Weigh in

In one of my recent posts I listed some of my top tips. One of them, and arguably the most important, was to keep on keeping on.

My biggest dieting and exercising hurdle has always been keeping going and not giving up when things don't go my way, such as last week's unexpected gain of 1.5lbs.  I knew it wasn't a real gain but it would have been so easy to thrown the towel in, and a jar of nutella down my neck.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've lost 7 pounds or so and then because I've struggled a little and the scales haven't played ball I've given up. And where did that get me? Almost two stone up from my lowest weight and only a stone from my heavyweight title of 2005 when I weighed in at a stonking 15 stone and 6lbs.

This week was just another week in many when I kept going. I put the work in and avoided just about all of the pitfalls - did I tell you about the three pavlovas and toffee and custard donuts at the barbeque which I looked a longingly but didn't even have a sniff of?

And the payoff? Drumroll please..... 3.75lbs off! Waaaaaaa! I do believe that means I am 12 stone 9.75lbs. Ahhhhh thank you very much! A few things about that number. In 2006 I got down to 12 stone 9 (my scales then only registered whole pounds). That was for about a nanosecond. I am the lightest I have been for around 10 years. 10 years people! I need to dig out my old diaries as I lost 17lbs in first year at uni and I can't quite remember what the numbers were then.

Only 1.25 more pounds and I'll have hit the 2 stone mark. However, there's a whole  lotta gallivanting around before then. A week on Friday I head to London for four days and after that I'm off to Croatia for 11 days. I'd love to hit the 2 stone mark before Croatia. Could be tricky - especially as I'll be staying with friends in London and won't have my scales with me. However, I have a cunning plan...

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 177.75 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3.75 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 26.5 pounds

Who the hell knows

So tomorrow is yet another weigh in. I have no idea what to expect.

I've really pushed myself with my workouts and tonight at spinning, dear god, it was brutal. But  (yup, there is always a but) I drank far far too much on Saturday night. Admittedly I ate jack all but.... well, who the hell knows. I'm wearing clothes that I've unearthed from the back of the wardrobe so I've got nothing to use as a measure.

I gained an unexpected 1.5lbs last week so I'd hope that I'd lose those that at least. I just don't know. All will be revealed soon enough. I've got a mental couple of weeks coming up before I go on holiday which has been the milestone I've had in my head for getting down to a certain weight but until I see what the hell is going on tomorrow I don't know if I'll make it.

I just hope the following exercise was enough to keep me going in the right direction.

Wed: Circuits and 6.5 mile bike ride (with very heavy bag!)
Thurs: 2 miles on bike, gym workout (40 mins cardio mixed with lunges, squats, abs)
Fri: 5km (8.8kmph)
Sat & Sun: Nothing
Mon:  Circuits and 6.5 mile bike ride
Tues 6 mile bike ride and spinning

Get in my face

I thought I'd share one of my favourite recipes with you which I must eat at least twice a week. I have this Spanish omlette/frittata as my big meal of the day and I love love it.

I always have been an egg person and would quite happily eat them for every meal and so I really look forward to having this.

There are a few staple ingredients that I always use (eggs - of course, onion and peppers) but mostly it just depends what's on the go in my fridge.The quantities here are perhaps a bit big but we have...a whole red onion, a handful of sweetcorn, 1/3 of a red and 1/3 of a yellow pepper, a small chuck of low fat cheddar, a handful of spinach and one grated carrot. Not pictured is some milk which whisk the eggs into.  And of course, there is my beloved Fry Light. 

I'm not going to pretend there is a lot of finesse to this. It's a case of chucking everything (expect the cheese and eggs) into a very hot frying pan which has been sprayed with Fry Light until it's all softened down. Personally, I like a bit of bite in my peppers so not too long on the heat.

 

I then turn down the heat to medium, whisk up the eggs with some milk and gently pour into the pan.  After a few minutes it's all firm underneath but a bit wobbly on top so I scatter on the low fat cheese which has been grated and I fire it under the grill.

And here is the finished product. Not only is it protein packed and veg packed but it tastes great and it so filling. I try to avoid adding salt but sometime I go for a wee sprinkle into the egg mix or even nutmeg.

Check out the size of this (pretty messy) bad boy - it's a whole dinner plate.  Yum!

White Whiner

Saturday night was very messy. Too messy.

I keep thinking about it and I'm keep getting waves of dread and embarrassment.

