I want it all and I want it now

The kitchen dining room updates are quite frankly, dull DULL DULL, they have been going on that long but to be honest, that's the main thing in my life these days so an update you shall get!

Fridge/freezer is in and it it huge! We built the units to go around it and it sticks out from said units much more than I expected. I had a bit of a strop last night when I realised how it was going to look. It's frustrating when you've planned your dream kitchen and it's all sleek and lovely and then a honking great appliance fucks up the vibe - and we chose to put it there. So I was pretty miffed, which father in law witnessed as he's been helping decorate loads.  Little did he know that at the same time I've decided I don't think the colour for the walls in the dining room are right - and Father in Law had just put on the first coat that very night.

I'm going to let TB have the pleasure of telling him "we" have changed our minds! God, I am such a madame.

I'm also beginning to panic somewhat about how much time we have left before the baby is here to get all the house stuff done we want to. It''s going to be a really tight squeeze and I really am expecting a lot from TB. He's not had any time to himself for months.

Last night he pointed out that when the baby comes I'll want help in the evenings and weekends but he can't give that to me if he's busy trying to sort the nursery  - which involves putting up a wall to make one room into two, and making a whole new door. And then all the snash that follows, new plugs, insulation, skirting boards... and so on. It's not a weekend job. Nothing in our house ever is.

So I've just done a week by week plan so see what is actually achievable - let's just see if TB agrees!

It's all progress

This weekend was very enjoyable. Friday kicked off with the delivery of a dozen red roses. Aw shucks. He's a naughty monkey though. Spending money on that sort of thing. I've still got last year's (on the mantelpiece) which I dried. They are lovely though. Lucky girl.

Then it was time for some pampering. Hello red, glittery gel nails (which were a Christmas present) and then we headed off to my homeland for a leaving do, via my folks. 

The next day, armed with a few of my childhood soft toys which my mum looked out, including my first teddy (called, Teddy - OBVS), we went pram shopping. Bloody hell, what a minefield. A very expensive minefield. After a lot of consideration, clicking on and off of parts, and wheeling around of potential baby wagons, we decided to bite the bullet and just go for the one we liked - no more faffing. It's all on order apart from the car seat and base which we took away then and there. Teddy helped us work out how the hell you use it.

I have to say, getting the pram has made me more excited. I had a moment when we were back at home, figuring the car seat out. In three months time, there is going to be a baby, for real, in there. Everything feels like it's speeding up, I'm going to blink and we'll be parents. Holy moly.

Which means we really need to crack on with the house stuff. We are so close to being finished with the kitchen/dining room. TB and his dad got on with painting the dining room part yesterday which has made a big difference.

I weighed myself on Friday. Oh my. Oh ho ho hohohaaaaaa. 2 stone. I've put on two stone since the love kitten came into being. Christ. That's quite a lot - especially considering I've still got three months of serious baby growth to go. In fact, it's not quite a lot. It's freaking LOADS. My mum, so helpfully, pointed out that she could see it on my face, when I saw her. That's really pissed me off, actually. Why bother mentioning it? My bump is pretty neat so two stone can't be blamed on that! 

Any pregnancy stuff I read now refers to the fact I am eating lots of healthy foods. Am I? Am I really? Sure, my meals are healthy enough but any notion of snacking on fruit has long gone out the window. Case in point, I just threw a BIG bag of minstrels down my neck like they were nothing. I've not been to the gym for about three weeks thanks to a busy schedule but this really has to change. Thursday I am going. I will empty that fruit bowl (and not by throwing the rotting contents in the bin). 

PS) Pic of my big boy just cause he's the boss

My Happy Place

The grouting isn't done. The dining room isn't painted. All the woodwork still needs painted. All the plug sockets need wired up. The new fridge is still in the garage and we've still got open floorboards. BUT, the kitchen is functional! I have a sink, hob and oven. Better still, I have a dishwasher!  So bloody happy.

I love to jam. Strawberry, bramble, chilli.... but my signature preserve is my four fruit marmalade. I was worried I was going to miss marmalade season this year, thanks to lack of a working hob but no, I made it! I made the season and I made my marmalade, all 34 jars of the stuff.

The radio was on, the marmalade was on a rolling boil, and I was organizing jars as the winter sun was streaming in my kitchen window. That is my happy place.

Orange you happier?

So I've had a word with my face and I'm feeling a bit brighter.

I'm usually quite a steady kinda person, not really prone to mood swings so this is all kinda new to me. I've had a couple of really REALLY busy days at work but it's actually felt great to be so busy, getting shit done. Too much time to think about things is never good.

