Friday, 25 November 2011

Tired and Emotional

Moving home is emotional.
The past three nights have seen tears. It doesn't help that I'm totally knackered - working all day and then working late as I try to catch up since I've spent my day changing my address, getting insurance quotes, arranging a van hire, sorting leases and so on. I get home, eat something and then it's all systems go as I sand walls, pack boxes and sort all my stuff that has accumulated over the past 9 years.

I moved into my flat in 2002 when I was just 22. It was a bit of a hole and over the years I've spent a lot of time and quite a bit of money making it into the quirky home that it is today. I only expected to be there for a few years but the next thing I knew it was 9 years later and I was totally in love with it. With every cupboard that I unpack I find something that fills me with emotion. First of all there was my handmade 18th birthday card from my best friend, the one that has just had the baby. Then, there was the letter from my Granny M. She died two years ago and I've been thinking about her a lot recently. I even had a dream about her the other week. This wouldn't really be noteworthy but at the weekend my parents gave me some money- from her. My brother got some money when he got married and so this money was saved up for me for when I got married. Well, my wee granny passed away before I could get married and so she never got the chance to give it to me herself.

This is the same woman who bought the cheapest food and would never take a taxi anywhere, yet she saved up to make sure she could give her family whatever she could. That was an emotional moment at the weekend but when I found her letter which also had one of her own recipes... it just about sent me over the edge.

And I'm also arranging for my beloved pussy cat to stay with my brother and his wife for a month until we are ready to take him in our new place. This is upsetting me as I will miss him and I hope he's not too distressed and being carted around the country for hours at a time. Poor boy.

Moving has also taken over everything! Where have been my updates on diet and exercise? And what else is going on? Lots - and I've not had a moment to tell  you about it. It doesn't help that my laptop is away getting fixed and so I'm limited to using my phone in the evenings.  I have been reading your blogs but my commenting has been woeful. Sorry.

Okay - here is a quick weight update. Last time I checked in I had lost 2lbs and was 11.5 stone. That weekend I was helping TB's folks to move house (everyone is doing it, don'tcha know?) and it was takeaway city. Terrible terrible. I couldn't get it together after that and ended up gaining the following week. 1.25lbs on taking me to 12stone 12.75. Ugh.

The past week has actually been great food wise but I've not had time to go to the gym. Just too busy. I got on the scales on Wednesday and somehow it seems I've lost weight... and incredibly 3lbs. 12 stone 9.75 flashed up. Well, actually it was less that that at first but I soon got it to creep up a bit. WTF?

I don't really think I've lost 3lbs - and if I have then some of it must be muscle. I've got another mad mental week and so I'm going to keep eating healthily and we'll see what the scales say next week. Even if they stay the same then I'll be happy.

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 177.75 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 26.5 pounds

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Home is where the heart is

Christ on a bike... my move to TB's city, and indeed to move in with him, has fairly romped on apace.

The original plan was to move in March. I got a bit bored with that. It seemed a sensible decision at the time as I needed a chance to get my flat ready to rent and we needed to find a place to move into. There was also the fact TB's flatmate decided to move in with his girlfriend too and within days of looking for jobs she had one and moved into their flat two weeks ago. I won't lie to you... My nose was a little bit put out of joint and I felt like my thunder had been stolen- just a bit.

So, TB and I decided to bring the move forward to January. After Christmas and the start of a new year.

Then, a friend of a friend was very interested in renting my place- as of the end of December. Sooner than planned but it was only 3 weeks earlier or so. I started to look at flats to rent in his city and found a flat that seemed perfect. 2 bedrooms, a spacious living room, a shared garden and it looks onto a park. The best thing though is that they would let me bring my fluffy boy- the cat could come... And there is a cat flap leading into the stairwell from the main door. Amazing! The catch? The flat was up for grabs now. The landlord wanted someone in immediately. Oh.

It seemed too good to pass up. It would mean we had to get our backsides in gear toot suite. I chased up the girl who wanted my flat- queue a big fat spanner in the works. She decided she was going to rent somewhere else. Balls.

That afternoon I banged an ad up on gumtree for my flat. 24 hours later I had 5 viewings lined up. They all took place on Saturday. After choosing the best candidate, the lease was signed on Tuesday. He moves in in a week. And I move out, and in with TB.

So the past week has been a flurry of sanding, painting, clearing out stuff, packing, cleaning, changing addresses, buying new stuff for my tenant, registering as a landlord and all the snash that comes with that, cancelling direct debits and a million other things.

On Saturday I'm filling a transit van with all my stuff and driving the 100+ miles to my new home before coming back on Monday for my last 4 nights in the flat that has been my home, my haven for the last 9 years.

I am excited. So excited. But, tonight has been tough. The pictures are all off the walls and it's soon not going to be my home, but just a flat. But as TB said, it's not the end, it's the beginning.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Weigh in

In your FACE! Who's face? The scales face!

2 pounds off! Wham bam, thank you mam. Well, actually - it's thank you to me. Just a bit of self love coming up...  I may have had a few slip ups along the way but overall I must have been doing something right as I am slowly edging my way back down the 12 stone bracket and I'm now 12 stone 11.5lbs.

