Very trying

Tonight my sister in law said I was looking trim and if I had been trying.

Trying?!

She has no idea.

Knocking
My
Pan
In


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Chowing down

Two posts in two days! I know! I think it's safe to say that's a sure sign I am feeling much more focused.

I mean, let's not get carried away I've managed to eat well and exercise for two days. It's not going to melt away half a stone like magic but two days become three and three become four.... and then a few pounds are lost - and then half a stone is melted away.

I'm on super budget lockdown as well and I had a most productive evening last night. A lovely healthy fish pie for tea, a sweaty gym workout, a flat tidy round and then I whipped up some super healthy spicy parsnip and butternut squash soup which I made from from a load of reduced veg I picked up at the supermarket.

The lovely and very witty Peridot asked me for a some examples of the kinds of things I eat on a day to to day basis and so here is today's eats. I've also included the times so you get an idea of what I need to keep me going. It's also an unusual day because I've got meeting at lunchtime which is breaking lunch so it's in two parts.

9am: Hot water and lemon
10am: pineapple, melon, plum and grapes with low fat yogurt
10.30am: coffee
11.30: Satsuma
12. Cycle 4.5 miles to meeting
12.50pm: Slimming world quiche made with cottage cheese and loadsa veg. Small portion.
2pm: Apple
2pm: Cycle 4.5 miles back from meeting
3pm: Homemade spicy parsnip and butternut squash soup
4pm: Coffee
5pm: Raw carrot and a satsuma
7pm: Fish pie (Jamie Oliver recipe made healthier by removing oil) and broccoli
8.30pm: Refresher ice lolly
10pm: Frozen grapes.

I also drink a lot of sugar free diluting juice throughout the day. I might have more coffee than that too.

Right - time to get to my meeting on my wheels of steel. Adios!

Hello stranger

Cooooeeeeee!
Well hey there! How the HELL are ya? What the devil has been going down?  Me? Oh, you know - all the usual shenanigans. I was at a wedding at the weekend at which I was a bridesmaid. So much fun. I felt really lovely in my dress and the pics are pretty flattering too - which was a relief considering I've not exactly been sticking to the diet.

Ummm, what else?... Oh yeah, In general I've been eating like a total mentalist that is trying to put on as much weight in as short a time period as possible. Disappointing behaviour that has left me feeling pretty sick fed up with myself - and literally sick, at times.

BUT.... the fog is lifting. I've got a clear run of a whole week with no plans for drinking or crazy nights out - and lots of time for exercise. I've pretty much done what I know always works for me - and that is to make a plan. I know exactly what exercise I am doing every day until Monday. I know exactly what meals I am eating until Saturday lunchtime. I follow the plan; I tick the boxes.

I didn't take part in the weekly weigh in today as I'd put my mortgage on the fact I would have seen 13stone something. No thanks. I do not want to see 13 stone ever again. I'm going to get back into the groove for a week and then I'll see what is going on.

For the moment - it is one day at time.

The good will out

I tried on my bridesmaid dress tonight.

It would seem the extra four pounds or so that I've been carrying around since my holiday (which was two months ago!) have settled around my tummy and hips. It's nothing to worry about and while I can see that my dress isn't sitting as perfectly as it was, isn't anything a pair of pull-you-in tights can't sort out.

However, I want to be able to breath out on the day of the wedding without worrying that I've got a pot belly going on (there ain't nowhere to hide in a size 14 Coast dress) and so until Saturday it's all systems go.

While I've been munching on too many of the wrong things I am doing a lot of the right things. I had a great gym workout on Saturday and tonight. I've a 6 mile cycle under my belt and I'm spinning tomorrow as well. That's four solid workouts this week.

I've had a really sterling day food wise and I intend for tomorrow to be the same. I am out for a sushi lunch and so I just need to avoid the soy sauce to there is no salty water retention issues during Wednesday's weigh in.

Regardless of what the scales say on Wednesday morning. I need to keep on going. Get back into the groove of planing my food and building my plans around my workouts. I'm off to TB's on Wednesday lunchtime and so I'd love to get up early and get a quick run under my belt. In fact - I just have to decide that's what I'm doing. That's the plan. End of discussion.

