How to weekend with the folks

 

It's been a bloody lovely weekend. My mum and dad came to visit and not only did we have a delicious, healthy (so says me!) meal at my place on Friday night of Spicy Beef Stew but on Saturday we visited a Castle and had a walk around the grounds (and up the turret) and then went to a Transport Museum. We had a meal out a lovely hotel on Saturday night with them and then on Sunday morning I got my car boot on - coming away with 7 gorgeous purple glasses for 50p, a Charles and Di biscuit tin, a necklace for £2 and the most hideous/delicious bag for £1. Bargain!

I then stole a lift back to the hometown with my parents as I had the dentist yesterday morning. Goodbye, last of my wisdom teeth (face is rather tender today). I also managed to pop round to my Granny's for a quick hello. It was nice to be trotting about the streets of my childhood. The picture above is the road leading to the street I grew up on. I walked this road, up and down, every day I went to school - both primary and secondary. Ah, the memories.

 

 

 

Over the weekend I have to say the diet was pretty damn good. Friday night I had a glass of wine and a couple of slimline G&Ts  - and a handful of crisps, after the healthy meal above. Saturday, I stuck to soup and then chicken with veg when out for my meal. I only had a few rums and diet coke and no pudding. Sunday was another great day. Perhaps I shouldn't have had the peanut butter on my toast and banana - but all in, an excellent day.

 

I veered off track a little last night.  I picked at mini chocolate pumpkins and a few minstrels and looking back they probably added up to a packet's worth. I also had a right good few bites of a donner kebab (don't ask).

 

Today has been excellent and I just need to keep that going tonight to give me a fighting chance for a loss tomorrow morning. Exercise has been very poor over the past week. Apart from generally being on my feet and walking a lot over the weekend - I have done sweet FA. Sometimes life gets in the way and there's not a lot you can do about it. I'm going out for a run tonight. Seems a bit last ditch but something is better than nothing.

Pulling it back

Right - I've got 5 days to nail it.  The last two - haven't exactly been on the money.

Baking club... As planned I didn't have dinner. I saved myself for cake - and then I went a bit nuts. I ate a LOT of cake (the mint chocolate meringues were a personal favourite.) By the time I got home I felt so whacked out on sugar I had a cheese sandwich to try and offset saccharine state I was in.

Last night, before the work meal out, I snuck a few mouthfuls of cake when I dived home to change. And they weren't even that good! With the meal I probably had about 3 large glasses of wine. Starter was just prawns (excellent) and for main I had steak. Annoyingly though, it came with chips. Delicious chips- which I ate every single one of. At least they were big chunky ones. Yes, I am clutching at straws.

For dessert, I stuck to the game plan and just had a coffee. At least I could polish my halo for that one good choice. Oh no, wait - there was an extra bit of banoffee pie ordered. What shall we do with it? Yes, dear readers - I ate half of it. Arses. Big fat arses.

So it's not really panning out the way I planned it. Not at all! However, the cavalry is on it's way! My mum and dad are visiting this weekend and under her watchful gaze there will be NO deviation. I am going to have 5 spectacular days and on Wednesday, I will have lost weight. I'm not sure how much, but I will have lost.

Weigh in

Baking and dieting. I just cannot do them both.

Last night it was time to bust out the brownies as I've got baking club tonight. By the time the raw mix was in the oven I had eaten half a crunchie and licked a bowl.

Before they were decorated (for Halloween) I had eaten more than one (or maybe 4 -  or more!) portions - it's hard to quantify when you are just merrily chomping away. A major factor in this incident is that the top shelf of my oven is FAR hotter than the middle shelf and one of my trays of brownie were seriously overcooked and getting them out the tin results in lots of broken and lose bits - that somehow fell into my mouth. And all less than 10 hours before weigh in. Smart. Move.

However, weigh in still took place this morning and I still managed to lose something. 3.5lbs - sliding me down to 13 stone 5.5lbs, which I am pretty chuffed about Well, I would have liked if it had been 4lbs. Oh wait - did I not just say yesterday that if it was a 1/4 of a pound then at least it was going down? Yes. Yes I did so I just to take the 3.5lb loss and shut up.

So what does this mean for my pre-Christmas podge plotting. Good things! A pound a week would take me to 12 stone 10.5 and a pound and a half a week would take me to 12 stone 8.25. I'd be happy with either of those numbers. However, I want to romp on as quickly as possible and I'm aiming for 2lbs next week. Gotta name it to claim it.

