I'll not beat about the bush - the diet isn't really going too well. It is going - just very very slowly.
My meals are all pretty healthy but the portions are way too big (soup and a sandwich for lunch two days running) but I'm also eating the odd slice of cake, a finger of fudge (which I don't even really like!), a handful of crisps... and so on.
I've also done no exercise. Diddly squat - and that's the closest I have come to real squat, writing 'diddly squat'.
Tomorrow is the dreaded weigh day and I'll be honest - a gain is not out of the question. How do I feel about that? Well, a sort of ambivalent nothingness. Which is really how I've felt about this latest re-entry into the weight loss mindframe. I'm just not fired up or motivated. I could bleat on about the various reasons for this but it's doesn't actually matter what they are - they are all excuses.
So what am I going to do? Well, first thing is first. I need to suck it up. I can do this. I want to do this. I need to stop being so weak and just get a sodding grip. Weak is quite a strong word but it sums up how I feel. I don't feel strong enough to stick solidly to a healthy eating plan. I don't feel strong enough to get out excercising. However, weak is just a frame of mind and one that I intend to send packing. And this is how...
I've got to talk the talk AND walk the walk. I KNOW that I feel so much better and in control when I am exercising. For me, diet and exercise go hand in hand and without one of them - the whole shooting match comes falling down.
So, it's time to grit my teeth and actually do what I am say I am going to. Tomorrow, I am going to the gym. I really do not like the gym anymore but I need to get moving in some shape or form. Tomorrow my baking club takes place across the road from my gym. After work and before baking club, I shall go to the gym. It will happen. That is step one.
As for the the coming weeks and months, I have one word CrossFit....