Do it for a Kit Kat, at least

Why do you (and when I say you, I mean me) spend hours in the gym, cook yourself healthy meals, take the time to mentally keep it together.... and then mindlessly eat a load of crisps on Friday night.

Follow that with a weekend of picking. I mean, make sure most of your meals are pretty spot on, and watch the alcohol but be sure to nibble on some chocolate, have a few handfuls of nuts and quickly wolf down a slice of pizza - and don't forget all those boiled sweets too. Oh yeah, and the custard creams - the most average of biscuits.

Grrrrr. Stupid picking! Those are all things I didn't need to have and wasn't put in a position where I felt I couldn't say no, or was inconveniencing others.

Exercise is shot this week as well simply because life is too busy! Here's a quick recap of weigh in to weigh in.

• Wednesday, 45 minute spin class & 10 min run
• Thursday, nothing
• Friday, 1 hour squash
• Saturday, nothing
• Sunday, nothing
• Monday, 45 minute cycle
• Tuesday, last chance workout i.e. kill myself in the gym

Ermmmm, okay - just re-read that and there is actually quite a bit in there (and the weekend did involve bedroom aerobics). I was just getting a bit panicky as although I'm cycling tonight I've not been able to get to the gym for three days (I know, I want to punch myself sometimes. Oooh - three days, imagine!). I suppose I'm feeling a bit frustrated as I feel like the chances of seeing a loss this week are now down the pan thanks to the weekends silly eats and it's only four weeks until I go on my hols to France - and I turn 31!

Am totally knackered (thanks to a very early morning train home from TB's) but I must be off and fit my lights onto mon velo. Just getting into the swing of le francais!

A bientot!


PS) MD got married yesterday. I dreamt about him on Saturday and Sunday night. Just that we were at an event together that we both help out at, and I congratualted him with a big hug. That's probably what will happen when I see him next. 

I don't know why he's played on my mind like that. I do think about him from time to time (obviously since I dreamt about him). I know that there is some sort of.... I don't know what it is- just that there is a something, not a lot, but something, between us. The difference between us is that when I saw him five weeks ago and he wanted more from me than a quick hug goodnight, I couldn't and wouldn't give him that. I love and am in love with TB. I couldn't and wouldn't do that to him. MD was getting married but he could do that to her.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm the only one he's cheated on her with in the past. I know I'm not. I just hope he's made a decision that will make him happy and make him act accordingly.