It's all gone a bit wonky.
So wonky in fact, that I didn't weigh myself this morning. The upshot is that I held it together at weekend until Saturday night and then it went right down the pan. And there it has pretty much stayed. It's not been a full on bingearama (although it's been a long time since I really have done that for more than a brief moment in time) but it's pretty far off where I should be.
All I can do is start each day off on a positive note and try my best to make it last past 5pm. I actually feel more driven today for some reason (hence this post). So it's been a boiled egg and an apple for breakfast and for lunch, a salmon and roast aubergine salad. The salad was actually fricking delicious - which always helps.
When I am totally focused it doesn't matter what I do or where I go, or what social event is thrown at me. I can find a way through it and I can come out the other side, usually a bit thinner! I should be thinking that exact way about this weekend but wait for this...
TB and I have a funeral and are going to be spending a lot of time with family. One of them is Jamaican and she is going to cook up a big Jamaican meal for us on Saturday night including chicken, rice and beans, spicy banana fritters and a drink made from rum, sweetcorn and evaporated milk! What the chuff? That drink is three of my favourite things! How am I supposed to resist?
I've got to take it one day at a time. I don't have the motivation at the moment to think about long terms goals and grand plans. Today is going to be my first day, back on track in control.