TB and I were in his hometown, catching up with a lot of his friends at an afternoon barbeque. This was the first time I meeting a lot of them and of course, I was ready to be charming and impress them all. The charm offensive was in full flow and it was going so well. I then had my fourth glass of wine on an empty stomach.  Things went downhill.

To be honest, it all stemmed from TB pissing me off. There were a few toy guns with plastic suckers that you could shoot out of them. In a childish 'I'm showing off to my mate' moment he managed to shoot me in the face. I went nuts. Totally nuts. It wasn't sore but I was so angry. I know I overreacted but it was too late. That sort of set the tone for the rest of the night and we ended up falling out for most of the night - and I can't even really remember what about! I just remember being angry. That's it, I'm off the white wine.

What I can remember is that I was flirting outrageously with some of his friends. Not cool. We talked it all through the next morning and I decided to tell him everything that is getting on my nerves. That sounds like there is a lot, but it's actually just one thing- the mothering.

I know this is partly my fault as it happened with The Highlander too. When I love someone I want to look after them and that boils down to the minutia of life such as cooking and washing. Because of our set up, I end up spending a lot more time at his, working from his flat and so it's easy for me to stick on a wash or make the tea ready for him coming home from work. I don't mind doing that and actually, I quite like it. What does piss me off is arriving at his and he's not even bothered to make one iota of effort to make the place look presentable and it's a complete shit pit. I just get the feeling that he reckons if he can't be arsed doing something then if he leaves it long enough then I'll do it. I don't think that is true very often but occasionally it does feel like he's on the verge of taking the piss.

Of course, I told him all this. He took it on the chin. But it's all true. Fact. So what's he going to say?

This morning he needed a work shirt and trousers ironed. He always asks me to do it. Not this morning. He's taken it on board. Good boy.

He told me that he feels that I often mention that one of his mates is flirting with me (yup, that rings some bells) but I don't seem to do anything about it. True . But what does he want me to do? Walk away? Okay, that's me being defensive. I should play it down and bit and not make a point of telling him about it. Moonraker used to get annoyed with me for the same thing and so I know I'm guilty of it. 

I'm glad we told each other what's getting on our nerves but I'm sorry it was in such boozy and angry circumstances. I love him so much and we have such a great relationship that negative spikes like that are horrible. It's done with. We move on.

Weigh in

Oh dear. I said I would be happy if I stayed the same. What I didn't say is how I would feel if I put on 1.5lbs.

Yeah, I somehow put on a pound and a half. While it was unexpected and of course, I am disappointed I'm not really worried or stressing about it for the following reasons:

• Yes, I worked out 5 days out of 7 but two of those workouts were not as intensive as usual
• I ate a lot of sugar in the latter half of the week
• My body felt tired towards the end of the week
• I'm having a really heavy period that started 2 days before WI and is still going strong (that's a lot for me)
• I don't really think I've put on 1.5lbs of fat - I don't feel any bigger
• I drank quite a lot on Friday and some Pimms too on Sunday afternoon
• I was scrutinising my thighs in the mirrors at the gym while on the treadmill. They don't touch in the middle when I'm running!
• Muscles are sore this week from working out and so I know I'm still pushing myself
• This is just one week out of many and the overall trend is downwards
• I'm still in the 12 stone bracket - Waaaaaa!

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 181.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: + 1.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 22.75 pounds

Secret of my success

I'm feeling a bit negative. Nothing major. I'm going through a 'pissed off with living 100 miles away from TB',  moment, I'm a bit hormonal and on top that I didn't have a great weekend food wise. There were no massive binges or anything but I don't think I've been careful enough to see a loss on the scales tomorrow.

I find it really easy to lose sight of the good things and how in control I really am when I feel like this. To feel like a winner, I need to think like a winner and so I here are the secrets of my success*

• Protein, protein and more protein - eggs and fish from a large part of my diet.
• Snacking. Forget crackers, low fat crisps, cereal bars etc. I either have a few slices of cold meat or fruit.
• Exercise. Not only does it make me feel good and help weight loss but when I go to the gym I can see how I look and I'm reminded of how far I've come.
• Mix up the exercise and keep increasing the speed/weight/resistance etc.
• Frylight. I haven't used cooking oil (vegetable or olive in months)
• Frozen grapes - amazing snack
• Cut back on carbs. I rarely eat pasta, bread, rice or cereal. Instead of 2 scrambled eggs and a slice of toast I have 3 eggs and no toast.
• Planning. I plan my week so that I can fit in all my exercise. That is done before anything else gets in the way.
• I love booze. It does not help me lose weight. We've had to scale back our relationship significantly. Definite correlation between consumption and lack of weight loss.
• Squats and lunges. I'm telling you - my legs have never looked so good!
• Keep on keeping on. Consistency is key. 