Ying & Yang

Last night, on a Saturday night, I went to the gym and a great workout.

I've just eaten four crumpets with chorizo and melted cheese. 

This is the ying and yang of my life right now.

Today I was sitting next to a girl I know who used to be around a size 24. I've not seen her for a couple of years. She must be about a size 10 now.  I almost asked her how she did it. "What is your secret" almost passed my lips. I know the secret - there is no secret, just dedication, organisation and hard work. I just can't seem to keep it together for more than a few days and I am getting annoyed with myself now.

Ohhhhhhh L'amour!

Erasure were bloomin amazing last night. Andy Bell was having a few voice troubles yet he still belted out every number. Loved it.

Me and my bezzie guzzled wine and cider and some vegetable tempura (on the way home on the train) and then I got home and had some supernoodles and a packet of white chocolate buttons. Again with the supernoodles! What is wrong with me? I felt proper hungry, really starving and my drunken strategy was to avoid buying a loaf of bread as I felt as though I could have eaten about 20 slices of toast.

I'm planning a lovely Moroccan lamb tagine for dinner which is nice and healthy and I'm avoiding pudding by opting for crackers, cheese and my homemade chutney. I'm not that keen on crackers and cheese but TB loves them so he can guzzle them all.

I've got a really lazy weekend ahead so I'm going to sneak in a gym workout on Saturday. The only other thing on the cards is a birthday lunch on Sunday- and that's it! Bliss.

Weigh in

Oh dear these posts are getting few and far between.

I have had a mental time with work and the mother of all proposals. Luckily it is out the way now and I am hoping some sort of normality will resume.  Oh wait, what's that... I'm going to see Erasure tonight, I have mountains of other work to catch up on, I'm off to TB's on Wednesday of next week and then we're going to London for the wedding at which I am a bridesmaid. And then I'm staying in London for a pitch.

So, umm.... no normality. In between generally being very very busy I am trying to keep to the dieting straight and narrow but sometimes my backside is just to wide for a skinny crevice and I can't make it through. Yesterday was weigh in and.... I lost 1/4 of a pound. Ha! I could sneeze more than that. However, it's not a gain.

I'm not too worried about it all because the reality of the situation is this... I am still trying. I'm only 3lbs heavier than my lightest ever and I am still keeping on. Since last weigh in I went to one spinning class and one evening I cycled to a meeting I had to go to. That was probably a 7 mile round trip. Not too sure as I broke my speedo!  Sob.  So two workouts. That was it. Oh and a few miles here on there on the bike. Big wow.

By the time next weigh in rolls around I'll have  managed to squeeze in a 6 mile cycle, two gym workouts and a spinning class. That's a bit better. And it's all I can do. That's the long and the short of what I am getting at. I'm by no means doing as much as I could but I'm still doing something. If I can stop eating crap in between meals then I should be able to work with that. I should be able to lose weight.  I'd love to lose a solid pound or more next week - in time for the wedding. There is no reason I shouldn't be able to.


Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 178.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.25 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 25.75 pounds

More stripping

When I blogged yesterday about the whole stripper thing I was feeling alright about it. Annoyed and I had a bad taste in my mouth but not much more. And then I spoke to TB.

I told him pretty much what I said I would: that I didn't like it, it didn't make me feel good and I thought it was tacky. He said, "I know". But I don't think he did know and I put down the phone after the call feeling really wound up about it all. I'm pretty stressed about work right now too and the two things combined just sent me into a downward spiral.

It's not often I get into a funk but last night I was on a proper downer and teetering on being really upset. I meant to go the gym but I couldn't face it. I just wanted to crawl under the covers and forget about everything.

TB called me around 11pm as we always speak before going to sleep. That was why he called me at 2.30am the other night. We always call at bedtime - no matter what that bedtime is. After chatting about various other things he eventually asked me if I was alright and we began to chat about why I wasn't happy.

I explained that I felt really horrible about the whole thing and couldn't understand why he had done it. I am not happy at all about the fact he was alone with a naked woman who was dancing for him. He said he knew it wasn't good and that's why he called me the next morning before work. I forgot to mention he rang me at 7.50am the next morning too. He said he woke up and remembered all about it and felt bad and that's why he called me.

