Weigh in

Traaa laaa laaa... that's me skipping along, feeling pleased with myself. 1.75lbs off this week.

Pow POW. The reasons I think this happened are... despite being away in London for three days and drinking a fair amount, I walked a lot and made as many healthy choices as possible. That's it. There is nothing else that springs to mind and so I'm not going to over-think it, for once.

That takes me to 13 stone 3.75lbs. I still feel bigger than this but putting on an old favourite dress this morning, the belt is only one hole away from it's smallest position. So again, I'm not going to over think things but (haha, I cannot help myself!) I do feel more wobbly than I'd like. There is definitely some work on toning and muscle building that needs attention. Really, I just need to do more exercise. 'Just'. That's a total bastard of a word.

I'm playing badminton singles tonight which will be a bloody good work out. Then I am going home to bake a cake! Not for me - of course! Office birthday time and I seem to have made a rod for my own back. Love it!

Starting Weight: 190.75 pounds
Current Weight: 185.75 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.75 pounds
Total 2013 Weight Loss: 5 pounds

The old band, back together

 My weekend in London was fantastic. Late birthday present receiving, coffee drinking, eurovision watching, club going, spa-indulging, tube riding joy. Quality time with my girls. Loved it.

Sold - a step in the right direction

I'm about to scoot off to London for  long weekend with my bezzies and here I am with a raging cold. Gah! I am annoyed! I just blew my nose and my ear made an really horrible popping noise. A really horrible, sore popping noise. I do not want to be getting on a plane like this. Sake!

Aaaaanyway, I didn't meant to bleat on about feeling sorry for myself (okay, maybe just a little bit). This is more about me reporting in on a relatively successful day. It wasn't perfect but it was pretty good. It could have been better but considering my state of mind of late - I'll take it.

I also played badminton doubles for an hour. I can tell you...  my bottom is sore today - from all the lunging! So it's all steps in the right direction. I've no idea what the weekend has in store in terms of temptation but I'm not stressing about it. Once day at a time.


B: Boiled egg & a pink lady apple
S: Nakd bar
L: Baked potato & chilli
S: Thorntons Chocolate, cold meat
D: Turkey steak, roast aubergine, salad
S: Handful pretzels, mini choc ice, mint humbug

Weigh in

Guess what... I totally went off the rails again. Well there's a shocker.

This is boring, right. Really bloody boring. I am sick of it. I am sick of feeling annoyed with myself. I am sick of not getting results. I am sick of living in the same four outfits. I am sick of feeling like I am getting bigger and bigger. Sick to the back teeth.

I'm back in the habit of avoiding looking in the mirror when I'm naked. I can see the difference - the bigger hips, the chunkier thighs, the back fat - and I don't like it. Not one bit. Head in sand phase, engaged.

Last night I was getting ready for bed and I caught sight of my body from the side. My naked side profile, if you will. I was shocked. I've never really had problems with a big tummy but then and there, I could easily have passed for someone who was four months pregnant. Jesus. Not cool. This is not cool. What am I playing at?

I woke up this morning and weighed myself. Who knows what the chuff is going on there. I'm 1.25lbs lighter than I was two weeks ago.  Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased that the number isn't in double digits but it doesn't really just now as I feel horrible. I just need to get those numbers down.

I've got a banging sore head and the start of a cold but TB and I have arrange to play badminton tonight with friends. But I'll go. I need to get one good day under my belt. I need to get a grip and take this one day at a time.

Starting Weight: 190.75 pounds
Current Weight: 187.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.25 pounds
Total 2013 Weight Loss: 3.25 pounds

I LOVE birthdays

 Happy Birthday to me! Today am ALL the 3's - thirty three!

I LOVE birthdays and today has been no exception. I woke up early with the love of my life and my pussy cat too. That alone would be enough (and... boake!)but on top of that I've had so many lovely messages from friends and family and even a recording of happy birthday from my friend's wee girl. Too much cuteness!

The sun was shining, I got a washing out (officially old!) and had a wee play around with my ipad mini - which I put all my birthday money towards. It is white. It is PURE DEAD sexy. Then more loveliness... TB's dad dropped off a picnic hamper filled with wine and goodies from him and Mummy TB. It's s wicker and  has it's own crockery! So picnicing is well and truly on the cards this weekend. I then trotted off to work armed with a couple of cakes - a big 3 decorated with peanut M&M's and a smaller skittles rainbow.