The only problem is - I'm pretty damn busy over the next week. I don't want problems though, I want solutions - and here seven days worth:

Wednesday: Half hour walk at lunchtime. Baking Club. No dinner, instead cake is my meal.
Thursday: Half hour walk at lunchtime. Client dinner. Soup for starter, fish for main. No pudding.
Friday: Half hour walk at lunchtime. Parent's for dinner at mine. Healthy meal planned
Saturday: Hanging with the folks (i.e. Boot Camp Mother) so will not be allowed to deviate
Sunday: 6km run
Monday: Day of gadding around the country for meetings. Packed lunch and fruit snacks.
Tuesday: 1 hour of Badminton singles.

Onwards!

Mathematical Fat

Week one - back on the dieting horse and it's been... okay.

Tuesday  to Friday were actually pretty plain sailing. I planned my meals and I stuck to them. I'd say I operated at probably 95% percent perfection. I also went out for the two runs which I mentioned in earlier posts.  Then, the weekend arrived. Damn you, weekend and your lack of structure.

On Friday night there was SO much booze. The only positive from that was that I stuck to diet coke and spirits (even though they were far more pricey). My resolve weakened, I also ate 1/2 a cupcake and a slice of pizza.

This wasn't too disasterous but the hangover and the general laid back vibe of the weekend also saw me induldge in pizza, a choc ice, couple handfuls of chocolate sweeties, bread with dinner, marshmallows, white bread with breakfast and lunch on Sunday and quite a few biscuits I baked from my left over biscuit dough- with icing on top.

 

This is not acceptable. I won't lose weight carrying on like this. On Sunday I threw on an old pair of jeans and not only was the belt on the next notch up but it was cutting me in two! I had convinced myself I wasn't really that far from where I needed to be but the reality is that I've got some hard work to do and I'm not just a couple of pounds away from where I should be (at my highest).

So, I'm annoyed. And this is compounded by the fact that despite going out for three runs this week (I did 5.3km last night), power walking for 20 minutes a day and being on plan the majority of the time I feel just as blobby and wobbly as I did when I got back from hols. Annoyed.

But, I'm an optimistic one and opportunities are there for the taking. Challenges are there to be beaten and lard is there to be busted.

There is no way I can't have lost something. Even if it's a quarter of a pound it's going down. I've also just done something which I've not done in a long time as usually this kind of behaviour sets you up for a fall. I've just counted the weeks to Christmas and worked out how much weight I 'could' lose.

I know this is dangerous ground but I feel motivated by it and I am trying to be realistic and if that's what it takes... I have nine more weigh ins before Christmas. Based on the weight I was a week ago a pound a week would take me to 13stone 3/4 of a pound. If I lose 3/4 of a pound tomorrow then I'll  would be back in the 12s. It's not where I want to be. I want to be 12stone 7lbs but it's in the vicinity. It's getting there.

If I lost 1.25lbs a week then I would be 12stone 11 and 3/4 of a pound. This is just 4lbs off my lighest. Spitting distance!

Okay - that's it. No more dicking around. 1.25 average a week is totally do-able as long as I put in the effort, stay mindful and stay determined. Game ON.

 

A beautiful Scottish blue sky

Pears on our tree

My biscuit tombstones - reading for icing and sticking to the graves

Weekend plotting

Top tip to make sure you do enough exercise when you workout... forget to take your front door key with you when you go out for a run so you have to  run around the block to keep warm until your boyfriend gets home - 25 minutes later.

It's actually just as well as I'd only covered 4.52km when I got home so a few minutes later once I'd done a quick circuit of the park  - I'd definitely covered 5k.  I also threw in some lunges, squats, chest presses and sit ups. I was bloody freezing by the time TB came home though and it was pitch black.

The run itself was quite slow. My legs were really heavy and I walked for a couple of 30 second blasts. Still - my pace isn't too bad and at the moment it's more about getting out there and moving.

It was another successful day all round yesterday. Porridge for breakfast, low fat ready meal for lunch (not my usual at all but it was one of those days) and spicy sausage and bean casserole with cous cous for tea. I gave most of the sausage to TB and so mine was mostly bean and veggie casserole. It was one of my freezer meals made about a month ago - queue smug domestic face.

This weekend we've got quite a quiet one planned- yippee! There are still some dangers lurking though.

Tonight I am out with the girls. We're going to an organised girls night out which seems to involve Butlers in the Buff and all manner of other cringeworthy things. I may need serious amounts of booze to get through it. As long as I can stay off the wine and on spirit and diet mixers - that's okay. I'll have tea at home before so at least that's one saving grace.

