My objective on Saturday night was to look smokin' hot. I felt great and I got some lovely compliments so I'm going to take that as goal met.
As I knew I would, I saw the married one. And as I knew it would be, it was totally fine. We blethered away and all was good. I also chatted away to two of my female friends who are going to be part of this same team that they are all (TB too) involved in next year.
As soon as I saw them they both made reference to the fact TB is now part of that close knit team (and by default me too) and that there is history with me and the married one. For example one of the girls used to be invovled with someone who was part of the team before. She said : "I'm glad I'm not the one things will be awkward for anymore!". Then later on the other girl said to me: "It'll be all be fine." I replied: "I know. I'm fine about it all. I just think it's quite interesting (i.e. married one's decision to involve TB)".
At the time I didn't think anything more about it but then the next day it dawned on me that they think there is some sort of issue with the married one and I. There's not. Okay, I won't lie. I've seen him pawing over other girls and I don't like it. I have no right to be irritated by it and it's not that I wish I was them. I just don't like it. My ego doesn't like it. The married one knows that. I don't like that he knows that but well, he does.
But this is all just... nothing. None of it matters. I don't care about anyone except TB. The married one can flirt and come on to the world and it's wife - I might feel a little jealous but he means nothing to me. My concern is that TB gets wind (thanks to chat from others) that there is some sort of problem/tension with TMO (the married one) and wonders what it's all about. I do find it interesting that TMO has created a situation where TB and I will see him a lot more between now and the summer - and will be living on top of each other for two weeks in the summer. But who cares - it's TB and me. We're a team and I just want to make sure that others are aware of that withouth me trying to look like I'm protesting too much.
I'm on a lifelong mission to ditch the lard. Stones away from my heaviest, I'm closing in on my pre-pregnancy weight. Next up, my wedding weight! Onwards!
V annoying conundrum. The more you try to explain, the more it will appear to be an issue/talking point. Swallow your pride and let your actions not your words do the talking. You dont care about TMO and you do care about TB so that is what matters.
ReplyDeleteWell done on the laserlike exercise. In contrast, mine is as focussed as a bag of flour thrown to the 4 winds.... L xx