I was really trying not to let yesterday's weigh in get to me. On the face of it, I was winning but my sneaky, subconscious was being a little shit.
I can't quite explain it but I knew I wasn't 100% motivated to stick it to the next seven days. This is a tiny TINY thing but it kinda shows my mindset. Thursdays I have melon and yogurt for breakfast and nothing else but coffee before my lunchtime spinning class. I had no melon so I had porridge instead, which is totally fine, but later in the morning I had a cracker and cold meat. Yeah, I know, BIG WOW. It's nothing but I know if I had lost something yesterday there is no way I would have done that.
I got home from spinning and instead of just getting on with making my scrambled eggs, I had some more cold meat, this time with avocado - while waiting the 4 mins my eggs took. Again not a big deal on the face of it but it's the fact I did it, that says a lot.
So I was feeling a little on the back foot, until later that evening. The dress I was going to wear to this wedding on Saturday is a no go. I tried it on the other night and I'm not happy with it. I've got a couple of other options and while they still fit me, they just sorta hang there now and are pretty drab looking as a result. So yesterday I did what any respectable woman would do, I panic bought three dresses.
The first is flattering and very nice but it's all brown and blacks and quite frankly, boring. At £32 it is going back (have I ever mentioned how I don't like to spend money?). The second is a deep purple and is lace. It is also tight. Straight up and down kinda tight. I have to really pull it on to get in to it, tight. I really like it but can I get away with it? It was £20 from New Look. I have NEVER worn a dress like this. There is no hiding in it. The size of my arse is the size of my arse.
The pink one is from Tesco and was also £20. It's lovely. I really like the colour but it's just a bit safe and it probably more the kind of thing I would wear to work. Is it more flattering though. I couldn't decide and so TB got a fashion show and my best friend too - via pics. And in fact, have a wee lookie yourself. Here I am - please excuse the messy room (and hair).
TB had no hesitation, the the tight lace one. ''Very Special K', he said. Best friend also plumped for purple. So I'm going for it! Bottom on show and all!
When I was trying them on, both of them, I actually felt really lovely. Well, I felt more than that actually. The purple dress is a medium, the pink a 12. A 12 for crying out loud! Take that scales and subconscious! When I look at these pics I can't quite believe that's what I look like. That's not how I see myself.
Yesterday morning I allowed myself to feel negatively. 12 hours later and I couldn't have felt more positive. Perspective is hard to get a handle on.