And here is the week's exercise
Wed: 7 easy miles on the bike. 20 mins lunges/running/squats etc
Thurs: 1 hour badminton singles
Fri: 5km run and 10 mins squats/lunges
Sat: Nothing
Sun: 2 mile walk
Mon: Heavy resistance gym workout
Tues: Spinning and 10 mins cardio.

So not a particularly intensive workout week but a good mix in there none the less. Okay, will report on weigh in tomorrow but to be honest I'd be okay with staying the same.

*so far

Mummy Lovecat meet Mummy The Bear

Just a quickie today as I'm starting the weekend in approx 5 mins. Yee haa!

My legs have been really aching over the past few days. You know that really weary, tired feeling you sometimes get when you've been tromping round the shops in nothing but a pair of crappy pumps?

I dragged myself to badminton last night and played an hour of singles and today I managed to crack out at 5km, at my fastest speed this year- despite the tired legs. Might have something to do with not carrying an extra 24lbs!

I have just realised though, this is my 7th day of working out on the trot. Ah... that might explain it. Wednesday's workout out was pretty tame and short but it all adds up. So this weekend I am VERY excited about two whole rest days. Whoop! My legs are positively over the moon.

I also need all my energy on Sunday for the social headache that is.... my mum is meeting TB's parents! Long story short, she and I are going berry picking near their house on Sunday. We're literally about five mins away from where they stay so it would be a bit weird of us not to pop in to say hello. I'm sure it will all be fine but you know what it's like - smiles plastered and me being miss polite and will no doubt end up rabbiting on like a rabid parrot. I'd be proud to introduce my mum to anyone and I think TB's folks are brilliant so really there is nothing to worry about. Right?

Last quick diet note... I'm up at TB's this weekend and I don't know why but I find myself on the hunt for things to eat, little snacks and treats all.  the. time. I've not done any damage at this point but I need to remind myself that I can't be slacking. I was just getting some lunch stuff at the shops and wanted picked up some cheap choc ices that we both like but they were out of stock. I got the most similar type but they have caramel in them as well. I would gladly inhale the whole packet, cardboard and all, but instead I got some Ribena ice lollies for me. Okay - so they aren't as good but I'll still enjoy them.

Have a bon weekend mes amies. x

Weigh in

This weigh in update comes to you from the numbers 12 and 16.

12 because I am in the 12 stones! Waaaaaaaaa! 

16 because I am wearing a pair of size 16 jeans! Haaaaaaaaa!

It was a happy happy scene this morning in my bathroom as I weighed in at 12 stone 12lbs. That’s a loss of 3lbs from last week. Boom! I am so bloody happy. My big tantrum last week about staying the same was a complete waste of time as, of course, it all showed up this week.  I did work really hard though and battled through feeling shitey to gym it.  

When I was at boot camp (or, as I refer to it in real life, on my walking holiday) I got down to 12 stone 11lbs. That was for about 3 seconds and until I ingested the tiniest modicum of salt. Apart from then, the last time I was this weight was 2006 – six freaking years ago people! I feel fucking amazing. 

However, I was already feeling pretty damn smug as I went shopping yesterday. The whole affair was pretty stressful what with the bulging racks of sale stuff (which is all utter pish), the realisation that although I need a size 34 D bra to fit the size of my body, I just don’t have the goods to fill it anymore and not having a clue what to buy as I’m pretty much starting from almost nothing (hardly anything I have fits and what I do have is old and tatty), I came away victorious. 

I made three purchases which had me forgetting about the scale and thinking about the bigger picture.

1.      

1. Pants. I love a pack of five pants from M&S, bikini style. I bought a pack of size 16s.    
2. Workout trousers. I always go for the ones made from a more jogging bottom style of material. No more. I bought a skin tight, lycra-esque pair from H&M. Size – large. I wore them to spinning last night and I felt really good in them.
3. Jeans. The ultimate shopping nightmare. Throw in the fact just about the ONLY style on the go right now is ‘skinny’and I am a 33 leg (yes,I know it doesn’t exist) I was not feeling the denim love. I tried on a lot of pairs and eventually settled for a size 16 straight leg from Dotty P. They fit – but not only are they tight, they are also VERY straight legged and one millimetre away from being skinny jeans. I feel pretty damn good in them though and every other pair of size 16 jeans and shorts I tried on, fitted. Ha! 