What really has made me feel good is the 5km run that I did last week. To know that I'm running better than I have ever before reminds me that I've come a long way and while I've been toiling with half a stone - I'm still fit and I'm not miles away from where I was at my lightest and fittest ever. In fact, I'm only 4lbs away from my lightest ever and 3.25lbs away from the two stone mark.

To celebrate all this I'm going back to circuits tonight - first night back since 'the great ankle sprain of 2011'.

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 179.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 2 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 24.75 pounds

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Hopeful but unconvinced

Dinner last night was relatively healthy. Well - it was healthy; a nice veggie curry and brown rice. What wasn't so great was the half a cupcake and fair few matchmakers I scarfed. I did do my 2.5mile walk as planned though and so all was not lost.
Today has been a sterling day and all that remains (apart from a power of work) is spinning and grilled pork chop and veg for tea.

So how am I feeling about tomorrow? Well... unsure to be honest. I'm expecting a loss of some description as I mainly stuck to my eating plan and worked out quite a bit. What might derail me is the ice cream situation of Thursday night (oops) and Saturday's few slip ups. 

Here is the week of exercise. Let's hope it was enough.

Wednesday: Gym workout. 4.6 mile cycle
Thursday: Spinning. 4.32 mile cycle
Friday: 7.26 mile cycle
Sat & Sun: Nothing
Monday: 2.16 mile cycle. 2.5 mile walk
Tuesday: 2.16 mile cycle. Spinning.

Monday, 7 November 2011


What a great weekend. TB and I tackled flat painting on Saturday with great success and the place is looking pretty damn good. I've still got a fair few bits to do myself but I feel like we've broken the back of it and the thought of getting going isn't quite the giant mental hurdle it was before.  I feel like I'll be ready to get it on the rental market mid December and then I will hopefully find someone to move in early January.
On Saturday night I went out with some of my friend's and got totally shit faced. I was completely steam boats. This was all before 12pm when we then went to a party where things proceeded to get even more messy. TB rocked up at about 4pm and we carried on with our boozy night until we left at 9.30am! It's been a while since I had such a massive bender - and boy it felt good!

I must confess bits of the night are a total blur but I do remember most of it and also have some vague memories of TB saying something to me about marriage! I'm pretty sure he said something along the lines of "I'm not actually asking you but what would you say if I asked you to marry me?" Ha! I love it! I can't actually remember what I said in reply but I know I didn't want it to be an all out YES! I mean, I don't want him to think it's that easy to snare me! So I think I mumbled something about the chances were pretty high. That is all I can recall, irritatingly.  I know he was completely smashed and so it was just drunken chat but even thinking that it's a tiny thought that has crossed his mind fleetingly, makes me feel all giddy and girly!  I'm not going to think any more about it though. Let's just try moving in together first.

And how did the weekend eating go? Up and down. So much for making a pudding that TB would like and I wouldn't.  I ate just as much as he did (minus the horrible sultanas) but I suppose it was relatively low fat.  Saturday was a poor result. Baguette with chips, pizza and cupcakes all featured. As well as a power of booze. I did stick to diet mixers though and Sunday did balance things out. The hangover and party fall out was rather sizeable and so the full days intake was a few mouthfuls of scrambled eggs, 3 small slices of cold pizza and a few onion rings. Oh, and some banana milk.

My appetite today has returned with a bang and my poor tummy is rumbling. However, keep it lean, keep it mean - is my mantra and I shall have two stupendous days before weigh in. There is no way I could face the gym tonight - the hangover still lingers. Instead I'm hotfooting it 2.5 miles over to my pal's for tea. 

I've got a lunchtime 30 minute power walk planned for lunchtime tomorrow and spinning in the evening. I WILL see a loss this week. Onwards and downwards!

Friday, 4 November 2011

I scream, You scream...

Oh dear. Oh  dear oh dear. After my smug post yesterday about how I was feeling super energised and back in the zone, I had  a massive slip up.
The day had gone so well... fruit for brekkie, spinning at lunchtime and then sushi followed by homemade chilli and a sweet potato for tea. But then, I made a huge mistake.

I had bought a tub of ice cream to accompany the apple samosa filo pastry things I'd was making for TB's pudding tonight.  I didn't want to buy a big tub as it's the kind of thing I'd rather not have in my freezer for weeks on end and so I ended up buying  a tub the size of a Ben and Jerry's or a Haagen Dazs.

After my tea I thought: "Oooh, I know. I'll just have a few spoonfuls of ice cream. Just for a little something sweet." I sat down with the tub and a teaspoon. I know! Alarm bells are ringing with you as you read this I'm sure. You can guess what happened next, right? I ate the whole sodding thing. The. Whole. Thing. I was so annoyed with myself. I totally undid all the good work from spinning - and then some! What was I thinking? Well,  that's just it. I wasn't thinking. I totally switched off and mindlessly ate the whole thing. What an idiot.