I'm working from home today and the plumber is FINALLY here to get the sink connected up as well as the hob. Holy macaroni, I'm going to have a functional kitchen later today. And here is the best bit.... DISHWASHER! I've actually done no dishes for almost two days as it should have been in by now and it's kinda like a protest/sign of hope - that things would be working. Cannot wait to load that baby up!

The end is is sight for the kitchen. We're onto woodwork, prepping walls and unit cornicing. It's all deathly dull but it does mean that we're maybe about two weeks away from it all being finished. I cannot actually put into words how this makes me feel. Every single room, bar one, has been affected and I can't wait to get the house back to normal! That is for around an hour and then we need to crack on with decorating our bedroom. At least that doesn't involve knocking down walls! Mind you.... we are going to get two velux windows put into our eaves in another bedroom before the baby comes - so the disruption continues!

We've got a quiet weekend ahead. TB is on a night out on Friday and so if I can get my hands on some Seville oranges I'll start my four fruit marmalade prep, now that I've got a hob I can actually make it on. It's my signature preserve (yes, I have a signature preserve - don't you?!) so I'll be gutted if I've missed the orange boat. 

Face like a wet weekend

So my exercise regime has kinda gone out the window. Not entirely but it's not how I imagined things would be  - a year ago when I was kicking the arse out of it all.

I'm going to the gym/seeing my personal trainer once a week - or thereabouts. And that's it. Today I walked along to the gym, did my weights/stretches workout and then walked home. It's probably around 3 miles all in. That's as much walking as I want to do though as my back gets sore. Really low down, almost into my bottom, it gets sore after less than a mile!

I would consider doing more but there are two reasons this isn't actually happening. 1. Every evening we're working on the kitchen and those walls won't sand themselves. 2. I can't be arsed. That's really about the size of it. Simply as that. I'm still very active (the DIY is seeing to that) but actual exercise... not really happening.

I'm also feeling so flipping hormonal just now it's not even funny. One minute I'm super excited about everything that's happening and the next, I am totally down in the dumps. Yesterday TB commented that a radiator I've spend a long time painting, wasn't good enough. Well that sent me into a flood of tears that lasted about half an hour. Just feel all over the place - and not in control of it at all. And when I do feel down, I feel guilty that I'm feeling this way - and also it worries me what things will be like when the baby comes.

Bumpy Ride

Finally, there is a more than just a tummy that looks choc full of Christmas pies. It's taken me well into my fifth month, but at last, we have a bump.

I won't lie, I've been excited and searching for the bump since the day we found out I was pregnant. I've been searching hard. And although my shape changed and I filled out a bit, there really wasn't much to see.  Maybe because I'm not a skinny wee thing, or maybe because I have child bearing hips, or maybe it's because I'm 5ft 7 - but really until about ten days ago, if you didn't know there was a baby in there, you wouldn't know. You know? In fact, I started this post yesterday and since then, actually overnight - there has been some serious growth. No wonder I was flipping knackered yesterday!

I work alongside a girl who is also preggers and is just two weeks behind me. She is very tall and is maybe a size 22/24. Because our pregnancies are pretty much at exactly the same time, there is nothing that happens to me that hasn't happened to her. And I have to confess, the way she is constantly rubbing her 'bump' confuses me. There really is no bump to speak of - just her tummy that was there before. For some reason I find it really disconcerting. It takes very little to annoy me at the best of times but all this exaggerated rubbing of what is essentially - just tummy - is about to send me over the edge.

And then there is the touching. I had no idea I'd feel like this but I am totally freaked out by anyone trying to touch the bump. The first time it happened was before Christmas when there still really wasn't much of a bump to speak of, or cop a feel of. I was just leaving the office when a colleague I really don't know that well, came towards me with hand outstretched asking if she could touch 'bumpy'. She was coming at me to feel what was was very little than my normal jiggle. Emm, how about no? I actually stopped her and said: "I'm not really into touching".  I'm sorry but her hand was going to be just a few inches above my pants. I think not. I'm not okay with that. On Tuesday the receptionist at work who normally sees me with my coat on, saw me without my outer layers on. She is such a sweet person and before I knew it she had a little rub. Everyone is just excited and happy for me,  which is lovely but the touching is just too much.

You would never touch someone on their tummy that wasn't pregnant. It's just not okay. Similarly, it seems to socially acceptable for people to say things like: "Let's have a look at you" and blatantly look at your tummy. The other day at work someone commented they thought it looked like the bump was getting bigger. The next thing someone from the back of the room said: "Let's see!" and the whole room turned to scrutinise my shape. It's like your are suddenly fair game for people to comment on, as if you're not an actual person. And the bump that they all saw got waved away with: "That's nothing, that's not a bump." Right, okay, thanks for that. I'll just go back to feeling like a total frump then.