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 180 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 24.25 pounds

The bigger picture

I've had such a boring few days that I think I've bored myself into a near catatonic state.

At the end of the last week I could feel a cold coming on and I was pretty annoyed about it - mainly because it would impede my exercising  plans. I went to the gym on Thursday as I wasn't feeling too bad at this point. On Friday I felt like crap and sacked off the exercise and a night out with friends too, opting instead for some quality sofa surfing. The next day I still wasn't feeling much better but I was feeling a bit anxious about what it would mean taking another day off working out - and I'm on a six day week this week. I did a bit of googling to confirm what I already suspected - if I felt fine from the neck down then  there was no reason why I couldn't work out.

Going to the gym was the last thing I felt like doing but other than that I was actually just sitting on my arse so if all I felt sleeping and not much else afterwards, then fine. Off I trotted on both Saturday and Sunday and the Sunday workout even ended up being boypump! I went to circuits last night which wasn't that great. Apart from the fact there was lots of sprinting (hate it!) I strained a muscle during the warmup in my left thigh which meant I couldn't squat or lunge and running was  rather tricky too. It's still a wee bit sore today so I'll just have to watch I don't overdo it at spinning tonight.

So how do I feel about tomorrow's weigh in. Optimistic but quite frankly nothing surprises me when it comes to the scales. Based on how I feel, and my diet and exercise over the past then I'm expecting a loss. However, when I did my recap of some my dieting years I realised just how much of a slave to the scale I was. I can't let that happen again. There have been some brilliant non scale victories today which reminded me it's all about the bigger picture.  My mantra tomorrow morning will be 'bigger picture'.

And finally, a quick exercise recap:

Thursday: Gym workout
Friday: Nothing
Saturday: Gym workout
Sunday: Bodypump
Monday: Circuits & 7 mile cycle
Tuesday: Spinning and 2.5 mile cycle

More back fat

My first weigh in of the Great Diet of 2005 took place on my first day back to work following New Year. I was 15 stone 6lbs. That morning I put on the flat shoes I had bought for the sole purpose of wearing to walk to work and off I set on the 30 minute walk. I counted calories, aiming for around 1250 for the day and then I walked home again. 

Repeat for every weekday.

Every single day, no matter what the weather, I walked to work. I had this black parka thing with a big hood which was a struggle to do up around my backside but it was warm and kept me dry on the many cold, wet and frosty mornings. This was the days pre ipod and I used to get The Highlander to put a CD in my Discman (ha – makes me feel so old writing that) the night before work so I’d get a surprise CD to listen to on my way to work.  I also went to the gym twice a week. No matter what. This was my routine and I stuck to it. At the weekends I ate a bit more than during the week but it was all dutifully logged in my notebook. I lost weight steadily; 1 pound some weeks, 2 pounds other weeks and after six months I had lost 2 stone, which averages out pretty much a pound a week. Hmmm- notice a pattern here? A pound a week sounds paltry but bloody hell, keep at it and boy does it add up - and it felt pretty damn good.

So that was just the first six months of 2005, what about the latter six? Who the hell knows what happened. I tried to lose weight for all of those six months – counting calories and exercising but after losing and gaining the same few pounds month after month, the grand total of my efforts at the end of the year was about five pounds. The reality of the situation is that I wasn’t as consistent as I had been for the first six months. I was doing a lot though and I was frustrated. However – how can you be that annoyed when a year after starting to diet and exercise I had lost almost two and half stone – go me!

2006 rolled around and the first weigh in of the year saw 13 stone 4lbs on the scales. I was determined to move on down into uncharted weight waters. Fast forward six months time and I was 12 stone 12lbs. Okay, so I had lost just a few pounds but it was the same few pounds over and over again. The only consolation was that I was working out loads and so I was at least getting fitter.

Over the next few months I managed to lose... 3lbs. The lowest I ever managed to get down to was 12 stone 9lbs. This was my darkest dieting time. I was killing myself exercise wise while eating around 1250 calories a day but my weight was barely moving. I remember one morning I weighed myself and had put on a pound after a week of being totally on plan – after weeks of staying the same. My mum called me and I have a vivid memory of sitting crying my heart out down the phone to her.  The gain of a pound is no big deal but I all I did was live dieting for week after week with an obsessive like focus and to see the scales going in the wrong direction just about tipped me over the edge and ultimately it was getting me nowhere. By the end of the year I was sitting at around 13 stone, with another new year looming and the thought of getting ready for another stab at the diet.