Did I mention I'd joined a baking club? There is pic below of some of the bakes - and mine in progress. It was a passion cake which was bloody delicious, even if I do say so myself. It's our second meeting on Wednesday and I need to practise part of my Halloween creation; some thin biscuits. The danger of popping the odd corner once they are bakes into my gob is ever present. I need to make specific shapes with them and so there is probably going to be a lot of breakage. Oh my. I need to be mindful and remember two things... 1. I can enjoy baking without eating like a mentalist and 2. The sneaky mouthfuls of biscuits add up. I will enjoy a couple of tastes of various cakes on Wednesday and so I just need to hold off until then. The other part of my bake is Peridot's insane brownie recipe. More on what I'm doing with it next week.

Other than that - my weekend is relatively plain sailing. I HAVE to watch the last two episodes of Great British Bakeoff so I can watch the final on Tuesday. TB and I have also agreed we fancy a really nice steak for dinner at the weekend. Already drooling over the thought. Well, to be honest at the moment I'm drooling over the thought of a lint ridden polo found at the bottom of my handbag. Yup, still hungry!

Here's a couple of pics that I've snapped recently.

 

 

Baking Club
Autumn Sky
London Wedding Reception Shenanigans
TB getting pummelled in the hydro pool on holiday

Hunger strikes

So we're in day three of ZT. And when I say we, I mean me.

And it's going pretty well. Meals are planned, snacks are prepped and I can safely say I am pretty happy with my performance.

There is no denying I am struggling with feeling hungry but if I can just get through this week I know that will subside. I just have to ride it out as best I can. It's 4.30pm, I've just had a yogurt and a nectarine and I am still struggling. Oh well. As my mum said to me in a text "Hungry schmungry. Too Bad!"

On Tuesday I went for a run and knocked out 4.25km in 29 minutes which I pretty pleased with. Especially since I had to walk for 100 metres or so due to a late dinner/not enough digestion time situation.

I was wiped last night and so after the creation of a healthy fish pie, cleaning the cat flap (to try and remove the scent of a bully cat - don't even start me on that topic) and cleaning the kitchen it was time for some serious bum on couch time. However, tonight there is a 5k with my name on it.

I would actually like to be playing badminton but the place I could play is miles away and by the time I got there it wouldn't be worth my while. So running it is - for now.

Zero Tolerance

Holy Crap.

The holiday is well and truly over. Get this... 13 stone 9lbs. Sweet Jesus. Sweet Jesus chowing down on cake. To bring that into perspective - I was a stone lighter than this but two months ago. That's right people - seven pounds a month.

That takes work. Hard work. You really have to eat like a bastard to gain like that. Oh lady....

But - it's done. That is the situation and bemoaning my lack of will power to hold things together in the weeks preceding my hols ain't gonna change anything.

I feel pretty grim, I've not a jot to wear as the flab does not fit into any of my clothes. Christmas is looming and so there is no other option than clamp-down and not just any clamp-down. This, my friends is Zero Tolerance (ZT). 

We're on day two. I'm ready to take this to day three. Bring it!

How to ruin your holiday

Allo my luvverzzzz.

How are we all? Embracing Autumn with zest and vigour? Pulling out the cosy knits and puddle proof boots? While everyone else thinks about their 2012 winter coat I've been doing the exact opposite and looking out the shorts and flip flops because on Sunday I jet off to Cyprus for 7 days! Booya! 30 degrees baby - here I come.

It's going to be scorchio! I cannot wait. But first, we have a wedding in London to get our nuptial groove onto. Well, that's if we actually get there. You see I'm not sure I can fit my backside into a plane seat. I cannot stop eating!

Oh lordy, it has all gone spectacularly done the pan. Last week I ran 5k (and the hip felt fine!) and I played badminton singles for an hour  but I am eating like it is going out of fashion. This week I have done NO exercise and am packing on the beef like a crazy woman. I'm not going to into details of how flabby I feel and how all my clothes feel tight - but suffice to say I am worried about looking 4 months preggers in my new dress I bought for this wedding. My thighs and boobs - oh god. Oh GOD!

TB seems to be delighted that my boobs feel and look massive but he is blinded by the boob - it also means everything else is bigger. Everything comes at a cost, young man! But here's the deal... I'm going on holiday and I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm not going to worry about a half stone (or probably more, ugh). I'm going to eat, drink and be merry. When I come home, it will be time for action. Serious action.

For now, I wish drastically change topic - to weddings and marriage. I think it's safe to say that I cannot wait to be married to TB. He is the love of my life and everything I could ever want. At the age of 32  I am never going to be a young bride or a young mum and but my desire to be his wife and mother to his children is overpowering. All around me friends are getting married and having babies which only serves to remind me how much I want it.

