Monday, 25 July 2011

White Whiner

Saturday night was very messy. Too messy.

I keep thinking about it and I'm keep getting waves of dread and embarrassment.

TB and I were in his hometown, catching up with a lot of his friends at an afternoon barbeque. This was the first time I meeting a lot of them and of course, I was ready to be charming and impress them all. The charm offensive was in full flow and it was going so well. I then had my fourth glass of wine on an empty stomach.  Things went downhill.

To be honest, it all stemmed from TB pissing me off. There were a few toy guns with plastic suckers that you could shoot out of them. In a childish 'I'm showing off to my mate' moment he managed to shoot me in the face. I went nuts. Totally nuts. It wasn't sore but I was so angry. I know I overreacted but it was too late. That sort of set the tone for the rest of the night and we ended up falling out for most of the night - and I can't even really remember what about! I just remember being angry. That's it, I'm off the white wine.

What I can remember is that I was flirting outrageously with some of his friends. Not cool. We talked it all through the next morning and I decided to tell him everything that is getting on my nerves. That sounds like there is a lot, but it's actually just one thing- the mothering.

I know this is partly my fault as it happened with The Highlander too. When I love someone I want to look after them and that boils down to the minutia of life such as cooking and washing. Because of our set up, I end up spending a lot more time at his, working from his flat and so it's easy for me to stick on a wash or make the tea ready for him coming home from work. I don't mind doing that and actually, I quite like it. What does piss me off is arriving at his and he's not even bothered to make one iota of effort to make the place look presentable and it's a complete shit pit. I just get the feeling that he reckons if he can't be arsed doing something then if he leaves it long enough then I'll do it. I don't think that is true very often but occasionally it does feel like he's on the verge of taking the piss.

Of course, I told him all this. He took it on the chin. But it's all true. Fact. So what's he going to say?

This morning he needed a work shirt and trousers ironed. He always asks me to do it. Not this morning. He's taken it on board. Good boy.

He told me that he feels that I often mention that one of his mates is flirting with me (yup, that rings some bells) but I don't seem to do anything about it. True . But what does he want me to do? Walk away? Okay, that's me being defensive. I should play it down and bit and not make a point of telling him about it. Moonraker used to get annoyed with me for the same thing and so I know I'm guilty of it. 

I'm glad we told each other what's getting on our nerves but I'm sorry it was in such boozy and angry circumstances. I love him so much and we have such a great relationship that negative spikes like that are horrible. It's done with. We move on.


  1. I do the telling a boyfriend that one of his friends is flirting with me too. I wonder why we do it? Is it for attention or do we really want him to defend our honour and prove his love by standing up to his friend?

    Most of the time I think men just think 'good, someone else finds my girlfriend hot like me' and do nothing about it!

  2. It's a really bad habit of mine. I think I do it because I want to show off to him that other people fancy me and so that he knows he should feel lucky to have me!

  3. We have also Had Words at times for the 'showing off in front of my friends' thing. Not big, not clever, not having it!

  4. It doesn't seem to affect me but I have a couple of friends who won't have more than a couple of glasses of white wine and never at a party. They say that it makes them arsy and a bit agressive (which they are definitely not usually). So that could have been the unfortunate catalyst. One to remember I suppose.

    But isn't it good in the long run that you can address problems and them move on? I could not do that with D as he would not accept even the most banal of criticisms and would dish it straight back to me in spades. So I was shocked when I was able to have a row with Rich but then move on and even more shocked when, as you noted with TB, he took something I'd said on board and adjusted accordingly. It's no more than you would do but it's still brilliant!

    Good luck with the upcoming WI.

    Lesley xx


Go on then, spill.