliflower mash and with turkey mine)
  • Spinach, pea and pesto soup
  • Meatballs

Wednesday, 5 March 2014


Last night as I was getting changed into my cossie to go swimming I tried on a dress which I've never fitted into very well.

A pinstripe shift dress, at my slimmest it's always been just a little too tight around the bottom (quelle surprise). Last night, without tights, it went on - and with wiggle room to spare. Horay! Although the blessed thing is too big on the top now! What problems!

Inspired by this result, I rooted around at the back of the wardrobe and pulled out an outfit that I remember wearing when I felt the best I have ever felt. A red halterneck, wide legged catsuit. I wore this to my school Christmas Dance in 1996. I was 16 (yes, I peaked WAY too soon). I can't ever see me wearing this number ever again but that doesn't mean I don't want to fit into it!

I've tried it on a few times over the past few years and while I could get it one, there was no way I was getting it done up. Oh HELLO! On and done up in one fell swoop! Boooom! Yes, it's tight and realistically to be where I was when I wore at aged 16 I reckon I'd need to lose at least another half stone but holy crap... I'm wearing the the outfit I wore when I was half this age. Say WHAAAAAAAT?!

If you look ahead to the next six months after I wore it, I actually packed on quite a few pounds (oh hello study leave) and so right now, I'm rocking my 17 year old bod! Insane. Totally bonkers.

It's weigh in tomorrow but who cares what they are saying when the red dress (okay, it's a catsuit!) is telling a story of its own.

Finally, here's a quick exercise recap:
  • Thursday: PT session
  • Friday: Gym workout and 18 mins interval training
  • Monday: 5 mile run (at a new all time fast pace). 45 mins badminton
  • Tuesday: 30 minute swim

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Izzy Wizzy

Cripes, it's Tuesday already!

I feel super busy just now and not really on top of everything I'd like to be. I'm just too busy living a lovely little life - while also planning a wedding. So it's good busy but I just don't feel like I've stopped.

On Friday after a gym workout and 18 minutes of interval training (oh man - that is hard going) I jumped on the train to London where I was catching up with some of my closest friends. It was so good to see them all and have a right good catch up. I used to be really close to my friend, let's call her The Nun but after she moved south we didn't see each other very often. Somehow over two years has passed since I saw her last and now she's got two kids! We hung out for most of Saturday and it was brilliant. I get a nice warm feeling when think about it and how although so much has changed, we just picked up from where we left off.

Over the weekend I felt like I really paid attention to healthy eating and boy oh boy, was I on form? Yes. that's the answer to that question, yes I was! The only little dip that was unplanned was some Belvita biscuits on the train on the way home on Sunday and about a third of a chinese when I got home. I was starving, it was late at night - life happens. Based on the past five days, I would really hope (and expect) to see the scales go down. But as we all know, that means nothing!

Flying in the face of those pesky scales is how I feel (pretty damn good) and what my two friends who I last saw at Hogmanay said, when I arrived at their place on Friday night. Something along the lines of "Oh my God, you're so thin - you've lost even more weight!". Ha! That's just it, I've lost just a few pounds in that time, but 'something' appears to be working! 

In between the meal planning, exercise (badminton and a 5 miler yesterday) and oh yeah, working for a living... the wedding planning is really beginning to crank up. Last night we were up past midnight getting all the invitations for our day guests sorted. TB was carefully folding and inserting. I was scratching around trying to find everyone's addresses. I had them all for the save the dates but did I put them all in one place? No, that would be far too sensible. Instead I ended up having to rake through text messages, emails, two spreadsheets and a few written lists. But they are done! They day ones being franked by my dad in his office tomorrow and so in no time at all they will be in the hands of the guests! Heeheee! This is getting real. I get a funny feeling in my tummy now when I think about it. I get another kind of feeling when I think about all the other stuff we still have to do!

Next up on the list, evening invitations out, order the best man and ushers kilt jackets, a hair trial and another dress fitting this Friday!