Most people on their birthday get a cake made for them but I do love a good bake and was itching to try out my ring tin which I got for Christmas. I also didn't want some crappy shop bought nonsense. I had a really nice time decorating them last night with TB (he was in charge of colour management and spacing) and managed to keep the licking of the icing bowl to a minimum.  With some of the left over cake, cut away from the ring I also made some a Victoria sponge  - with my own jam too (budge over, Nigella). TB took that to work today. I don't mind tooting my own trumpet - my sponge cake is bloody good.

Not a weigh in

Yesterday was exemplary. Sterling. Bloody fantastic.

Another one of these would be just peachy. I was out for lunch at Wagamama today and looked up the menu first. I was actually quite surprised how many cals and grams of fat were in dishes that sounded fairly healthy. I ended up going for the grilled fish ramen which came with a massive wooden ladle. Much slurping ensued.

Apart from cycling the couple of miles to lunch and back, there is no form of exercise on the cards. I hurt my arms the weekend. Sort of strained them and they are now killing since I got off my bike. On top of that, it's my birthday tomorrow. Who wants to exercise on their birthday?! No-one, that's who. Only really boring bastards.

Now, I would normally weigh in today. It's Wednesday, innit. However, I decided against it. I wasn't sure what I was going to do but at the last minute I made decision to hold off until next week. I feel confident that I'm going to have a good week. I don't want to see a number on the scale today that's going to affect me, potentially adversely. Especially when I do feel positive right now. So it's head down and no result.

Stars in my eyes

I feel like the boy who cried wolf. I'm the girl who cried 'diet starts today'.

But guess what - it's today, again.

The weekend was a washout, both in terms of the weather and also the amount of crap I managed shove in my face.I felt fat all weekend. Uncomfortable. Frustrated. When I go away camping I always think back and the main thing I remember is how I felt about my weight. This weekend, not good. Last summer, amazing.  A year ago, not good. And it affects the whole thing. 

Last night, amid the dirty clothes, waterproof jackets and rucksacks, TB told me that he wants to start eating healthily. No more big portions, no more treats and snacks. He's not happy with how he looks at the moment and wants to lose some weight. That makes two of us.

So here we are... starting out once more. I feel like I have begun this cycle so many times this year. More than any other. Even when I have had weeks of eating well, I've not had results. So what am I going to do differently this time? What do I need to do?

I think I've confused myself and allowed things into my diet that perhaps shouldn't be there because I've had one eye on paleo. There are loads of good things about paleo eating but I feel like, for me - if I don't do it 100% then it's not going to work. And being completely honest, I am never going to do it 100%.

I don't calorie count because I know what works for me. But it's been a long time since something has actually worked for me. So assuming that I know what I can eat, isn't working. I need to go back to basics. A perfect example took place when I bought lunch today. Already clutching a basic salad bowl and a red pepper I was perusing the fish aisle for some protein for my salad. Just before grabbing some honey roast mackerel and hot footing it to the till, I looked at the numbers. 150 cals for one small sliver. I put it back and instead took a packet of ham - 115 cals for the whole lot.

That, my friends is how it is going to be for a while. I need to really think about what I am eating. It's that simple. And if I needed anymore encouragement... it's all in the stars.

Weigh in

Pinch punch first of the month.

Pinch an inch? Yank a yard, more like. I know I stuffed myself silly with cheesy crepes for dinner last night, and the rest of that traybake but seeing 13 stone 6.75lbs on the scales this morning still gave me a bit of a shock.

2.5lbs on in one week. I am pissed off with myself. Blah blah blah.

Apart from almost being sick at CrossFit last night (two others actually were) and having to lie down as I was so lightheaded, I am actually pretty fit right now. I can run a 5k in under 35 mins. I can cycle for miles and miles. I can squat 60k. But I am fat. And I am pissed off.  I am  also all over the place with my thoughts.

• It's the first of a new month - time for a fresh start
• I'm going camping this weekend, what's the point in starting before then
• Two weeks of careful eating could make me feel 100 x better
• I'm going to be living with TB's folks for 3 weeks - how will I cope with that
• I've got a month left of CrossFit before we move out the city - I should make the most of it
• I need to exercise more
• I exercise less and fill in the gaps with food
• So busy just now. I need time to plan
• Busy is good - no time to be distracted by food and sitting on my arse

And so it goes on back and forth. Of course, the day has started off well - as it usually does - boiled egg for breakfast. Lunch is a chicken and avocado salad. Dinner - no idea as yet. I have to keep trying though. I'm never going to give up entirely but that doesn't mean I'm going to get  handle on things and actually lose the half a stone (and the rest) that would make me feel SO much better.


Starting Weight: 190.75 pounds
Current Weight: 186.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: + 2.5 pounds
Total 2013 Weight Loss: 1.75 pounds