One year on...

This time last year life was so very different and I was in a completely different place. I was still coming to terms that there was no life left in whatever it was that had been going on for 18 months with Skip and I. ‘Fight Night’, the night when it all came to a head and Skip admitted he was still in love with his ex of ten years ago; an ex that is part of the same group of friends, was still to come.

How everyone’s lives have changed since then. I ricochet into a whirl wind romance with Moonraker and was swept of my feet. While the relationship ended in heartbreak – my heartbreak, the whole thing was perhaps what I needed. Someone to make me realise that I deserved more and that I was worth more than being a just a bit of fun, or a make do option. And look where it led me... to Toy Boy.  I’m the one, that after all the heartache and turmoil, the headaches and the time wasting has found someone who I truly feel that I can be myself with. 

But it looks like I might not be the only one.... 

Whaddya know, Skip and his ex are back together. I had inkling at the time, when confessed/hit me with how he felt, that it might be on the cards, one day. One day – not a few months later.  

In the main I am fine about it. The group dynamic has changed totally. Kenny has moved to London and most of my free time is spent seeing my other mates and of course, TB. In fact, I’m happy for them and I hope it works out. She has a wee girl and they might end up being their own family.  Who knows?

What I am struggling a bit with is the fact that they both know I felt. I confided in her at times and she was only too well aware of how I felt and the quandary I had when it came to saying no to him. He knew how I felt. Of course he did.  While I’m sure they’re not going to spend any time at all discussing what went on between him and I, I do feel a bit exposed. They’ve both seen a side of me that is very private; a side that nobody would readily reveal. They kept their relationship under wraps to start with but now it's out in the open – facebook a go go. I’ve not seen them since this happened and I’m not about to schedule a catch up with them anytime soon. I am okay about it but it’s just something I need to get my head around slowly.