And breathe - I just had to get that out my system. I'm being over sensitive, that combined with my usual tolerance level of zero is making me extremely short tempered.

Despite all that I am feeling really positive and excited. Our kitchen renovations have romped on apace this week - the worktop is in and half the tiling is done! Tomorrow the hob and the sink get plumbed in  - I will no longer have to cook and wash up in the spare bedroom! Whooo Hoooo!

 

Ranty pants

I am SO glad the new year is here and some of my most favourite bloggers have been inspired to get back into sharing their plans, thoughts and goals.

This is the reason why I started blogging, as a way of sorting through my thoughts and to keep me mindful about healthy eating and exercise. Those are the kind of blogs I love to read and find inspiring. I've been lucky enough to follow some people for years and keeping up with their lives means a lot to me and I love reading about what's going on. To get that kind of peek into someone's life is a privilege and I often think about these ladies when I'm going about my day-to-day.

What I don't love is opening up my blog reader and seeing post after post which quite frankly, bore me to tears. For example...

• What's in my handbag
• Make-up reviews
• Holiday posts
• Weekend away/places to visit posts
• Product reviews
• How to...

Boring with a capital B. It used to be you couldn't move for blogs that were about actual people's feelings and insights in their lives. Now it's all tutorials and consumerism. I'm a 34 year old woman, who could not care less about what is in your chuffing handbag. Does anyone? At ALL?

And paid for product reviews? Okay, do it once or twice with something relevant to your blog, but not once a week. If I wanted to read an advertorial I would buy a magazine.

It's my own fault though, I'm following these blogs. I think it's time for a refresh. If there are any good blogs out there that you reckon I should take a swatch at, please do let me know.

Packing it on and in

It's been another weekend of DIY delights. As well as sanding down and filling this door, I've painted radiators, painted walls, wielded pollyfilla and done a load of general house snash. You know, the usual washing, hoovering blah blah blah.

We're now in the fiddly job stage which I hate. Kitchen units going in makes a big difference quickly. Prepping this door for painting took flippin ages and there ain't much difference to see. It WILL look superb when it's done but right now - dullzzzzzz.

This was all broken up by going out for dinner with friends. I find that if I drink a small glass of red wine really quickly it feels amazing! The excitement. My liver must be loving me right now. 5 months off the booze... it must wonder what the hell is going on.

I saw my PT on Thursday for the first time in about two and a half weeks. I'm still finding it no problem at all to do everything. The workout isn't hard mind you. 10 mins on the x-trainer, a series of weights (split squats, leg presses, triceps, shoulders) and then various strengthening work (bridges/dead bugs). I was really keen to see him though as my lower back is really beginning to hurt. When I was at my fattest I used to have a sore lower back quite often - well here it is again! Last week when I spent two days sitting at my desk it was pigging agony and I had to do some stretches in in the stationery cupboard! So I've got exercises to do at home. I NEED to make sure I do them as I've got another four months to go  - and by that time I will be huge so it'll be sore even when I do have the baby!

I've sort of been weighing myself most weeks and things are naturally on the up, but they aren't as bad as they could be! Pre-christmas I was about 13stone 12. After Christmas I was 14 stone 2. 4lbs on in two weeks is pretty good going - especially as it's about a pound a week you're recommended to gain at this stage. This week I've pretty much stayed the same. I'm happy with that.

I'm really only working out about once a week though, and I'd like to up that. Even twice would be good. I've been stuck waiting in for various tradesmen and deliveries last week and today - and the evenings are spent on the house. Excuses though - maybe I could venture for a swim tomorrow straight after work...

2014 - What a belter

Well here we are, a new year. Another, new year. Isn’t time a funny thing. It can seem so far away… next month, next year, five years away. And then… it’s here. A place we could barely imagine is suddenly our reality.

I can remember so clearly a conversation I had with TB back in 2011, about marriage and babies and the thought that I would probably be waiting until I was 34 for those things to happen seemed forever away. But here we are, in no time at all – and I have everything I could hope for.

2014 was a pretty big year for me and because of so many wonderful moments, it does seem like it was quite a long year.

Marriage

Safe to say this was one of the two biggest events of my whole life! Organising and planning our wedding was definitely hard work at times and there were several occasions where I would have gladly punched various people, but the end result was a weekend that was more than I could ever have hoped for. From the relaxed ceremony filled with laughter and tears, to the hilarious speeches and a dress that I am still in love with, I could not have asked for more.