PS) Just replying to the comments on my last post.... Amy - so lovely to hear from you! Peridot, the old blog is no more - not updated it since I moved here. 

Strop over

Sorry about my little strop the other day. Okay, sorry about my massive strop. I well and truly threw my toys out my pram! Zanna, your comment fairly made me laugh though.

I do know that my hard work will pay off and the scales will catch up at some point. My frustration stemmed from the fact there had been a lot of obstacles and challenges in my way leading up to this week's weigh in which I navigated with carefully planning and shit load of hard work.With the amount of mental and physical energy I devoted over the past eight days, I wanted a return. Simple as that.

Since then, I've calmed down and have refocused on the six days until the next weigh in... or have I.  Ummm... kind of. The thing is, I have caught an almighty head cold and I feel like utter poop (hence why I stayed in last night and tonight - that's a Friday and a Saturday night). I'm trying to keep the faith but the last thing I feel like doing is eating healthily and working out. In saying that, I have read that if you feel okay from the neck down then really you have no excuse to exercise and so while I rested up yesterday, I dragged my sorry backside to the gym on Thursday and today. I've eaten pretty much on plan and so fingers crossed that I feel better tomorrow and I can kick it up a gear before Thursday's weigh in. Yes, that's right, Thursday. Mark your calendars people, weigh ins are moving to Thursdays. More on that soon.

For now, I must thank Ruby over at Strictly Blooming for my stylish blogger award. Ruby and I are quite similar; we're both roughly the same age and weight and have lost the same amount of weight so I really enjoy getting a peek into her life.

And the rules of acceptance are:
Thank- the person who nominated your blog.
Share 7 things about yourself
Pass on to 15 friends (I'm not going to pass this onto anyone in particular but if you fancy doing it, horse on)



 So here are 7 things about myself.

1. This is not my first blog. I started blogging in 2005 and I was very open on the blog about who I was, including pictures etc. When The Highlander (my ex) and I split up I decided to make things bit more anon as I was talking about all sorts of topics and people and I wasn't too keen on revealing lots of juicy details when it was obvious who I was. I eventually shut down that blog when Moonraker (my ex- we split up almost exactly a year ago) discovered it.
2. I am loud. I love to be the centre of attention and I like to be the one making people laugh, telling stories and generally being know for being fun.
3. The thought of women earning less than men, or any general gender inequality makes my blood boil but I'm all for blue and pink jobs (you boy, take that bin out). I do tend to mother my boyfriends though and love to cook for them and generally take care of them.
4. I am an outrageous flirt. I wouldn't describe myself as classically pretty but I do think I'm quite attractive and I certainly play it up with members of the opposite sex whenever I can, wherever I can.
5. I am highly intolerant. Someone in front of me in the street walks too slowly? Hurry the fuck up. Someone gets my order wrong in a restaurant? Listen properly you idiot! Someone can't make a decision? Make up your bloody mind! This is getting worse as I get older.
6. I am very determined and once I put my mind to something I just about always accomplish it. The only area of my life that I have struggled with this is my weight.
7. I'd like to think I'm a good listener, marry that with a pragmatic nature and I used to (not so much now we're all older) often get friends coming to me for advice on anything from money and boys to relationships and work.

Weigh in

I'm pissed off. Really really annoyed.

I worked so hard this week. The miles I did on my bike, the pavements I pounded, the lengths I swam and the weights I lifted weren't enough.

I refused burgers, banoffee pie, tablet, a chippy, bacon rolls, biscuits, ice creams, bread, butter.... the list goes on yet I stayed the same. Not one ounce lost.

Yes, I know it all evens out in the end and it'll show up eventually, muscle weighs more than fat blah blah BLAH. Not interested. I wanted to lose weight TODAY. Right now. I want rewarded for my efforts and I want that reward in the form of a lower number on the scale.

No comments please. I am fucked off, have caught the cold and am pissed off, just in case that wasn't clear.

Starting Weight: 204.25 pounds
Current Weight: 183 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 21.25 pounds

A weekend of...

Barbeques
A size 14 French Connection dress
Afternoon tea in the park
Hanging with good friends
Making plans for bike adventures
Family
Rum
Granny chinwags
Compliments
Avoiding banoffee pie
Working out in the sun
A big hangover
Driving around the country
Getting a farmer tan
A cup cake sugar smack down
Loving my life