But wait.... it gets better. You are not going to believe this. I had to pop out to the shops to buy a replacement tub.  Yeah, you've guessed it... I did it again. I ate that entire tub too! What an absolute fanny. I can't quite believe it.  What a waste of all my good work. So so stupid. SO stupid. It's not like I was craving ice cream or something sweet and couldn't stop thinking about it. It's more that the thought popped into my head and that was it.... I turned into a calorie consuming zombie.

So where do I go from here? Right back on it. That's where. I am so angry with myself and also bewlidered at my behaviour. I feel like I've let myself down but I need to let go of these thoughts and focus on moving forward. Negative thoughts are not going to get me anywhere. Everything else since weigh in has been amazing - the exercise especially.

I've got a healthy dinner planned tonight for TB and I (stuffed peppers and grilled pork chops - his will be topped with apple sauce and blue cheese) and the apple things for pudding which I won't like so no worries there. Tomorrow we are painting the flat and so it'll just be sarnies for lunch. Easy. No plans for dinner as yet but I'm going to be insisting on something that's not dripping in oil or cheese or cream.

Saturday night is going to be boozy but I'll do my usual and stick to rum and diet coke. No after boozing snacking. Sunday will be more of a trial as I fend off the hangover but I've done it before and I can do it again.

Have a great weekend peeps and enjoy a 99 for me. x

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Back to form

So the scales and  I might not be getting along so well just now but there is another piece of equipment that is my new best friend; the treadmill.
I was feeling pretty tired last night. 4.6 miles of cycling around town and a busy day at work had wiped me out and I could not be bothered with the gym. However, Never to be repeated November (thanks for that moniker. Mother. It's been named so as the plan is that we are going to be so amazing in November that to repeat our  actions could never happen again) is here and so there was no option.

At around 4pm I had necked a sugar free red bull and two nurofen. At 6pm I  got home and cranked up the Immaculate Collection full volume while getting changed into my gym kit. At 6.30pm I got on the treadmill. At 7pm I got off the treadmill having completed a 5k.

Let me spell this out... I ran 5km in 30 minutes and 30 seconds. I think that's a personal best!  I'm sure of it. I was only planning to do about 10 minutes of running but I got into a nice steady rhythm and as the minutes ticked by I just decided that I was going to keep going until I hit 5k. At about 3.5k I increased the speed and by the last km I was going for it. So so pleased.

Thanks to that performance I am right back in the zone and I'm even planning to go back to circuits next week. Delightful! I am determined to shift this pesky half stone that has snuck back on.

I'm actually feeling very organised and productive in all areas of my life at the moment. I've been getting the LoveCat Lair ready for renting out. This has involved sorting out all my drawers and chucking out a metric tonne of shite which has been cluttering up my cupboards for years doing sweet FA.  I'm just about there and this weekend TB and I will be getting busy with some paint brushes. I am quite excited!

When I was clearing out my cupboards I found a show box in which I had put lots of letters and other sentimental shenanigans. I had a quick rifle through and found a few items from The Highlander. There were a couple of Valentine cards which were quite nice to read. And then I found a Valentine card from me to him. I had written a message all about how I would always love him with all my heart. It felt really weird see my handwriting alongside his name and a gushing message.

I know I was mad about him when we were together. Of course I was or I wouldn't have hung in there for as many years as I did. But looking back it all seems such a dim and distant memory. I've forgotten so much of it and how into him I was. I think that's partly because I can now look back and see how his behaviour was totally unacceptable at the time. Something I just couldn't process back then.

The way I feel about TB feels so much.... I don't know. I suppose I feel the most in love with TB that I've been with anyone. I've loved a few people in my time, all in different ways, but with TB it's better than I could ever imagine. Not only do I love him because I fancy the pants off him and I feel like we're completely on the same level, but the things he does for me and and the way he puts me first is unlike anyone I've ever met.

I threw my Valentine card in the bin.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Weigh in

There is good news and there is bad news.
Let's kick off on a positive note... I'm still in the 12s! Whooppeee! And the bad news is... I'm up to 12stone 13.5lbs. Yup, just half pound away from the 13s. That's not so great.

However, I'm not going to sweat it because where would that get me? I'm back on track. I'm exercising lots. I'm eating the right things. I'm going to climb back down towards the 12 and a half stone. One step at a time.

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 181.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: + 0.25 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 22.75 pounds

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Day before drivel

Sooooo - how has the past week been? Pretty darn amaze-balls. 
There is something about working out really hard that focuses my mind and makes me stick to the eating side of things. Admittedly the last couple of days have been a bit dodgy food wise but in the main - I'm a pretty happy bunny.

I'm weighing in tomorrow and I have no idea what the scales are going to throw at me- especially as I am out for tea tonight. I know I feel better than this time last week. My jeans are definitely slightly looser. Although the ying to that yang is the fact I caught sight of my backside in a changing room mirror and the phrase 'badly set jelly' sprung to mind. Just as well I have a fan-bloody-tastic personality to distract!

It's been a while since I've done one of these, so enjoy!

Tues: Spinning. 10 mins cardio. 2.16 mile cycle.
Wed: Gym workout. 2.16 mile cycle.
Thurs: 11.11 mile cycle.
Fri: Spinning. 4.32 mile cycle.
Sat: Gym workout
Sun: 4km run
Mon & Tues: nothing