I knew this day would come. It’s always been in the post, I just didn’t know how swift the postman would be.
I’ve lost my dieting mojo. Big sigh. I actually just did a massive, shoulder dropping sigh.
I’ve not totally lost the plot. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not inhaling everything that’s not nailed down. I’m not making trips to the supermarket to buy a pile of junk to eat. I’m not secret eating. But things are not what they used to be – or need to be.
I predominantly blame this stupid, swollen ankle of mine. It would seem that I’m going to have to take it easy for more than just a week or so. It’s still as swollen as ever and rotating it round to a certain degree is impossible. This means running and lunging are still out. I do a lot of lunging as part of my general gym workouts and I know they make a difference. It also means no bodypump, no circuits, no general running. That’s a lot of no’s.
There is still a lot I can do, cycling, cross trainer, spinning, squats, ab work, upper body weights, lower leg static weights - all at a slightly less intensive level than I would like to be doing it. But I’ve not really being doing them.
I just feel so.... unmotivated. I picked at food over the weekend and somehow found myself merrily chomping on chocolate biscuits without a second thought. There were lots of other minor misdemeanours (fudge, meringues, fairy cakes) – the worst of which was eating a kebab at 11pm on Sunday night for my dinner – oh and a bit of chicken and veggie pakora.
So really nothing too major. Really not major at all but compared to my positive and focused attitude, I feel a million miles away. If I ever slip up much I feel like I get right back on track with a sterling day of eating really healthily and keeping portions down – and a really hard and sweaty workout.
So yesterday, I was feeling annoyed about the kebab action and the weekend of slackness. I stuck to fruit for breakfast and a chickpea and tomato veggie thing for lunch. I then went home, had a healthy tea and proceeded to sit on the couch and demolish the best part of a bag of sherbet strawberries for the rest of the night. No gym action, just a shit load of sugar. Nice one. Nice one you bloody idiot.
I’m letting this ankle situation get to me. It’s thrown me off track, my routine has been knocked off course and I’m losing focus. When I was in London, barely in control of what I was eating and dealing with the unknown did I let that stop me? NO. Completely the opposite. I saw a challenge and I kicked arse. Why am I letting this time be any different?
So, I’ve had a few days of dodgy eating and I’ve not exercised as much as I would have liked. That is not going to suddenly make me gain half a stone. Keeping in this frame of mind will make that happen though.
I need to get back into the groove, yes – a slightly different groove – and get the chuffing hell on with it. I still look the same. I’ve maybe put on a few pounds but that is a mere blip – not a tidal wave.
It’s nearly the end of the working day and I’ve had a great day so far. I’m going to have some fish and veggies for dinner and then I am going to spinning. I do not want to weigh in tomorrow but I am going to do it and I am going to deal with it.
It’s not as much as I should have done but here is the exercise run down.
Wednesday: Upper body weights and side leg raises in the flat
Thursday: 4 miles on bike. 40 min spin class.
Friday: 3 miles on bike, 10 mins cross trainer, 25 mins of weight machines and squats
Sat & Sunday: Nothing
Monday: 5.5 miles on bike
Tuesday: Spinning
You are still exercising, despite restrictions, and you're still aware of what you're eating even if you're not always making the right decisions, so, as you say, the indicators are very much that this is mere blip territory.
ReplyDeleteHopefully your weigh in will not be too bad, but whatever happens, at least facing what the scales say will allow you to draw that mythical line.
Sx
First things first, from the sounds of things, you have not lost your dieting mojo at all, merely put it down for a few days!! And EVERYONE does that from time to time. The fact that you are still blogging, weighing and exercising is proof of that.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your former full-on success has led you to expect a bit too much of a crock?! Give yourself a break, revise your expectations to lower but realistic levels for the period of this injury and forget about your little kebab and sugar adventures..... Really. Put them behind you. What's done is done.
Our SW leader was talking this evening to a woman who had said EXACTLY the same as you about losing her diet mojo. Her advice was: you cannot fail until you give up; the fact that you're still trying is proof that you can succeed. Keep on going, even at a lower level, until you feel ready to push again but dont give up.
And, another little piece of advice from me would be to use your own words to help motivate yourself. You've written this brilliant blog. Read back and try and remember the good times and what helped you get out of the bad times. You have been doing so well that I'm sure you'll find some stuff to help.
Good luck hon. Stick with it and it'll come good very soon.
Lesley xx
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ReplyDeleteYes, it's tricky when something throws you off course - but this is YOU, you can so get round, through or over this.
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