But that was the wedding. The marriage? Well, the marriage kicks the wedding into a cocked hat. We’re almost 9 months into our first year and whoever said the first year is the hardest is the hardest, must have been in a shitty marriage. Our first year is amazing. If it’s possible I love him even more and every day I can’t wait for the end of the working day so I can see him. I am so lucky and so excited to spend the rest of our lives together.  You may now be sick.

Work

I’ve had a good year workwise – on par with my best yet and say I that purely relating to fiscal matters. As a freelancer it’s mostly all about the money. I really enjoy what I do but one eye is always on the bank account. You see there is also the small matter of maternity pay, or lack of. As I am self employed I only get government statutory. I’ve always known this so over the past 18 months (yeah, I was erring on the side of caution) I’ve been saving like a maddie so I will be able to take a good six – nine months off when the baby comes.

Fitness and Body Image

I could write an essay on this one topic. Overall, I have felt amazing this year. Size 14 jeans and running a 10k in 1 hour. Hoo Ha! I am so proud of myself and my dedication which saw me feel and look the best I think I have ever. For once I felt good about myself all the time. Getting dressed to go to any event no longer filled me with dread about what to wear. Being slimmer and fitter made me feel more confident and I was more relaxed about things as a result.

I also loved the challenge of getting there. No, not the weeks when I was faced with temptation and scoffed a load of naughties, but the weeks when I forced myself to run longer, faster and as a result I could say “I just ran 4 miles”, which made me feel invincible. I promised myself I would run a 10k before my wedding and I did. Forget the time it took me;  I love that I made up my mind I would do it – and I did.

I’ve ended the year in a totally different place. Being pregnant has affected me more than I thought it would. I thought I could keep up the exercise regime and really stay on top of things. Yes, I’m still exercising and plan to for as long as possible (albeit it just one or two times a week) but my body is changing and I need to adapt to that in a more drastic way than I thought I would have to.  I’ve definitely not been as strict with my eating as I should have been and over the last few months I’ve been very good to myself. Anything I’ve wanted, I’ve had. I learned a lot this year though – mostly that I can be consistent with my eating and I do eat a very healthy diet. I’m looking forward to getting into that groove again – which has already begun to happen this year.

Home

Ever since the first time we went to view our house, we knew doing the kitchen up was a must. Nothing to do with style but the state of the manky, 30 year old pine cabinets. But not only did we decide to do it up, we’ve knocked a wall down through  to the dining room and created a super amazing dining/kitchen space. WE (but mostly TB) have been working hard on it he’s almost finished putting the cabinets in! I am beyond excited for it to be finished as not only will it look SO good,  I won’t have to wash the dishes in a basin in the spare bedroom anymore. Hello dishwasher!

As soon as we finish the kitchen it’s all systems go with our bedroom – which only has 1/3 of a laminate floor thanks to sorting kitchen electrics from above. Won’t be sorry to have that replaced though!

Relationships

I’m really lucky to have many wonderful, female friends and I was lucky enough to see a lot of them over not just the festive period but throughout the year, what with my hen do and the wedding. But it struck me the other day when catching up with one of my closest friends that I now only see a couple of times a year (whereas we used to live in each other’s pockets) I miss having a close friend that lives near me. I’ve got a packed social life and I can’t fit all my friends in as it is, but sometimes, when you’ve got an hour – you just wanna pop over to  your pal’s and have a right good chin wag.  God, I want it all, don’t I?

Baby

Hand in hand with getting married, the best thing to happen to me in 2014, is getting pregnant. I am getting so excited for it and I can't wait until we get to meet our baby. But I am also not excited for people trying to touch my bump - which is still pretty small and jiggles like any normal tummy. I am also more than happy to have time to crack on with all the DIY and decorating! 

Over the past few weeks I've been feeling it move all the time which is kinda weird, but exciting! Last night TB managed to feel it kick for himself, following instructions from me to 'push your fingers in here, harder!'

Let’s finish with some pics from the last few weeks. 

Festive living

I totally forgot to weigh myself today but I do have quite positive news on that front - the weight gain seems to have slowed a little! Horay! The past month went a little something like this....

• 13 stone 6.5
• 13 stone 8.25
• 13 stone 11.25
• 13 stone 8.5

So really, I stayed the same for about three weeks! That's a  result in my book! I've been seeing my PT once a week and he's also given me some exercises to do at home to help try and strengthen my back/bottom so that when I do (eventually) begin to get a bump and the natural way to stand is to stick your bottom out, I've got some support there. It's only 10 mins of exercises a night  - I just need to get my backside in gear and actually do them! Ha, see I made a wee joke there? Overall I've gained just under a stone - and we're a week away from halfway people! That really isn't as bad as it could be. And let's not forget my boobs were a B cup, I am now sporting a rock hard D. TB is delighted.

