Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Lots of people tell the story of how and when they lost their virginity with horror and regret.
Not me. I was 15 when I started going out with Rolling Stone (he loved them and played the guitar). Although we were only young (he had just turned 16) it was a pretty intense relationship, even more so as we went to different schools (my street cred went through the roof!).
We had done everything but the deed itself so it was only a matter of time. We waited until I was 16 and we made a plan - he stayed over at mine one weekend when my parents were away. Everything was perfect, he was caring and relaxed. I was.... too nervous. I just couldn't do it. He was great about it and we just cuddled. What a star.
A few weeks later we were at a party and stayed the night. We'd had a few drinks and without the pressure of knowing 'that was the night' it happened.
Now, don't get me wrong, there weren't fireworks- in fact it wasn't really enjoyable at all but it happened with someone I loved (yes, I loved him) and I felt safe and secure with him, until he two timed me and dumped me four months later - wanker- but that's another story. Even though he turned out to be a dickhead, I was still glad that he had been the one and it wasn't just some fumble with someone I barely knew.
I'm now 30. That's 14 years of sex. Okay - not constant bonking, I've not got that much energy! But it's 14 years of learning about what other people like, how to please my partner, what I like and what gets me hot and bothered. I've had varied lovers over the years, men my own age, older men, younger men, men who've been with a lot of people, men with big dicks, men with nothing much to report, men who've been circumcised and men who shave everything off (their hair!). I'd just like to point out that some men fulfill one or more of the above criteria - there's not loads and loads that I've been with!
Sex with Moonraker was really good but it wasn't amazing. It felt like we got into a rut really early on and that we just didn't connect in that area. When I hit him with my list of questions when he asked me to give us another go, one of them was: "What about the sex. Do you think we can create something that wasn't there in the first place. Can that get better?" What he revealed during that chat is that he said he didn't know how to make me orgasm. "So what, you just gave up?" I challenged back. Half the fun is finding out how, I told him.
I know my body and I know what works for me - I could have told him! Jesus. But as it happens, I don't know my body quite as well as I thought I did. 14 years of what I thought I knew have been blown out of the water in one night - step forward one Toyboy.
Toyboy and I have a fantastic sex life. Really really good. In fact, I would go so far as to say it's the best I've ever had. Lucky me! I didn't think it could get any better - until Sunday night. That boy is talented. As all ladies know, there are two ways in which a woman can normally reach the place that makes her legs wobble and her feet tingle. I have only ever been a woman who travels one path. Well, not any more. Somehow Toyboy has discovered more about my body in seven weeks than I have in my whole life! I always thought I was trickier than the average bear to convince to reach the point of no return but that couldn't be further from the truth. And it's almost on demand too! Four times in about 10 minutes! Un BEE lievable.
We're going away for a long weekend this week and will spend five nights together, the most to date. I hope the hotel has got thick walls...