As I mentioned in my last post I've been feeling a bit wound up about the lack of suitable (for us!) wedding venues. The shortlist was getting shorter very quickly as we decided for whatever reason, they weren't right. And to make me panic even more, my friend who got engaged about six weeks before TB and I and is getting married in August (months later than we are planning to) has hers all booked and the even thinks she's seen the dress she wants!
So I kept on trawling the internet and got a couple of recommendations from friends. Ffion, raised a good point about needing to get married somewhere with a roof but that's yet another fantastic thing about Scotland - you can get married anywhere. We're also planning a humanist ceremony so it's even more flexible.
My best friend, and bridesmaid, was visiting me last week and when looking for somewhere to go on a rainy day I found a gallery just a few miles from home. Hold the chuffing phone, this gallery is in an old house and it has grounds. Lots of grounds. And accommodation in the house - and in other cottages! TB and I went to view it yesterday and we think it could be.... the one!
I love it and it feels so us. Get this, it's even got a Victorian walled garden! I need to calm myself though. It's not a done deal. I'm waiting to get a price from them and confirmation of what dates they have in May next year. There is also a small issue that I'm not sure how to overcome.
This venue, by pure chance happens to be about 1 mile away from TB's parent's house. Apart from having it in their garden, you couldn't get any closer. This isn't a problem for me as we live just 15 minutes away and so it's ideal, really. But I know my mum isn't so cool about it.
Traditionally it's the Bride's parent's that invite people to the wedding. They are they hosts. My folk's are on holiday just now so I texted them about it. I specifically asked how they felt about the location. Mum's response avoided answering that question. I spoke to her on the phone last night and she said she thought it sounded fantastic and we should push on with getting prices and so on. I asked her again what she thought about the location and she said “you
obviously know me better than I think you do.” So it IS an issue. She’s
not making a fuss but she’s clearly not totally fine with it. We've looked at a lot of places and this is best one for us by far so we're not going to discount it but I want her to be happy with our choice.
PS) I cannot stop eating. What the crap am I playing at?
Given how tough it is to find a venue, you need to go with it and find a way of making it better for your mum. Could she host a family US style night before dinner? Can't think what they call it.... Or do you an engagement party?
ReplyDeleteAnd hurrah for the wedding posts! I am looking forward to them already and would be hassling you if you didn't mention it enough!
Px
REHEARSAL dinner! That's what it is!
ReplyDeleteI love wedding posts - keep them coming.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I can guarantee you is that you will piss off at least one person at least once when you are planning your wedding. But a) these things tend to just melt away on the day itself and b) it sounds like your mum is prepared to be sensible about it. Don't compromise on what you want for the sake of keeping other people happy.
And Peridot's idea of having her host a rehearsal dinner is, I think, a lovely one. It could be the weekend before the wedding so not too close but it would give her the opportunity to be hostess.
Good luck!
Sx
Speaking as a mum whose 3 offspring are all married, I'd think your mum will want you to have the wedding you want. She wouldn't want you to have second best, just to please her. Just involve her in some of the other things, eg the flowers or whatever - as well as showing her the venue.
ReplyDeleteAhh good old Scotland and the differing rules, makes things a bit easier. I hope you get the dates you want!
ReplyDelete