I went to spinning on Friday. Felt totally fine at the time and then about 4pm I totally nose dived. Felt pretty sick and was just so flippin tired. My PT says I just need to take it down a notch on the high intensity stuff. Hard to take it down a notch in a spin class when the instructor is shouting at you to go faster and harder! In stark contrast to last year when I ran 5miles on Christmas Eve, Tuesday's PT session is my last workout pre Christmas.

Man, I am really missing the intense exercise. I forced myself to get ito the right head space for it and lived it properly for 9 months. I love a challenge and although I struggle with the weight loss side of things I was so proud of how I kicked the arse out of running, and general exercise last year and I felt SO good about myself. I just need to relax my mindset and know that I will have a mega challenge, that I can totally handle, (positive thinking!) ahead of me once the baby is born - and I can muster up the energy to leave the house!  

Hair. I am really loving having shorter hair. I just took this snap this second to try and show it off. Excuse the odd lip purse that I'm rocking. I'm finding that I do prefer it when it's curled a little but as a result I am fast losing feeling in my finger tips as I keep burning myself with the ruddy wand. Have just ordered a heat resistant glove.

All three of my pussycats are just being so fricking lovely just now. So cuddly and just unbelievably cute. Papa Lazarou really does think he is a baby. Every night he insists on cuddling right into my neck and going to sleep there. Yeah, just look at my face - I love it!

Kitchen. We are getting there! The plastering is all done and we have almost finished the base painting of it all (not the dining room part - that decoration will come after we get the units in, I think. This weekend we'll hopefully finish painting (colour on the walls and the final ceiling coat) and then we can start getting the units in! That makes me so happy! The flooring guy was here this morning measuring up so although that is the last piece of the puzzle, it's in the pipeline!

Baby talk

Now that I am ‘with child’, I've noticed there is a phrase people use time and time again. No –one asks me how I am, they all ask – how are you keeping.  

I think it’s a special phrase just for pregnant women. There also seems to be a list of vocabulary that is used by people who have babies, which I find… well, it’s just wording that makes my skin crawl. Let me elaborate.

·         Filled her/his nappy. Holy crap, pardon the pun. Could this be any more descriptive? Why can’t people just say “I think he has done the toilet”. Or if they must communicate that it’s more than just a wee wee, use the words “number” and “two”.

·         On the boob. Again, is there really any need? What’s wrong with just saying feeding/breast feeding.

·         Change your bum. This makes no sense. Nappy. You change a nappy.

·         Put him/her down. It’s a baby going for a sleep, not an animal you are taking to the vet.

To be honest, there are many MANY phrases and words that really get under my skin – not just ones that are pregnancy related but these really do take the biscuit, or rusk, if you will. 

Chop

I totally forgot to mention I got the chop!

My hair has been long for years. About five years and for several of those it has been really long. But no more. About a week ago I got it whacked off and am now sporting shoulder length  tresses. Most enjoyable. I am loving the shorter do and for once haven’t had a total freak out. I am however, now having to deal with many burns on my hands as I do prefer it with a curl and so the red hot wand is a regular occurrence of a morning.  When I get it (and my face) looking good I shall post a pic.

I knocked out another 5k yesterday! Well, knocked out is a bit of an exaggeration.  I completed a 5k without stopping – with a very slow time of 35 mins. It was a gorgeous sunny and frosty day – those are my favourite running days and make me think of this time last year when a 4 mile run was the norm. Yesterday though, I felt really sluggish. My feet feel like they are just lifting of the ground and no more, like I’m dragging myself along. Whereas once, I was throwing myself round the streets like a whippet. A whippet I tell you! Well, carrying an extra stone and a baby (which is the size of a 5 inch turnip now!) will do that to ya. I did it though and felt really good for it; maybe not in my body but in the old noggin. There is life is the heifer yet!

I was planning to hit up spinning tomorrow but I've woken up today with a really sore throat and feel totally knackered. So we shall see. I don’t want to overdo it as I have two nights out this weekend. Oh yeah, two big ones baby. Sure, I’ll be on the soda water and lime and will be driving home to my folks’ place afterwards but regardless, I am gonna squeeze into a dress which hopefully doesn't make me look like a sausage escaping its skin, slather on the slap and hit the town!