I wish he'd told me that at the time, which I also told him. We chatted on a bit more about it all and I wrapped it all up with, "I would never tell you what you could and couldn't do but I think paying for a dance is not cool and it made me feel weird. If you're ever in that situation again then I hope you would think more carefully about what you do."

So it's over and done with and I feel a lot better. It's really not that big a deal now that I've had a chance to let the dust settle. I'm glad I said what I did and that is that. TB did make a very valid point after we had dissected the whole thing. We're going on a boozy night out tomorrow. He said; "Please don't get drunk and fall out with me about it."

Good point, TB. It's done and I must remember that.

Weigh in

Okay - we have a number. And that number is 0.5. I'm half a pound down from where I was two weeks ago.

I have no idea what weight I was last week - it might well have been up on the week before - so I am happy to take the half pound off. This means that today I'm sitting at 12stone 10.75lbs. That's just 3.25lbs off my lightest ever and 2.5 off the two stone mark.  That is nothing! I could lose that in a few weeks if I keep the focus.

Not only am I back to working out 5 days a week (well, until next week went work life and social life go totally mental - have I told you I am going to see Erasure?!) but I'm back to the simple meals of fish and pile of veggies for dinner, fruit for snacking and lots of coffee. I know the coffee thing isn't really that good for you but I love it and it helps distract me from other food.

I felt pretty wobbly last week (physically wobbly, not mentally) especially around the tummy area, which is not usually my problem area but I'm glad to say I'm feeling better this week and I feel confident about pushing on and waving goodbye to those pesky 3lbs that just won't take the hint!

Now, I want to chat about something completely unrelated. Strippers. I know, where did that come from? I'll give you one guess. TB.

Last night (a Tuesday night, no less) TB called me at 2.30am. Totally shitfaced. A few after work drinks escalated into a very boozy night and he was hammered. He then reveals he had been to a strip bar. Not a big group of boys, just two of them. And he paid one of them £10 for a dance. I know his mate and I know it would have been his idea but still, I'm not happy about this.

Normally, I don't give a shit if my boyfriend goes to the strippers - if it's part of a big group and a lairy boys night out. When there are just two of them on a Tuesday night - and he pays for a dance... Well, I just think it's a bit seedy. Not to mention the fact I am watching the money like a hawk at the moment and he is giving £10 to a stripper. That is pretty unrelated as it's his money and he can do what he likes with it - it just infuriates me.

I have no doubt in my mind that he would cheat on me. Ever. In fact, while there is no way I would do it to him either I do think I'm the higher risk of the two of us. There is no risk - at all, but if I HAD to name one of us, it would be me.

I just don't like it though. I think it's seedy and sad and it doesn't make me feel that great about myself. He knows I'm not happy about it - I made this clear when we were speaking last night. I'm not going to bang on about it today when we speak when he is sober as I don't want him to not tell me if he goes, but I do need to tell him how it makes me feel.


Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 178.75 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 25.5 pounds
PS) Think these stats were all wrong last weigh in - sorted now.

It was the night before weigh in

Back to the old routine.

Tomorrow is weigh in - the first in two weeks. I have no idea what number I'll see on the scale in the morning.  14 days ago I was 12 stone 11.25lbs. If I'm the same again I'll be quite happy. I got back on track last week and I'd say I'm operating at about 85% of the intensity I was - before my wobble.

The weekend was not the healthiest. I was on a hen weekend and there was a lot of wine and there were a lot of cupcakes. And a few other naughties. I hadn't eaten a whole lot during the day on Sunday and so when I got home I got stuck into some filthy supernoodles. Oh, they were so good and cheap and nasty.

On a complete aside let me say, I am so glad the hen weekend is over. I'm a bridesmaid (not the chief bridesmaid I might add) and pretty much organised the whole thing from beginning to end. What a fricking nightmare. Why can't people just do what they are told, send me what they are supposed to send me and generally stop questioning me! Never again. I am never organising a hen do.

So here is the exercise run down for the last week...

Wednesday: 10 mile cycle
Thursday: Spinning
Friday: 35 mins weights workout
Saturday/Sunday: Nothing
Monday: Gym workout - resistance, 2.2 mile cycle
Tuesday: Spinning, 2.2 mile cycle