Almost two months ago we were at a wedding and yours truly caught the bouquet (for the second time!). A funny moment and while TB and I were laughing and joking about it - I wanted him to know what I was thinking. My courage boosted by booze, I put it out there.

"It's not just because we're at a wedding and it's not just because I caught the bouquet - but I want us to be married and I want us to have a family together.
"I really want it."
"I know", he said.
And we hugged for a long time.

That was all we said and that was all I wanted to say. That was two months ago. And while I wouldn't expect him to do to it the following day, I wonder  - is he going to do it soon? Does he realised I want him to do it soon? He must!

We're already making plans for holidays for next year and it seems that there is no thought that a wedding might be slotted in there. I want to get married next year. I want to be have a baby before I am 35. Two and a half years to do all that - 9 months of which you are preggers, is not a long time.

So why am I blogging about this now. Why roll it into one post? Well - we go on holiday on Saturday morning. Holiday, people! What do a lot of people do on hols? Thaaaaaat's right - they get engaged!

Now, I know for sure he's not going to propose on holiday but even while I type that there is a teeny tiny part of me that thinks, maybe - just maybe. I need to rein myself in. I'm letting myself get out of control. Do you know what I did the other day? I have always avoided looking or thinking about anything wedding related as I don't want to jinx it - and I'm just not one of these people who has been 'planning their wedding since they were a little girl' (who are these people) but not only did I look in a jeweller's window but I have actually created a possible guest list spread sheet! What the actual chuff?!

I know! I need to catch myself on - big time. So no more. I need to breathe deep and relax. When it happens it will happen and it will be right for me. It will be especially right for me though if it's before the year is out!

Rollercoaster of Lard

I am more than bored of banging the same lardy drum and so here is a very condensed version of life in the fat lane, over the past week.

• Didn't make the gym on Monday - worked late instead
• Kept picking at the cake I made even though it was in the office kitchen
• Ate 4 chocolate bars on Tuesday night while driving to my folk's
• Got up on Wednesday and weighed myself on my mum's scales. Dear Lord
• Mum challenged me to lose 4lb by holiday time (2 weeks on Saturday) 
• Post weigh in I went out for run and did some squats and lunges too
• Had a full day on plan - apart from some white bread
• Thursday was also a full day on plan - apart from some white bread and pesto
• I played badminton on Thursday night

The upshot is I lost it again at the beginning of the week. I got it together on Wednesday and the biggest thing for me - I've been moving my backside again. I only did a very short run - 3km in 20 mins (9km per hour) but I did it - and my hip feels okay. That's about the distance I could go before it started hurting again so I took it easy and didn't do any more than that.

I'm out for dinner tonight and at a cocktail session tomorrow night -  from 5pm! So the weekend is going to be boozy. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow, regardless. No idea what I'll see but I really really hope it's less than last week. Let's not even think about what my mother's scales were saying...

Weigh in

The avoidance of 'last night before the diet' mentality didn't really happen. Honestly, it was more of an indulgence with a touch of gluttony.

We ended up having a bit of impromptu night out and ordering a take-away. I did not want to get a take-away but there were a few of us and that seemed to be the majority rule. It's really hard in those instances to pipe up. That's when healthy = boring. So we got a chinese and I ate and I ate. I also knocked back the booze and then when I came home I ate some leftovers. So pretty much, I went for it.

The next morning weighing was weighing on my mind. And for good reason. 13ston 0.25lbs. Crap. That means I've gained half a stone in about a month. Nice one. Really good job. Idiot! I'm hoping a couple of those pounds will vanish pretty quickly as I was laden with salty food but regardless of the number I just have to get the hell on with it. 3 weeks till holiday and counting.

My weekend eating was pretty good but not good enough to be honest. The food at the black tie do was insane - so good and the portions were massive. I turned down bread with the duck starter. I couldn't finish my massive chicken and veg maincourse. I picked at the summer fruits creme brulee but I did eat the two mini white chocolate cookies that came with it.

The only other downfall at the weekend was licking the hell out of the pot I made the butterscotch sauce for Nigella's butterscotch layer cake. This cake is gorgeous. Really moist and the toffee/cream cheese icing works really well with the sweetness of the cake. Yum! I had a tiny slice to test it and the rest is now in the office being eaten by my colleagues. Phew. I love baking though. It's always such a danger as I want to lick and pick and well... just eat it all. I've decided though, I am definitely going to do more. I love it too much to banish it.

It was so good being at home for the  whole weekend rather than diving off to other parts of the country seeing other people. I do love being busy and being away but sometimes you just wanna potter around at home. And I did more than potter. I got washing done, a big food shop, hoovered the stairwell, looked at cookbooks, baked, meal planned, watched a film, had a long lie, changed beds. And I got to bust out my new duvet cover that I got with my Tesco points for practically nothing thank to the double rewards offer.

Tonight I'm going to the gym after work and I'm hoping I'll be able to get into a spinning class. It's doubtful as it's fully booked so I need a drop out so I can steal their slot. Regardless, I will get my sweat on one way or another. 5 day to kick it till weigh in.

Plan of Fakery

The last couple of days have followed the same pattern as the past week. Have a really great day diet wise and the ruin it in the evening by mindlessly eating rubbish.

Not a whole lotta rubbish, but crisps, a few biscuits and half a jam sandwich. You get the gist. I just cannot seem to find the drive. Where is the drive?! I want to be eating better and I really want to be exercising (curse you, sore hip) but I seem to just kinda forget about it when faced with the kitchen cupboard.

So I'm gonna have to do what I always do when I don't feel motivated - fake it till I make it. And here is my plan of fakery.

Tomorrow morning  - weigh in. Gads. Do not want to do it. It has to happen though. The scales and I need to reconnect. We have to reconnect. I have a very quiet weekend planned. The only thing on the cards is a black tie do on Saturday night. I need to watch the wine, but it doesn't pose too much of a problem. I am also planning to meal plan, do a big food shop and bake. Whooooa there... bake? Yes, bake. I really want to. I never do it as I just want to eat it all and so I'm going to make a cake and take the whole thing into the office. That way I can't pick at it once it's finished.

As for the rest of the week, I have simply got to get my sweat on. I know I feel better and want to eat better when I am in the workout zone, so...

Monday: Spinning after work
Tuesday: Nothing (driving to the parent's after work)
Wednesday: Very light run in the morning followed by some squats etc.
Thursday: Spinning or bike ride (weather dependent)
Friday: Possible light run

Now, I know there word 'running' is written above. And, I know I'm still not supposed to run but, I've been doing my strengthening exercises and I will do lots more before Wednesday when I plan to do a light run. I'm only going to do a couple of slow miles to see how things go.

Feel better already for having written all that out. Now, I must not go nuts tonight since it's weigh in tomorrow. Must banish any thoughts of 'one last night' eating.

Have a lovely weekend darlings. x

Thighs & resolve - communal wobble

 

I'm in a precarious position just now.

 

Life is good. Really good, and there is so much that I have to be happy about. I'm a very lucky girl. Work is good, friends are brilliant, social life is choc-a-block and I've got the most incredible man in my life (spew!). So you get the gist - I'm a happy bunny.

 

In fact - today is mine and TB's two year anniversary. On this date two years ago I jumped on a train for 3 hours to spend a weekend with someone who I had only really met and flirted with in passing. Without a doubt, the best decision I ever made. I've already been vomit inducing cringe-worthy and so I might at well keep going... Sometimes TB will react to a situation in a certain way, it might just be to get up at 5am to rescue the cat from a fight in the garden with the neighbour's brute or the way he chats with people for the first time, and I think to myself, "that's the kind of person I want to be with." Then I realise I am. He's everything I've ever wanted. I know - pass the bucket.

 

I also feel pretty good about myself. I've lost a good chunk of weight and kept most of it off. I don't feel like a massive overeweight blob (most of the time) and so maybe I should just relax and enjoy where I'm at. There it is... I'm slowly creeping back up the pounds. Do I stop worrying about it and try and level things off, or do I keep striving for a weight loss mindset which invariably results in my being pissed off with myself as I can't seem to get there.

 

Even if I don't actively decide to take my foot off the gas, it's happening. The scales are going up. The wobble is wobblier and so is my resolve and I'm not sure how to incite a wind of change. The 13's are calling my name. That bloody stone range that has become the devil on my shoulder, whispering encouragement to eat and drink without thought.

 

That is exactly what's happening - thoughtlessness. I'm not binging or gorging. I'm not craving or secret eating.  I'm eating too much in the evening, not exercising enough and eating and drinking far too much at the weekend. You know, kinda like someone who's not on a diet. But I AM! I am ALWAYS on a diet. I cannot keep on doing this. Otherwise in three and a half weeks I'm going to head off on hols and will be writing a post about how nothing fits and if I'd just got it together when I wrote this then I would be much happier (little bit too much time travel tense changing there - you get the gist).

 

My mum is coming to stay tonight and so tonight will be a full on counselling sesh - for both of us. I'm going to come back here with a plan of action involving weighing myself (frightened to do that right now) and exercise and general winning.

 

 

Here's a lovely pic from the weekend.